KLB Klaagbaak
Klaag maar raak voor een knaak.
Beste klagers,
Het leven is nog niet zo erg. Al uw klachten vallen in het niet wanneer je ze vergelijkt met de berichten op deze site.... http://www.fmylife.com/top
Het leven is nog niet zo erg. Al uw klachten vallen in het niet wanneer je ze vergelijkt met de berichten op deze site.... http://www.fmylife.com/top
quote:Today, I handed my PhD dissertation, which I have spent the past year researching and writing full-time. Last night, my roommate set an autocorrect on Word that changed "neither" to "nigger." I didn't notice until after I handed it in. My professor is black. FML
quote:Today, my boyfriend of 2 years sent me a text messages saying, "Don't worry I'm gonna break up with her soon. Love you." FML
i'm not living, i'm just killing time
Behulpzaam als een waterkraan.
Op woensdag 29 april 2015 16:30 schreef seto het volgende:
als je niet #teamhenk bent ben je gewoon een *weggeFopt*homo
Op woensdag 29 april 2015 16:30 schreef seto het volgende:
als je niet #teamhenk bent ben je gewoon een *weggeFopt*homo
Idd erg geloofwaardig
If it has a grass wicket, play cricket! (Nee, dit slaat niet op het spelletje!)
Lullo scrotum ejaculatio est.
Hattrick: Ladderzatsquad (208243)
Lullo scrotum ejaculatio est.
Hattrick: Ladderzatsquad (208243)
Dit is dan wel weer humor
quote:Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML
That suxxquote:Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years.
Ik vind jou aardig.quote:
quote:Today, at the elementary school where I teach, the kids all voted for their favorite teacher. I was the only one to receive zero votes. When I asked a small group of students why no one voted for me, one boy replied "because you're the ugliest". FML
Wat een hilarische sitequote:Today, at the elementary school where I teach, the kids all voted for their favorite teacher. I was the only one to receive zero votes. When I asked a small group of students why no one voted for me, one boy replied "because you're the ugliest". FML
Behulpzaam als een waterkraan.
Op woensdag 29 april 2015 16:30 schreef seto het volgende:
als je niet #teamhenk bent ben je gewoon een *weggeFopt*homo
Op woensdag 29 april 2015 16:30 schreef seto het volgende:
als je niet #teamhenk bent ben je gewoon een *weggeFopt*homo
Mooie site:
Today, the girl I love and I went to visit my parents out of state for the first time. My father grinned and acknowledged that she was a "keeper", at which she laughed and said we were "just friends". I was going to propose to her next week. FML
Today, the girl I love and I went to visit my parents out of state for the first time. My father grinned and acknowledged that she was a "keeper", at which she laughed and said we were "just friends". I was going to propose to her next week. FML
quote:Today, my boyfriend was tapping on my thigh to the beat of the music when we were driving to dinner. When I asked him what he was doing he replied, "Just watching the ripples." FML
i'm not living, i'm just killing time
quote:Today, my boyfriend asked me to set up his new Mac and transfer all the pictures from his old notebook. Seems like he forgot that when he went on vacation 2 months ago he took pictures of him having sex with another guy. We've been together for 3 years and just moved in together. FML
Behulpzaam als een waterkraan.
Op woensdag 29 april 2015 16:30 schreef seto het volgende:
als je niet #teamhenk bent ben je gewoon een *weggeFopt*homo
Op woensdag 29 april 2015 16:30 schreef seto het volgende:
als je niet #teamhenk bent ben je gewoon een *weggeFopt*homo
quote:Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling in bed. After looking at me for a while he said, "you look better when I'm not wearing my contacts". FML
geniale site
We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered.
quote:Op woensdag 11 februari 2009 14:50 schreef Beregd het volgende:
Mooie site:
Today, the girl I love and I went to visit my parents out of state for the first time. My father grinned and acknowledged that she was a "keeper", at which she laughed and said we were "just friends". I was going to propose to her next week. FML
Today, at the elementary school where I teach, the kids all voted for their favorite teacher. I was the only one to receive zero votes. When I asked a small group of students why no one voted for me, one boy replied "because you're the ugliest". FML
Only when the last tree has died and the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will we realize we cannot eat money.
quote:Op woensdag 11 februari 2009 14:53 schreef dekilo het volgende:
Today, at the elementary school where I teach, the kids all voted for their favorite teacher. I was the only one to receive zero votes. When I asked a small group of students why no one voted for me, one boy replied "because you're the ugliest". FML
Only when the last tree has died and the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will we realize we cannot eat money.
quote:Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
Als je te stom bent om inhoudelijk te reageren, kan je natuurlijk altijd nog de spelling/gramatica gaan lopen afzeiken om toch nog te kunnen doen alsof je meedoet.
quote:Today, my fiance "thought I should know" that she has a $125,000 student loan debt. FML
Behulpzaam als een waterkraan.
Op woensdag 29 april 2015 16:30 schreef seto het volgende:
als je niet #teamhenk bent ben je gewoon een *weggeFopt*homo
Op woensdag 29 april 2015 16:30 schreef seto het volgende:
als je niet #teamhenk bent ben je gewoon een *weggeFopt*homo
Omgquote:Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML
Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML
Only when the last tree has died and the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will we realize we cannot eat money.
quote:Today, I was in a hurry to get to work, and in my car I had two drinks settled down in my cup holder. One was my coffee, and the other was an unfinished cup of coffee where I ash and toss my cigarettes. FML
Ja kwam 'm via GS tegen idd.. Vond het wel een eigen topic waardquote:
i'm not living, i'm just killing time
quote:Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML
quote:Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML
quote:Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed "why, Jesus?!?" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me who found religion in prison and is a born again christian was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML
funny shit
Never argue with an idiot, he will take you down to his level and beat you with experience
quote:Today, at lunch I ordered a coke. The waiter replied "diet coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular coke." He shook his head and said again, "diet coke." FML
quote:Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream." FML
Oei het zal je maar gebeuren.quote:Today, my wife, in her magnificent wedding dress, had her period during the ceremony. How did I find out? The same way everyone else did.
Zag het op geenstijl, aardige site, maar ik denk dat de maker een hele dikke duim heeft.
Would you like to know more?
Alles over cryptocurrency, bitcoin en blockchain in begrijpelijke taal
Alles over cryptocurrency, bitcoin en blockchain in begrijpelijke taal
Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML
quote:Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidently sent it to my dad and got a text back saying "You definitely take after your mom". FML
sure.
hahahaquote:
mensen moeten zich niet zo aanstellen, janken doe je thuis maar. Hier op internet is het niets anders dan bigboys.
quote:
Ook al is het nep, het is wel leuk om te lezen
Op woensdag 30 juni 2010 20:32 schreef afcajos het volgende:
Verrassend. Een topic over het regelen van te jonge smatjes en C_N en Lakitu zijn er als de kippen bij.
Verrassend. Een topic over het regelen van te jonge smatjes en C_N en Lakitu zijn er als de kippen bij.
Wel heeeeel erg ongeloofwaardigquote:Op woensdag 11 februari 2009 14:50 schreef Karina het volgende:
Er staan wel hele grappige tussen, maar sommige zijn wel erg ongeloofwaardig.
Op dinsdag 7 juli 2009 @ 09:30 schreef iemand het volgende:
Dan moet je het wel goed uitleggen. Als "je" naar de persoonvorm komt krijgt de uitgang alleen geen "t" als het jij betekent. ;)
Dan moet je het wel goed uitleggen. Als "je" naar de persoonvorm komt krijgt de uitgang alleen geen "t" als het jij betekent. ;)
quote:Today, I went to my boyfriend’s work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, “Just this fat chick I know”. FML
Deze is dan wel weer geloofwaardig, ook op m'n eigen reis naar Amerika meegemaakt, als je niet je eigen bagage ingepakt hebt, gaan ze erg moeilijk doen..quote:
How do you get precisely 4 Gallons of water with a 3 Gallon and 5 Gallon Can...
quote:Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML
quote:Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML
How do you get precisely 4 Gallons of water with a 3 Gallon and 5 Gallon Can...
quote:Today, I was having sex with a guy that I just met, and when I thought he was about to orgasm, he actually had an asthma attack. FML
YEAH!!! 
Vigilante +1 The Coon strikes again!
Op vrijdag 10 juli 2009 09:51 schreef Zith het volgende:
TS is met z'n çollega's lunchtsverkeersleider op de comodoren.
Op vrijdag 10 juli 2009 09:51 schreef Zith het volgende:
TS is met z'n çollega's lunchtsverkeersleider op de comodoren.
SPOILEROm spoilers te kunnen lezen moet je zijn ingelogd. Je moet je daarvoor eerst gratis Registreren. Ook kun je spoilers niet lezen als je een ban hebt.AJAX AJAX AJAX!!
PSN: Rossoneri15
Dikke LOLZ
I had a splitting headache.From which the future's made.
† Ryan Dunn (June 11, 1977 – June 20, 2011)
It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to.
VIVA LA ASSANGE¡
† Ryan Dunn (June 11, 1977 – June 20, 2011)
It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to.
VIVA LA ASSANGE¡
Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML
!
!
Ripped her heart out right before her eyes! Eyes over easy, eat it! Eat it! Eat it!
quote:Op woensdag 11 februari 2009 16:30 schreef IkBenOzan het volgende:
Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML
quote:Today, I looked at the facebook of the girl I really liked, and I saw she wrote on her friend's wall "Last night was the biggest mistake of my life." We hooked up last night. FML
Primum non nocere
Today, the girl I love and I went to visit my parents out of state for the first time. My father grinned and acknowledged that she was a "keeper", at which she laughed and said we were "just friends". I was going to propose to her next week. FML
Ouch
Ouch
Dasvidanja
quote:Today, my mum decided that me being bisexual meant that I was "deciding whether or not to be a lesbian because no men will have me." Thanks mum. FML
quote:Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year old boy. 3 times. FML
quote:Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys... a big black rubber cock. FML
Moet wel nep zijnquote:Today, I was walking down the street with my newly healed implants, when a drag queen approached me and asked who my doctor was, because I was the "most convincing transgender he had ever seen." I'm a woman. FML
..quote:Today, my sister teased me about being a mistake baby. When I told my mom what my sister said, her response was "I still love you anyway". FML
quote:Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML
Ripped her heart out right before her eyes! Eyes over easy, eat it! Eat it! Eat it!
tvp
schreef Siniti het volgende
Omg wat een topic Buffalo, je flikt et em weer, zoeen kwaliteitstopic. Je bent mijn grote voorbeeld gast !
schreef stevenmac26 het volgende:
Dit is toch een pure kwaliteits topic, hoe doet die jongen dat toch ook?
Omg wat een topic Buffalo, je flikt et em weer, zoeen kwaliteitstopic. Je bent mijn grote voorbeeld gast !
schreef stevenmac26 het volgende:
Dit is toch een pure kwaliteits topic, hoe doet die jongen dat toch ook?
Leedvermaak. zooo verkeerd..
The greatest trick Trifko ever pulled was convincing the world he doesn't exist...
Deze volg ik nog even.
Briljante quote's, of ze waar zijn of niet
Briljante quote's, of ze waar zijn of niet
Je weet toch dat ik gelijk heb en jij niet?
quote:Op woensdag 11 februari 2009 15:21 schreef Vuile het volgende:
Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML
0 topics op naam. 14.gif
quote:Today, I got this HUGE package at my college dorm from my parents with candy, chips, canned soup and all these goodies. When I called my mom to thank her, she replied "We got rid of your cat, Annie". FML
quote:Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML
quote:Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML.
Wat een site
SPOILEROm spoilers te kunnen lezen moet je zijn ingelogd. Je moet je daarvoor eerst gratis Registreren. Ook kun je spoilers niet lezen als je een ban hebt.
Wtf.quote:
Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML
"Give me some chocolate or I will cut you" -Becky
Today, I finally reunited with a lot of old friends from school. It was great to see everyone grown up and hear the stories. At the end we decided to have a group photo for old times sake. They asked me to take the picture. FML
Today, I went to work 300 miles away from where I live. I couldn't find my customer's address, so I decided to call him. I'd picked up my wireless house phone instead of my mobile. FML
quote:Today, me and my family watched the video of my birth. In the video, when my mother sees me for the first time, she says "God he's ugly!" FML
quote:Today, I was up for a job interview in a music school. I go to get my guitar out off its case, and realize that my friends thought it would be very funny to replace my real guitar with one of the Guitar Hero guitars. FML
quote:Today, I accidentally unplugged my headphones in the quiet section of the library, causing my music to play from my laptop at full volume. I was listening to Celine Dion. I'm the captain of the football team. FML
[ Bericht 19% gewijzigd door SiestaGuru op 11-02-2009 20:02:05 ]
Overigens is deze nog beterquote:Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML
Die site is FOK!king geniaal
quote:Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finished she proceeded to tell me she already had a boyfriend and that his penis was larger then mine. FML
Wahaha die 1e is goed, die 2e is anders ook geweldigquote:
Beste klagers,
Het leven is nog niet zo erg. Al uw klachten vallen in het niet wanneer je ze vergelijkt met de berichten op deze site.... http://www.fmylife.com/top
[..]
[..]
Drive few cars and far more unicorns.
.
Mr.Cooper schreef ooit het volgende:
ik kan teminste headbangen, lekker met me lange haar lopen chille en zo, kan ik van jou niet zeggen naar je chemokuur-kop
.
Mr.Cooper schreef ooit het volgende:
ik kan teminste headbangen, lekker met me lange haar lopen chille en zo, kan ik van jou niet zeggen naar je chemokuur-kop
Loooll !!!!111!11
quote:Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
Drive few cars and far more unicorns.
.
Mr.Cooper schreef ooit het volgende:
ik kan teminste headbangen, lekker met me lange haar lopen chille en zo, kan ik van jou niet zeggen naar je chemokuur-kop
.
Mr.Cooper schreef ooit het volgende:
ik kan teminste headbangen, lekker met me lange haar lopen chille en zo, kan ik van jou niet zeggen naar je chemokuur-kop
Helaas even veel verzinsels als in KLB.quote:
Op woensdag 4 februari 2009 20:58 schreef Hoi_Piepeloi het volgende:
Ik dacht altijd dat jij een extreme kutuser was, maar je bent best grappig :+
Ik dacht altijd dat jij een extreme kutuser was, maar je bent best grappig :+
Dit lijkt me ook wel eens leuk om te doen 
quote:Today, I got a text message saying "I'm sorry I know its our 4 month but its not working out, I need to break up with you" followed by her complaining I never called her as well. WTF? I haven't had a girlfriend for 6 months. FML
quote:Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much turkey at a family reunion. When I looked around the room over 20 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML
quote:Today, I came home early from work and discovered my husband wearing a black babydoll nightdress, black stockings and high heels... He says it helps him to relax. FML
quote:Today, it was the first time I ever saw a vagina in person. It was during medical school training on how to do a pelvic exam. FML
quote:Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met at a speed dating event. He recommended the lamb shank, which I proceeded to order without looking at the menu. When the waiter took my order, my date said, "wait, the lamb is $27, why don't you get the chicken". He then ordered the lamb for himself. FML
quote:Today, I had a flat tire I called my boyfriend of over a year and he told me that sucks while he was sitting at home 10 mins away from me. Instead a stranger helped me. FML
Ain't nothing to it but to do it.
Greece
Greece
good topic
Op zoek naar een nieuwe printer? Kies voor een Brother laser printer. Uiterst betrouwbaar en economisch!
Today, I got fired from my job. I worked for my parents. FML
Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML
Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML
Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML
[ Bericht 40% gewijzigd door TheFreshPrince op 11-02-2009 21:06:17 ]
Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML
Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML
Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML
[ Bericht 40% gewijzigd door TheFreshPrince op 11-02-2009 21:06:17 ]
Today, I sent my boyfriend some nude pics of me. Later I get a text from my dad asking me when I had gotten a tatoo. FML
[quote]Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML[/qoute]
Niet kunnen quoten
Op vrijdag 27 februari 2009 22:30 schreef andre347 het volgende:
God weer he, altijd die God weer met zijn uitvindingen.
God weer he, altijd die God weer met zijn uitvindingen.
quote:Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML
quote:Today, I decided to teach my dog not to be scared of the vacuum cleaner. I grab the handle and get it close to her. She runs off and hides behind the couch and pisses everywhere. FML
Fuck today, it's tomorrow.
Never regret anything, beacuse one time it was exaclty what you wanted.
Op donderdag 29 mei 2014 01:52 schreef Tamashii het volgende:
Aan Ado vraagt iedereen toestemmming
Op donderdag 29 mei 2014 01:52 schreef Tamashii het volgende:
Aan Ado vraagt iedereen toestemmming
quote:Today, my 6 year old son says to me: 'You smell nice daddy'. Surprised, but very flattered I thank him, he adds 'I like the smell of cheese!'. FML
Ik support gevallen topclubs!
quote:Today, my boyfriend told me he was going to take me out somewhere special, so I called in sick for work. Turns out he had made reservations for the restaurant I worked at. FML
quote:Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML
quote:Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. FML
quote:Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. When she asked me to pick up her thong from behind my bed I realized there were two. I didn't pick up hers. FML
quote:Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and said I was not 'Christian enough' for her. Later I found out she had been cheating on me with my best friend. FML
quote:Today, my phone rang for the first time in four days. It was my mom. She dialed the wrong number. FML
quote:Today, my girlfriend asked if her friend Alex from high school could join in with us and we could have an amazing threesome. As a horny dude how could I say no...Turns out Alex is also a guys name. FML
quote:Today, I found out my crush has a colostomy bag because she has no anus. FML
TevensVPquote:Today, I got bored and decided to try World Of Warcraft. FML
Op zondag 8 maart 2009 21:38 schreef Danny het volgende:
fuck de policy. posten die hap!
fuck de policy. posten die hap!
quote:Today, my phone rang for the first time in four days. It was my mom. She dialed the wrong number. FML
Op maandag 14 september 2009 10:46 schreef Buschetta het volgende:
Oplosing is simpel.
Koop een paar kuikentjes. Als je er meer als 3 kapot kan stampen voor een groepje kleuters dan ben je een bikkel.
Oplosing is simpel.
Koop een paar kuikentjes. Als je er meer als 3 kapot kan stampen voor een groepje kleuters dan ben je een bikkel.
Damn, dit is zo flauw dat het niet eens grappig is. 
Op vrijdag 13 februari 2009 09:53 schreef kogelbiefstuk het volgende:
Gelukkig heb ik niet zo'n "verdomd mieters jasje".
Gelukkig heb ik niet zo'n "verdomd mieters jasje".
0wnedquote:Today I found my daughter on facebook after years of looking for her after the divorce. It turns out it was my ex pretending to be my daughter so she could track me down. FML
quote:Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML
Het leven is net ganzenborden. Je kunt steeds weer opnieuw beginnen, tenzij je in de put blijft zitten.
Je mag hier werken, je moet het niet.
Pencil & Paper really is the top WYSIWYG app!
myminicity
Je mag hier werken, je moet het niet.
Pencil & Paper really is the top WYSIWYG app!
myminicity
dan baal je hardquote:Op woensdag 11 februari 2009 20:52 schreef MaGNeT het volgende:
Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML
(_/_)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
(='.'=)
(")_(")
!
"I'm interested in anything about revolt, disorder, chaos, especially activity that appears to have no meaning.
It seems to me to be the road toward freedom. - Jim Morrison"
It seems to me to be the road toward freedom. - Jim Morrison"
Ah, eindelijk een waardige vervanger voor qdb & bash, aangezien zij tegenwoordig nog slechts zelden nieuw materiaal hebben.
I was an atheist until I realized I was God
omgquote:Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her exiting her room....my electric tothbrush in her hand. FML
Fluitbekzeenaalden zijn tropische & subtropische zoutwatervissen die hun naam te danken hebben aan hun buisvormige snuit, die aan een fluit doet denken.
quote:Op woensdag 11 februari 2009 21:13 schreef MaGNeT het volgende:
Today, I sent my boyfriend some nude pics of me. Later I get a text from my dad asking me when I had gotten a tatoo. FML
Op maandag 14 september 2009 10:46 schreef Buschetta het volgende:
Oplosing is simpel.
Koop een paar kuikentjes. Als je er meer als 3 kapot kan stampen voor een groepje kleuters dan ben je een bikkel.
Oplosing is simpel.
Koop een paar kuikentjes. Als je er meer als 3 kapot kan stampen voor een groepje kleuters dan ben je een bikkel.
quote:Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML
Fluitbekzeenaalden zijn tropische & subtropische zoutwatervissen die hun naam te danken hebben aan hun buisvormige snuit, die aan een fluit doet denken.
quote:Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML
Bij misbruik zal contact opgenomen worden met je provider. In geval van illegale praktijken zal er volledige medewerking worden verleend aan justitie.
OMFGquote:
Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML
Omnia dicta fortiora, si dicta Latina
Wat een onzin
1/10 Van de rappers dankt zijn bestaan in Amerika aan de Nederlanders die zijn voorouders met een cruiseschip uit hun hongerige landen ophaalde om te werken op prachtige plantages.
"Oorlog is de overtreffende trap van concurrentie."
"Oorlog is de overtreffende trap van concurrentie."
quote:Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML
Ok stelletje hokboeren
quote:Today, a girl entered the public washroom I was washing my hands in. When she saw me, she stopped dead in her tracks. I then saw her go to the door to make sure she was actually in the girl's washroom. FML
Ok stelletje hokboeren
Goed topic. Goede site. 
Life is just a series of peaks and troughs, yeah. And you don't know whether you're in a trough until you're climbing out, or on a peak, 'till you're coming down. And that's it. - David Brent
prachtig dit.
Ik krijg hier zo'n goed gevoel van
edit:
[ Bericht 45% gewijzigd door WeebI op 12-02-2009 17:07:56 ]
Ik krijg hier zo'n goed gevoel van
edit:
quote:Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML
quote:Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML
quote:Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML
[ Bericht 45% gewijzigd door WeebI op 12-02-2009 17:07:56 ]
Real Madrid CF | Getafe CF | Rayo Vallecano de Madrid | Liverpool FC | Udinese Calcio
Winnaar Butragueño en Harry Been-awards 2007, 2008 en 2009
Winnaar Butragueño en Harry Been-awards 2007, 2008 en 2009
quote:Today, I found out my teacher writes descriptions next to people's names on the register to remind him who people were. By mistake the descriptions appeared on the computer projector. Next to my name it said "Tubby". FML
quote:Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML
LOL!quote:Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. I said that at least I was always there for him when he needed me. He said "When did I need you?" FML
quote:Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
quote:Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style postion was fun, it reminded him what it would be like to rape a girl. FML
quote:Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML
Op zondag 8 maart 2009 21:38 schreef Danny het volgende:
fuck de policy. posten die hap!
fuck de policy. posten die hap!
quote:Today, I was complaining to my sister about how jealous I was of her looks. Her response was "Sometimes it's okay to be the ugly sister. Like, you have less of a chance of getting raped." FML
Op zondag 8 maart 2009 21:38 schreef Danny het volgende:
fuck de policy. posten die hap!
fuck de policy. posten die hap!
quote:Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad proceeded to warn me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML
[b]Op dinsdag 10 februari 2004 14:36 schreef Malawi het volgende:[/b]
Het in den oren stoppen van kiwi's is dus een probaat tijgeraanvalafweermiddel
Het in den oren stoppen van kiwi's is dus een probaat tijgeraanvalafweermiddel
quote:Today, when my boyfriend and I were lying in bed, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML
[b]Op dinsdag 10 februari 2004 14:36 schreef Malawi het volgende:[/b]
Het in den oren stoppen van kiwi's is dus een probaat tijgeraanvalafweermiddel
Het in den oren stoppen van kiwi's is dus een probaat tijgeraanvalafweermiddel
quote:Today, my best friend invited me to dinner at his house. When I went to the toilet, I found my wife's wedding ring in a cup, which she'd lost a week ago. FML
[b]Op dinsdag 10 februari 2004 14:36 schreef Malawi het volgende:[/b]
Het in den oren stoppen van kiwi's is dus een probaat tijgeraanvalafweermiddel
Het in den oren stoppen van kiwi's is dus een probaat tijgeraanvalafweermiddel
quote:Today, my boyfriend's sister called me to wish me congratulations and ask me when I was due. I said I wasn't prenant to which she replied "Yes you are, my brother just told us the good news". Long pause. "Oh wait is this Mary or Morgan?" I'm Morgan. Who's Mary? FML
Op zondag 8 maart 2009 21:38 schreef Danny het volgende:
fuck de policy. posten die hap!
fuck de policy. posten die hap!
quote:Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML
quote:Today, I saw the following message on my Facebook News Feed: "Morning Sex: [My mom] and [My dad] are fans. Click here to Join" FML
quote:Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
quote:Today, I was buying an expensive pillow for my mother from a store clerk who wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. After paying, I saw an elderly lady who had dropped a bag, so I walked to help. I walked back to the clerk, who refused to believe I paid. The reason? He didn't recognize my face. FML[quote]Today, I was buying an expensive pillow for my mother from a store clerk who wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. After paying, I saw an elderly lady who had dropped a bag, so I walked to help. I walked back to the clerk, who refused to believe I paid. The reason? He didn't recognize my face. FML
Deze site is wel een kickje waardquote:Today, my fiance of two years told me he was bored of me and he'd just prolonged the engagement to see if anyone more interesting would come along in the mean time. He was upset because no one did. FML
quote:Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML
Leipe shizzlequote:Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML
Swiggity swooty, I'm coming for that booty.
quote:Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Op woensdag 23 juni 2010 22:44 schreef Chuck_Norris het volgende:
Haha Jap jonge trollgod
Op woensdag 23 juni 2010 22:48 schreef Skylark. het volgende:
Chuck is mastertrolled _O_.
Haha Jap jonge trollgod
Op woensdag 23 juni 2010 22:48 schreef Skylark. het volgende:
Chuck is mastertrolled _O_.
quote:Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room... my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML
quote:Today, my mom : "You and your dad like all the same foods right? Try this for me", she then proceeds to give me a strawberry flavored jelly. I say that it tastes good and ask what she gave me. "It's my new nipple cream, I want to surprise your dad tonight." FML
quote:Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
quote:Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
quote:Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML
quote:Today I noticed that my daughter was making funny noises which oddly resembled sex sounds my wife makes. When I asked her what she was doing she said "I'm pretending to be mommy from last night." I was on a business trip last night. FML
quote:Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML
quote:Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
quote:Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we weere joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
quote:Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to Itunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML
quote:Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML
quote:Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
quote:Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML
quote:Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML
quote:Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML
best heel geniaal die site , al zal90% fake zijn , tblijft humor
Op donderdag 20 augustus 2020 17:36 schreef Notorious_Roy het volgende:
Naast alle onzin die je uitkraamt heb je af en toe ook gewoon heel verstandige posts.
Op dinsdag 10 augustus 2021 16:32 schreef yvonne het volgende:
@:Jimbo voor mod, yeah *O*
Naast alle onzin die je uitkraamt heb je af en toe ook gewoon heel verstandige posts.
Op dinsdag 10 augustus 2021 16:32 schreef yvonne het volgende:
@:Jimbo voor mod, yeah *O*
quote:Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
quote:Today, my child says "Mommy. Sometimes my peepee goes up like a stick." I say "Well, honey, that's normal and ok." Then I ask when it does that. And he says "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes..." FML
quote:Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't hang out with me because he felt really sick. I went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. I walk in to his room only to find him hooking up with my sister. She can't drive, our mom drove her there. FML
Act like you know || Autofans.nl!
Op woensdag 19 november 2008 12:15 schreef Stormqueen het volgende:
WAT BEN JE TOCH EEN ONMEUNIGE KANKERHUFTER MET EEN GIETIJZEREN PLAAT VOOR JE HARSES :')
Op woensdag 19 november 2008 12:15 schreef Stormqueen het volgende:
WAT BEN JE TOCH EEN ONMEUNIGE KANKERHUFTER MET EEN GIETIJZEREN PLAAT VOOR JE HARSES :')
Toffe moederquote:Today, I called my girlfriend to ask her to the movies. She declined and said she was sick and was going to sleep. Wanting to see the movie, I invited my mom and we went. My mom then pointed out my "sick" girlfriend making out with a guy. My mom threw a full bag of popcorn at her. FML
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge: it is those who know little, and not those who know much, who so positively assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science.”
quote:Today, my father asked me if he could borrow my electric razor because he wanted to "surprise mom later". Anxious to see him without his life-long beard, I willingly agreed. About half an hour later he exited the bathroom. Beard fully intact. FML
quote:Today, my parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word "hell". FML
quote:Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML
><(({°>
Het blijft leuk
Behulpzaam als een waterkraan.
Op woensdag 29 april 2015 16:30 schreef seto het volgende:
als je niet #teamhenk bent ben je gewoon een *weggeFopt*homo
Op woensdag 29 april 2015 16:30 schreef seto het volgende:
als je niet #teamhenk bent ben je gewoon een *weggeFopt*homo
Deze is wel heel erg epic:
quote:Today, I was talking this guy I'm dating and stated that the only reason I am with him is because of what he buys me. I was joking. He then responded that he doesn't care because the only reason he is with me is because I give good head. He was serious. FML
Act like you know || Autofans.nl!
Op woensdag 19 november 2008 12:15 schreef Stormqueen het volgende:
WAT BEN JE TOCH EEN ONMEUNIGE KANKERHUFTER MET EEN GIETIJZEREN PLAAT VOOR JE HARSES :')
Op woensdag 19 november 2008 12:15 schreef Stormqueen het volgende:
WAT BEN JE TOCH EEN ONMEUNIGE KANKERHUFTER MET EEN GIETIJZEREN PLAAT VOOR JE HARSES :')
quote:Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML
Ok stelletje hokboeren
jammer dat er niet bij staat voor hoeveel tijd vriendschap die $20 dan wasquote:
(_/_)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
(='.'=)
(")_(")
[b]Dingen doen met dingen, da's machtig mooi
Twitch: <a href="https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden" target="_blank" rel="nofollow norererer noopener" >https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden</a>[/b]
Twitch: <a href="https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden" target="_blank" rel="nofollow norererer noopener" >https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden</a>[/b]
quote:Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including my ex. FML
Op donderdag 20 augustus 2020 17:36 schreef Notorious_Roy het volgende:
Naast alle onzin die je uitkraamt heb je af en toe ook gewoon heel verstandige posts.
Op dinsdag 10 augustus 2021 16:32 schreef yvonne het volgende:
@:Jimbo voor mod, yeah *O*
Naast alle onzin die je uitkraamt heb je af en toe ook gewoon heel verstandige posts.
Op dinsdag 10 augustus 2021 16:32 schreef yvonne het volgende:
@:Jimbo voor mod, yeah *O*
Nee!quote:Today, I woke up hungover and thirsty, I found a glass of water next to the sink, filled it up with more water, chugged it and went back to bed. I woke up an hour later to my best friend telling me she thought she lost her contacts. They were in a glass next to the sink. I ate her contacts. FML
Ok stelletje hokboeren
quote:Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML
I can't come to the phone right now, I'm eating corn chips and masturbating. Please leave a message.
quote:Today, I bought my girlfriend an iPhone. I preloaded it with a bunch of cool apps and stuff and spent a lot and money. She used it to send a text to me 3 hours later saying that she thought we should break up. FML
THIS IS NO TVP
I am a Chinese college students, I have a loving father, but I can not help him, he needs to do heart bypass surgery, I can not help him, because the cost of 100,000 or so needed, please help me, lifelong You pray Thank you!
quote:Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML
<hr>
LOLquote:Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it and offered some to me. FML
Bodybuilding #1
Hardlopen #2
Hardlopen #2
quote:Today, I was working at Old Navy. A girl came up to me and did a bizarre dance. Not knowing how to react, I imitated her to be friendly with the customer. Then she stopped cold. Her friend stormed up to me and yelled, "you jerk! Why are you mocking her? She has tourettes you know!" FML
Alle eendjes zwemmen in het water. :)
Anatidaephobia is altijd terecht! Wij zijn de beste stalkers...
Anatidaephobia is altijd terecht! Wij zijn de beste stalkers...
Dat is er ook wel eentje.quote:Today, I was talked into having sex with my boyfriend of 4 years. I had always wanted to wait till marriage but my boyfriend convinced me otherwise. Once we were done, he said he could never marry me because I was no longer pure. FML
Alle eendjes zwemmen in het water. :)
Anatidaephobia is altijd terecht! Wij zijn de beste stalkers...
Anatidaephobia is altijd terecht! Wij zijn de beste stalkers...
quote:Today, I was teasing my boyfriend telling him that my butt was so much cuter than his and that at least mine wasn't smelly stinky or hairy. Then he said yeah, I just wish that your vag was the same way. FML
While we're living, the dreams we have as children fade away
AFC Ajax | Borussia Mönchengladbach] | Kansas City Chiefs | Alabama Crimson Tide
AFC Ajax | Borussia Mönchengladbach] | Kansas City Chiefs | Alabama Crimson Tide
Dan voel je je kut .:
.:quote:Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML
Act like you know || Autofans.nl!
Op woensdag 19 november 2008 12:15 schreef Stormqueen het volgende:
WAT BEN JE TOCH EEN ONMEUNIGE KANKERHUFTER MET EEN GIETIJZEREN PLAAT VOOR JE HARSES :')
Op woensdag 19 november 2008 12:15 schreef Stormqueen het volgende:
WAT BEN JE TOCH EEN ONMEUNIGE KANKERHUFTER MET EEN GIETIJZEREN PLAAT VOOR JE HARSES :')
Ze blijven leuk inderdaad.
quote:Today, I realized that my father's weekly unemployment check is more than my bi-weekly pay check. My full time job pays less than my father's unemployment.
quote:Today, in an effort to seduce my husband, I laid in bed caressing myself. He walked in, looked at me, and said "is the ground beef in the freezer still good?" and when I answered "yes," he turned and walked out of the room. FML
While we're living, the dreams we have as children fade away
AFC Ajax | Borussia Mönchengladbach] | Kansas City Chiefs | Alabama Crimson Tide
AFC Ajax | Borussia Mönchengladbach] | Kansas City Chiefs | Alabama Crimson Tide
quote:Today, I finally convinced my husband of 8 years to partake in a threesome with a guy that works with me and for which I have developed feelings. Everything was going well until in the heat of the moment my husband started performing oral sex on my colleague. I can't face either of them now. FML
Alle eendjes zwemmen in het water. :)
Anatidaephobia is altijd terecht! Wij zijn de beste stalkers...
Anatidaephobia is altijd terecht! Wij zijn de beste stalkers...
quote:Today, I thought it would be funny to fart in my roommates mouth while he was asleep. I walked over to him and pulled my pyjamas down and let loose. To my surprise it was a very wet one and I accidently took a dump on his face, he woke up and beat me until I was bleeding. FML
Alle eendjes zwemmen in het water. :)
Anatidaephobia is altijd terecht! Wij zijn de beste stalkers...
Anatidaephobia is altijd terecht! Wij zijn de beste stalkers...
quote:Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
<hr>
quote:day, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. I look him straight in the eye and ask him: "What's the first thing you think about when you look at me?". His answer: "Can I finish my steak?" FML
quote:Today, I feared my mother had seen the bottle of hand lotion i forgot to take off the computer desk after i masturbated last night, but she acted fine. I went out with friends to find she had changed the backgroud to say "Please Do Not Watch Porn on the Family Computer." FML
quote:Today, I went to fill up my car. 500 metres before the petrol station, I saw a group of motorcyclists in my rear view mirror. I slowed down and pulled over to let them past. In fact, they were also going to fill up. 35 motorcyclists and 2 petrol pumps. FML
quote:Today, my husband invited his boss and his wife to dinner. During the meal, I tasted the wine and apologised for its bad quality, somewhat annoyed: "Dont drink that, I'll go and look for another bottle." Unfortunately, it was our guests who had brought the wine in question. FML
ander krijg je eelt op je handen...quote:
wtf, waar heb je hand lotion voor nodig dan?
[ Bericht 8% gewijzigd door #ANONIEM op 08-06-2009 15:07:43 ]
Oh, komt dat daarvan?quote:Op maandag 8 juni 2009 15:07 schreef BroesWillems het volgende:
[..]
ander krijg je eelt op je handen...
Ok stelletje hokboeren
quote:Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML
[b]Dingen doen met dingen, da's machtig mooi
Twitch: <a href="https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden" target="_blank" rel="nofollow norererer noopener" >https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden</a>[/b]
Twitch: <a href="https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden" target="_blank" rel="nofollow norererer noopener" >https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden</a>[/b]
quote:Today, I was babysitting a 4 year-old with a speech impediment. I asked her, "Do you got your bag?" And she said, "No. I have my bag. Babies say got. I'm a big girl." I am 20 years old and in the honors program in my college. I was corrected by a 4 year-old with a speech impediment. FML
Wat een speech impediment met grammaticaal inzicht te maken heeft is mij niet duidelijk, maar wel grappig jaquote:
Ok stelletje hokboeren
In amerika hebben ze veelal besneden piemels, dan gaat dat wat makkelijker hequote:Op maandag 8 juni 2009 15:05 schreef padlarf het volgende:
wtf, waar heb je hand lotion voor nodig dan?
quote:Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she will be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML
[b]Dingen doen met dingen, da's machtig mooi
Twitch: <a href="https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden" target="_blank" rel="nofollow norererer noopener" >https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden</a>[/b]
Twitch: <a href="https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden" target="_blank" rel="nofollow norererer noopener" >https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden</a>[/b]
quote:Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML
Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. My mouth was bleeding and I lost two teeth. As I was trying to cough up my teeth the old man next to me shoved me over and stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML
[b]Dingen doen met dingen, da's machtig mooi
Twitch: <a href="https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden" target="_blank" rel="nofollow norererer noopener" >https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden</a>[/b]
Twitch: <a href="https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden" target="_blank" rel="nofollow norererer noopener" >https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden</a>[/b]
Deze is wel HEEL sneu
quote:Today, my mom asked if I wanted to come to dinner with my parents and my grandparents who are in from London. When we got to the restaurant, there was a wait. My mom made me walk home because they could get a table quicker for a group of four than a group of five. FML
[b]Dingen doen met dingen, da's machtig mooi
Twitch: <a href="https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden" target="_blank" rel="nofollow norererer noopener" >https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden</a>[/b]
Twitch: <a href="https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden" target="_blank" rel="nofollow norererer noopener" >https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden</a>[/b]
AHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!!!!quote:Today, I had a food allergy test done because of an ugly acne upswing. And after over a year of vegetarianism, I find out that I'm allergic to soy. FML
Ok stelletje hokboeren
quote:Today, it was my girlfriends birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML
.
Act like you know || Autofans.nl!
Op woensdag 19 november 2008 12:15 schreef Stormqueen het volgende:
WAT BEN JE TOCH EEN ONMEUNIGE KANKERHUFTER MET EEN GIETIJZEREN PLAAT VOOR JE HARSES :')
Op woensdag 19 november 2008 12:15 schreef Stormqueen het volgende:
WAT BEN JE TOCH EEN ONMEUNIGE KANKERHUFTER MET EEN GIETIJZEREN PLAAT VOOR JE HARSES :')
Als ik ff niks te doen heb, is dit echt een prachtige site om te lezen.
quote:Today I was hooking up with a girl in my apartment and I told her I didn't have a condom. She responded by laughing in my face and upon realizing my look of confusion said "Oh, you actually thought I'd have sex with you?" FML
quote:Today, I was setting up my laptop's fingerprint scanner. It worked, but in the name of science, I decided to put my penis on it to see if it could recognize it. When I was trying to login via my penis print, my mom walked in. FML
While we're living, the dreams we have as children fade away
AFC Ajax | Borussia Mönchengladbach] | Kansas City Chiefs | Alabama Crimson Tide
AFC Ajax | Borussia Mönchengladbach] | Kansas City Chiefs | Alabama Crimson Tide
quote:Today someone found a picture of me playing chess, on the internet, now I can't show my face on my favourite forum anymore. FML
Would you like to know more?
Alles over cryptocurrency, bitcoin en blockchain in begrijpelijke taal
Alles over cryptocurrency, bitcoin en blockchain in begrijpelijke taal
Op zondag 13 januari 2008 23:38 schreef remlof het volgende:
Je blijft me verbazen deepart, wat slik je in godsnaam?
Op maandag 27 december 2010 00:52[/url] schreef remlof het volgende:
Diepzinnige deepart.
Je blijft me verbazen deepart, wat slik je in godsnaam?
Op maandag 27 december 2010 00:52[/url] schreef remlof het volgende:
Diepzinnige deepart.
quote:
! !! !
Op woensdag 30 juni 2010 20:32 schreef afcajos het volgende:
Verrassend. Een topic over het regelen van te jonge smatjes en C_N en Lakitu zijn er als de kippen bij.
Verrassend. Een topic over het regelen van te jonge smatjes en C_N en Lakitu zijn er als de kippen bij.
Awh!quote:Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML
Ik ga hier kapot van het lachen.. Penis print
Edgar Davids over Danny Buijs na Ajax-Feyenoord (4-1, 4/2/07): Luister eens, het is niet de eerste keer dat jongetjes zich willen bewijzen en zeker ook niet de laatste keer.
quote:Today, someone stole my phone at a concert. They decided it would be funny to text my mom saying I was pregnant. FML
quote:Today I had an important interview. On the way there, I stopped in front of a car window to look at my reflection, checking I didn't have salad stuck between my teeth. Having pulled several faces, I realised that there were two girls inside the car, cracking up with laughter. FML
Ouchquote:Today, I received a list of employee names who were losing their jobs and I had to remove them from the system as I work for IT. I was on the list. That's right. My last responsibility as an employee was removing myself from the system for security reasons. FML
Omfgquote:Today, I was finally going to Best Buy to get The Sims 3. I was so excited to get it that I ran to the back of the store to get it, and tripped over a little boy in the process, which made me stumble into a CD rack and knock it over. Which made the rest of the CD racks fall over like dominoes. FML
Edgar Davids over Danny Buijs na Ajax-Feyenoord (4-1, 4/2/07): Luister eens, het is niet de eerste keer dat jongetjes zich willen bewijzen en zeker ook niet de laatste keer.
roflmao
quote:Today, a really cute guy sat across from me on the bus. He smiled at me, then tensed his muscles and lifted a heavy bag with one arm. Thinking he was trying to act "macho" to impress me, I rolled my eyes and threw him an annoyed/disgusted look. When he got off, I realized he only had one arm. FML
Edgar Davids over Danny Buijs na Ajax-Feyenoord (4-1, 4/2/07): Luister eens, het is niet de eerste keer dat jongetjes zich willen bewijzen en zeker ook niet de laatste keer.
schreef Siniti het volgende
Omg wat een topic Buffalo, je flikt et em weer, zoeen kwaliteitstopic. Je bent mijn grote voorbeeld gast !
schreef stevenmac26 het volgende:
Dit is toch een pure kwaliteits topic, hoe doet die jongen dat toch ook?
Omg wat een topic Buffalo, je flikt et em weer, zoeen kwaliteitstopic. Je bent mijn grote voorbeeld gast !
schreef stevenmac26 het volgende:
Dit is toch een pure kwaliteits topic, hoe doet die jongen dat toch ook?
quote:Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML
Op donderdag 20 augustus 2020 17:36 schreef Notorious_Roy het volgende:
Naast alle onzin die je uitkraamt heb je af en toe ook gewoon heel verstandige posts.
Op dinsdag 10 augustus 2021 16:32 schreef yvonne het volgende:
@:Jimbo voor mod, yeah *O*
Naast alle onzin die je uitkraamt heb je af en toe ook gewoon heel verstandige posts.
Op dinsdag 10 augustus 2021 16:32 schreef yvonne het volgende:
@:Jimbo voor mod, yeah *O*
quote:Today, I woke up a little after seven. I felt sick to my stomach because last night was my bachelor party and I drank more than I ever have before. I checked my phone, and I had received 42 missed calls. It was seven o'clock pm. Today was my wedding day. FML
"When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story"
quote:
Als ik ff niks te doen heb, is dit echt een prachtige site om te lezen.
Today, I was setting up my laptop's fingerprint scanner. It worked, but in the name of science, I decided to put my penis on it to see if it could recognize it. When I was trying to login via my penis print, my mom walked in. FML
Ik ga echt mijn vrijgezellen feest een week voor mn bruiloft houden denk ikquote:
En dan echt heeuulemaal naar de kanker
! Als ik ooit ga trouwen
schreef Siniti het volgende
Omg wat een topic Buffalo, je flikt et em weer, zoeen kwaliteitstopic. Je bent mijn grote voorbeeld gast !
schreef stevenmac26 het volgende:
Dit is toch een pure kwaliteits topic, hoe doet die jongen dat toch ook?
Omg wat een topic Buffalo, je flikt et em weer, zoeen kwaliteitstopic. Je bent mijn grote voorbeeld gast !
schreef stevenmac26 het volgende:
Dit is toch een pure kwaliteits topic, hoe doet die jongen dat toch ook?
quote:On my last birthday I was in my bedroom waiting for the first familymember to come over. In the time I had to wait I decided to watch some pornographic material I had on my computer. When removed my pants and started playing with myself, all of the sudden my grandma walked in, and asked me to come downstairs.
I quickly pulled up my pants and walked down the stairs with her, hoping she didn't see anything.
When we entered the room, my whole family was already there and my grandma told everyone she found me in my room looking at pictures of aunt Nellly. FML
quote:Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML
OMFGquote:
Op maandag 14 september 2009 10:46 schreef Buschetta het volgende:
Oplosing is simpel.
Koop een paar kuikentjes. Als je er meer als 3 kapot kan stampen voor een groepje kleuters dan ben je een bikkel.
Oplosing is simpel.
Koop een paar kuikentjes. Als je er meer als 3 kapot kan stampen voor een groepje kleuters dan ben je een bikkel.
Dat doen die kaffers op Utrecht CS ook.quote:Op donderdag 11 juni 2009 02:07 schreef krapula het volgende:
Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML
[..]
Mag ik je wat vragen
Nee
Maar ik wilde alleen weten waar de supermarkt is....
dan voel je je toch wel een beeeeeetje lulligquote:
you've got to be kidding mequote:
(_/_)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
(='.'=)
(")_(")
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we weere joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying hi. His response, "I got your best friend pregnant". FML
___________!
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying hi. His response, "I got your best friend pregnant". FML
___________!
Fighting over the internet is like special olympics. Even if you win, you're still a retard
quote:Op donderdag 11 juni 2009 13:21 schreef Silver92 het volgende:
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we weere joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
quote:Op donderdag 11 juni 2009 13:21 schreef Silver92 het volgende:
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we weere joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying hi. His response, "I got your best friend pregnant". FML
(_/_)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
(='.'=)
(")_(")
Held .
.quote:Today, I was playing a medieval game with my brother, when he took all of his character's clothes off and said, "Let's have sex!" I looked at him and said, "UH YOU ARE MY BROTHER!" He turns and looks at me, smiling and says, "But not in the game!" I am a 19 year old girl. He is 12. FML
Act like you know || Autofans.nl!
Op woensdag 19 november 2008 12:15 schreef Stormqueen het volgende:
WAT BEN JE TOCH EEN ONMEUNIGE KANKERHUFTER MET EEN GIETIJZEREN PLAAT VOOR JE HARSES :')
Op woensdag 19 november 2008 12:15 schreef Stormqueen het volgende:
WAT BEN JE TOCH EEN ONMEUNIGE KANKERHUFTER MET EEN GIETIJZEREN PLAAT VOOR JE HARSES :')
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
Fighting over the internet is like special olympics. Even if you win, you're still a retard
quote:Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
quote:Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML
quote:Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML
quote:Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend. I called him and started yelling at him over the phone. He told me that if I wanted to end the relationship I should just hang up the phone right then. Before I could say I still love him and don't want to break up, my phone battery died. FML
Fuck'dquote:
Die kan het wel vergeten
Don't mistake my kindness, for weakness.
Op maandag 28 december 2009 21:48 schreef Boomfluisteraar het volgende:
Griekjeee _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_
Ik aanbid U, o Grote Griekjeee O+ O+ O+ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_
Op maandag 28 december 2009 21:48 schreef Boomfluisteraar het volgende:
Griekjeee _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_
Ik aanbid U, o Grote Griekjeee O+ O+ O+ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_
Ahhhhhhquote:
Don't mistake my kindness, for weakness.
Op maandag 28 december 2009 21:48 schreef Boomfluisteraar het volgende:
Griekjeee _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_
Ik aanbid U, o Grote Griekjeee O+ O+ O+ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_
Op maandag 28 december 2009 21:48 schreef Boomfluisteraar het volgende:
Griekjeee _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_
Ik aanbid U, o Grote Griekjeee O+ O+ O+ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_
De hoer!!!quote:
Don't mistake my kindness, for weakness.
Op maandag 28 december 2009 21:48 schreef Boomfluisteraar het volgende:
Griekjeee _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_
Ik aanbid U, o Grote Griekjeee O+ O+ O+ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_
Op maandag 28 december 2009 21:48 schreef Boomfluisteraar het volgende:
Griekjeee _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_
Ik aanbid U, o Grote Griekjeee O+ O+ O+ _O_ _O_ _O_ _O_
quote:Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door "Are you jacking off in there or something?!" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
_
Geweldig
👍Wanneer krijg ik de FA rechten terug?
Op maandag 11 juli 2011 17:38 schreef Bart het volgende:
Je bent echt een unieke verschijning, vind ik altijd wel grappig als ik jou ergens zie posten :D.
Op maandag 11 juli 2011 17:38 schreef Bart het volgende:
Je bent echt een unieke verschijning, vind ik altijd wel grappig als ik jou ergens zie posten :D.
quote:Today, my mom's will was read to the rest of the family. I helped my mom write it a couple years ago, and I was to get funds to pay off school loans. She revised it and put in a note saying I was to get nothing because I was gay. The executor read it out loud. My mom was the only one who knew. FML
Ok stelletje hokboeren
F*** My Life
Dubbellll
Dubbellll
Op vrijdag 4 november 2011 09:39 schreef Blik het volgende:
"Sinds wanneer is maart de derde maand van het jaar?"
61% van alle statistieken zijn nutteloos.
Vind je dat ik een internet verdien? Klik hier!
"Sinds wanneer is maart de derde maand van het jaar?"
61% van alle statistieken zijn nutteloos.
Vind je dat ik een internet verdien? Klik hier!
quote:Today, I came home from work late (2:30am). As I snuck carefully into bed and laid down next to my sleeping future wife, my fiancee half awake said "No, no... Dan will be home soon." I am Dan. FML
quote:Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from facebook requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML
quote:Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes he did! He's lying I saw him drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML
quote:Today, I was reading through a local wedding mag's advice page. A mother in law to be was writing about how to handle wanting her son to break off his engagement. I thought, "Wow. That must suck. I'm glad I like my mother in law to be." And then I saw her name. FML
quote:Today, I had sex with this guy i really like for the first time. After, we were laying in bed listening to music. When the song finished he leaned over and said, "You know what you and that song have in common?" I smiled and said, "What?" He replied with, "You just got played, get out of my bed." FML
quote:Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML
[ Bericht 2% gewijzigd door D. op 15-06-2009 08:20:22 ]
Driedubble tvpquote:Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML
quote:Today, after buying the plane ticket to Glendale, CA to visit 17 year old Courtney who I met on a dating website, she called me for the first time to say that she was actually 19 year old Seth from Atlanta, GA. FML
quote:Today, my grandpa died. I decided to call my grandma to make sure she was going to be fine. After talking over the phone for 30 minutes or so, I told her goodbye and said, out of habit: "Say hi to grandpa for me". FML
quote:Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML
Striving to be more than average.
Today, I saw my parents for the first time in 11 weeks. They commented on how much weight I lost. I told how due to stress, I hadn't been able to eat anything for the past two weeks and I was basically unintentionally starving myself. They told me to keep it up. FML
[b]Dingen doen met dingen, da's machtig mooi
Twitch: <a href="https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden" target="_blank" rel="nofollow norererer noopener" >https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden</a>[/b]
Twitch: <a href="https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden" target="_blank" rel="nofollow norererer noopener" >https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden</a>[/b]
Today, my mom and I rented a hotel room. She decided to go to bed, while I watched MythBusters. Apparently, my mom got hot while she slept. She threw the covers off of herself and pulled up her night-gown. I turned to find out that my mother does not wear underwear when she sleeps. FML
[b]Dingen doen met dingen, da's machtig mooi
Twitch: <a href="https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden" target="_blank" rel="nofollow norererer noopener" >https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden</a>[/b]
Twitch: <a href="https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden" target="_blank" rel="nofollow norererer noopener" >https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden</a>[/b]
| Forum Opties | |
|---|---|
| Forumhop: | |
| Hop naar: | |