Geneeskunde #72: Waar co-assistentes arts-assistenten regelen

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Op zondag 23 januari 2011 11:34 schreef iofn het volgende:

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Wat ik me kan herinneren van kindergnk was dat al die kinderen iig gesedeerd werden en soms ook narcose gingen?

_{Was overigens ook wel een idee geweest voor al die analyse huilbaby's}

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Op zondag 23 januari 2011 11:52 schreef dotKoen het volgende:
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Want analyse atypische p.o.b. is ook veel spannender

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Op zondag 23 januari 2011 11:52 schreef dotKoen het volgende:

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Want analyse atypische p.o.b. is ook veel spannender

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Op zondag 23 januari 2011 12:26 schreef dotKoen het volgende:
Heb ik nog eentje voor jullie: bij bijten/kauwen hoor ik sinds kort steeds een 'klik' gepaard met pijn mijn temporomandibulair gewricht rechts. Weten jullie of daar iets aan gedaan kan worden? Zal wel iets van een subluxatie zijn of zo.

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Most patients with TMJ have nocturnal bruxism (psychogenic grinding of the teeth) or unconscious jaw clenching. As an example, one study directly measured nocturnal tooth contact in patients with TMJ and controls [5]. Evidence for tooth grinding was found in 78 percent of patients. Tooth contact occurred an average of 360 times per night in 10 control patients, compared to 1325 times in nine patients with TMJ and known bruxism, and 999 times in six patients with TMJ without known bruxism.

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Op zondag 23 januari 2011 12:30 schreef dotKoen het volgende:
Oh, Jezus, ben ik UpToDate aan het lezen:

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Op zondag 23 januari 2011 13:25 schreef Pluizel het volgende:

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nou, dat wordt dus een bitje laten maken bij de tandarts tegen knarsen

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Op zondag 23 januari 2011 14:11 schreef intoxicated het volgende:
Ik kan mijn linker sterno-claviculaire gewricht luxeren

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Op zondag 23 januari 2011 14:41 schreef iofn het volgende:
Beter dan degene die elke werkgroep expres zijn schouder een stuk of 8x liep te luxeren.

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Guidelines on the Practice of Orthopedic Surgery

• When faced with a big problem, the orthopedic surgeon should use a big hammer.
• The orthopedic surgeon should always wear a surgical hood in the operating theatre so as to reduce the risk of his head being transilluminated by the bright lights above.
• The orthopedic surgeon should always wash his hands before operating, as strict sterility is vital to modern orthopedic practice. Exactly how long the orthopod should scrub for is a common cause of consternation. These guidelines provide the following incontrovertible rules for orthopods to adhere to:
• A medical student should wash their hands 30 seconds longer than the orthopedic intern when scrubbing.
• Similarly the intern should scrub for 30 seconds longer that the resident, who in turn should scrub for 30 seconds longer than the registrar or fellow.
• The orthopedic consultant, having washed his hands many times during his career, need only scrub his hands for a few seconds.
• The exact amount of time depends of course on the rate of scrubbing, an orthopod who scrubs twice as fast as his colleague need only scrub for half the time.
• The orthopedic surgeon must be careful when scheduling post-operative follow up care. Nothing ruins a good result like follow up.

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Guidelines on the Non-operative aspects of Orthopedics

• If in doubt well youre not really an orthopedic surgeon then are you?
• Save time by remembering the orthopedic auscultation point heart sounds, breath sounds, bowel sounds and knee crepitus can all be adequately auscultated by placement of the stethoscope bell on the xiphisternum. However, such patient contact is best left to junior staff.
• The orthopedic surgeon must protect his hands at all times. For instance, if rushing to catch an elevator the orthopedic surgeon should jam his head between the closing doors and never attempt to hold the doors open with his hands.
• The orthopedic surgeon should know only one antibiotic, otherwise he risks being called a carpenter by colleagues from other specialties. Carpenters usually know at least two or three different antibiotics.
• Orthopedic surgeons should acquire expertise in research methodologies. The best way to develop competency in the conduct of a double-blind randomised controlled trial is for an orthopedic surgeon to read an ECG with a colleague.

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Guidelines on Careers and Finances for Orthopedic Surgeons

• If a candidate is considering a career as an orthopedic surgeon and has half a mind for the job, he may be over-qualified.
• A candidates is deemed to have the capacity to practice orthopedic surgery if it takes him only 2 years to complete a jigsaw puzzle labeled 3-5 years.
• All orthopedic surgeons should have a savings scheme. One of the simplest way to adhere to such a scheme is the textbook method. The orthopedic surgeon should ask one of his colleagues from the Society for the Prevention of Surgery to hide his money between the pages of a textbook or medical journal. That way the there is little chance of the orthopedic surgeon ever finding and spending it.

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Guidelines on the Teaching of Orthopedic Surgery

• Orthopedic surgeons should emphasize the paramount importance of physiology to their juniors. For instance, the primary function of heart namely, to pump antibiotics to the hip replacement must never be forgotten.
• The orthopedic surgeon should never ask a medical student to tell him a joke, unless he is looking for a bruised ego and an opportunity to fail the student.

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Guidelines for other specialties dealing with an orthopedic surgeon

• Remember that the orthopod is the rhinoceros of medicine think-skinned, small brained and charges a lot for almost nothing.

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Op zondag 23 januari 2011 14:49 schreef dotKoen het volgende:
Oh, de laatste orthopedische richtlijnen:

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Via http://lifeinthefastlane.(...)nes-for-orthopedics/

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Op zondag 23 januari 2011 14:49 schreef dotKoen het volgende:
A candidate is deemed to have the capacity to practice orthopedic surgery if it takes him only 2 years to complete a jigsaw puzzle labeled 3-5 years.

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Orthopedic surgeons should emphasize the paramount importance of physiology to their juniors. For instance, the primary function of heart namely, to pump antibiotics to the hip replacement must never be forgotten.