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pi_69817986
quote:
Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to Itunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML
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Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML
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Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
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Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML
pi_69818081
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Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML
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Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML
pi_69818252
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Op maandag 8 juni 2009 09:37 schreef Breathtaking het volgende:

[..]


wel een strakke opmerking eigenlijk
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Op maandag 8 juni 2009 09:44 schreef Breathtaking het volgende:
[..]


PWND!!!
(_/_)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
  Moderator maandag 8 juni 2009 @ 09:59:35 #179
1424 crew  Jimbo
Gråtrunka
pi_69818372
best heel geniaal die site , al zal90% fake zijn , tblijft humor
Op donderdag 20 augustus 2020 17:36 schreef Notorious_Roy het volgende:
Naast alle onzin die je uitkraamt heb je af en toe ook gewoon heel verstandige posts.
Op dinsdag 10 augustus 2021 16:32 schreef yvonne het volgende:
@:Jimbo voor mod, yeah *O*
pi_69818646
quote:
Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
pi_69818693
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Today, my child says "Mommy. Sometimes my peepee goes up like a stick." I say "Well, honey, that's normal and ok." Then I ask when it does that. And he says "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes..." FML
pi_69818857
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Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't hang out with me because he felt really sick. I went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. I walk in to his room only to find him hooking up with my sister. She can't drive, our mom drove her there. FML
Act like you know || Autofans.nl!
Op woensdag 19 november 2008 12:15 schreef Stormqueen het volgende:
WAT BEN JE TOCH EEN ONMEUNIGE KANKERHUFTER MET EEN GIETIJZEREN PLAAT VOOR JE HARSES :')
  maandag 8 juni 2009 @ 10:24:01 #183
147291 SiemPie666
Sapperdeflap
pi_69818974
quote:
Today, I called my girlfriend to ask her to the movies. She declined and said she was sick and was going to sleep. Wanting to see the movie, I invited my mom and we went. My mom then pointed out my "sick" girlfriend making out with a guy. My mom threw a full bag of popcorn at her. FML
Toffe moeder
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge: it is those who know little, and not those who know much, who so positively assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science.”
pi_69818983
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Today, my father asked me if he could borrow my electric razor because he wanted to "surprise mom later". Anxious to see him without his life-long beard, I willingly agreed. About half an hour later he exited the bathroom. Beard fully intact. FML
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Today, my parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word "hell". FML
  Moderator maandag 8 juni 2009 @ 10:38:48 #185
39093 crew  jitzzzze
Banaan in je oor
  maandag 8 juni 2009 @ 10:54:51 #186
194154 BigKahuna
De Eindbaars.
pi_69819850
quote:
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML
><(({°>
pi_69819887
hilarisch site
dus tvp
  Moderator maandag 8 juni 2009 @ 10:58:04 #188
39093 crew  jitzzzze
Banaan in je oor
pi_69820018
quote:
Op maandag 8 juni 2009 10:54 schreef BigKahuna het volgende:

[..]


lekkere trap na
(_/_)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
  maandag 8 juni 2009 @ 11:01:45 #190
157922 fathank
Wie baas is bakt koekjes.
pi_69820056
Het blijft leuk
Behulpzaam als een waterkraan.
Op woensdag 29 april 2015 16:30 schreef seto het volgende:
als je niet #teamhenk bent ben je gewoon een *weggeFopt*homo
pi_69820297
Deze is wel heel erg epic:
quote:
Today, I was talking this guy I'm dating and stated that the only reason I am with him is because of what he buys me. I was joking. He then responded that he doesn't care because the only reason he is with me is because I give good head. He was serious. FML
Act like you know || Autofans.nl!
Op woensdag 19 november 2008 12:15 schreef Stormqueen het volgende:
WAT BEN JE TOCH EEN ONMEUNIGE KANKERHUFTER MET EEN GIETIJZEREN PLAAT VOOR JE HARSES :')
pi_69820339
quote:
Op maandag 8 juni 2009 10:54 schreef BigKahuna het volgende:

[..]


pi_69820350
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Op maandag 8 juni 2009 11:11 schreef r8ality het volgende:
Deze is wel heel erg epic:
[..]


  Moderator maandag 8 juni 2009 @ 11:15:45 #194
39093 crew  jitzzzze
Banaan in je oor
  maandag 8 juni 2009 @ 11:23:08 #195
120887 padlarf
dagdag33 achtig
pi_69820624
quote:
Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML
Ok stelletje hokboeren
pi_69820781
quote:
Op maandag 8 juni 2009 11:23 schreef padlarf het volgende:

[..]


jammer dat er niet bij staat voor hoeveel tijd vriendschap die $20 dan was
(_/_)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
  maandag 8 juni 2009 @ 11:30:09 #197
194154 BigKahuna
De Eindbaars.
pi_69820831
quote:
Op maandag 8 juni 2009 10:38 schreef jitzzzze het volgende:
quote:
Op maandag 8 juni 2009 10:58 schreef jitzzzze het volgende:

[..]

quote:
Op maandag 8 juni 2009 11:15 schreef jitzzzze het volgende:

[..]

><(({°>
  Moderator maandag 8 juni 2009 @ 11:30:36 #198
39093 crew  jitzzzze
Banaan in je oor
  Moderator / Redactie FP maandag 8 juni 2009 @ 11:34:50 #199
90910 crew  Drizzt_DoUrden
Rawr
pi_69820951
quote:
Op maandag 8 juni 2009 11:23 schreef padlarf het volgende:

[..]

[b]Dingen doen met dingen, da's machtig mooi
Twitch: <a href="https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden" target="_blank" rel="nofollow norererer noopener" >https://www.twitch.tv/drizzt_dourden</a>[/b]
  maandag 8 juni 2009 @ 11:35:39 #200
164106 Bullebak
Omdat bier.
pi_69820976
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