ShowChat #647 - Manic Monday

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Op maandag 13 februari 2006 17:16 schreef timbob het volgende:
Toen mijn vader me ging aangeven bij de burgelijke stand volgde de volgende conversatie:

Papabob: Ik kom mijn zoon aangeven
Loketmeneer: Heeft hij iets misdaan?
Papabob: Nee, hij is net geboren.
Loketmeneer: oh, ik snap het al... Wat is zijn naam?
Papabob: Timbob
Loketmeneer: Bimtob?
Papabob: Nee, Timbob. Met een T aan het begin
Loketmeneer: Oh, ok.. Ik vond Bimtob ook wel grappig.
Papabob: ach man, wat weet jij daar nou weer van

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Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I
morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,

Jim

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Op maandag 13 februari 2006 17:39 schreef Zhenar het volgende:

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Hoe GTST

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Op maandag 13 februari 2006 17:59 schreef Zhenar het volgende:

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Hihi

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Op maandag 13 februari 2006 17:59 schreef Zhenar het volgende:

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Hihi

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Op maandag 13 februari 2006 18:11 schreef Bupatih het volgende:

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Het is niet voor niets een overgewaardeerd kutboek.

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Op maandag 13 februari 2006 18:06 schreef timbob het volgende:

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ik denk dat ik ook maar een paar mensen om ga leggen met de bijbel als back-up.

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Op maandag 13 februari 2006 18:12 schreef Svensational het volgende:
Users Survival Game, 2e Editie !

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Op maandag 13 februari 2006 18:33 schreef Zhenar het volgende:
WTF ik zag net voor het eerst "Date my mom"... hoe freaky is dat?!??!!?

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Op maandag 13 februari 2006 18:41 schreef pberends het volgende:
[afbeelding]

Bridget, de mooiste vrouw van Holland.

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Op maandag 13 februari 2006 18:44 schreef rena het volgende:

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Als zij de mooiste vrouw van Holland is dan zijn er wel heeeeeeeeeeeeel veel lelijke.

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Op maandag 13 februari 2006 19:09 schreef Bupatih het volgende:
http://www.youtube.com/results?search=chineseboys

.

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Op maandag 13 februari 2006 19:10 schreef Svensational het volgende:

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Op maandag 13 februari 2006 19:14 schreef Bupatih het volgende:

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Wat een [zie-mij-eens-crew-zijn]-post. [afbeelding]

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Op maandag 13 februari 2006 19:16 schreef Svensational het volgende:

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Ik doe het om Zhenar te pesten !

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Op maandag 13 februari 2006 19:17 schreef Bupatih het volgende:

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In dat geval: