PTA Planes, Trains & Automobiles
Gemotoriseerd of niet, alles op wielen heeft hier een plek. Van oldtimers tot je nieuwe fiets, van Smart tot brandweerwagen, post het hier!
![DAF-avatar[1].gif](http://i.fok.nl/usericons/15746/DAF-avatar[1].gif){kind=avatar}
NS 1779, bouwjaar 1993, gebouwd in Frankrijk, weegt 86 ton, maximum snelheid 180 km/u.
Tevens: diesellocs 1779.
Een tram.
Een bus.
Een pickup-truck uit het jaar kruik.
Tjabbo's fleshlight
Bojo's date begin----------Eind
Ook_Gek avatar blunder
quote:Op vrijdag 2 september 2011 12:40 schreef FkTwkGs2012 het volgende:
[..]
dangel , geile chicka, neuckuh?doe jij eens een goeie gooi naar wat het thema van alex zijn boek is.
Op vrijdag 2 september 2011 14:39 schreef Dangel het volgende:
[..]
jij bent de ontsteking van de blinde darm die PTA SC heet
quote:
quote:
Op dinsdag 21 september 2010 18:39 schreef Anne het volgende:
Ik reed gisteren wel even door een tunnel. En toen ik eruit kwam, kwam ik.
quote:
quote:Op woensdag 12 mei 2010 21:54 schreef Sounddragon het volgende:
[..]
sex en Lada in één zin
*mompelt iets over anticonceptie
[..]
de enige auto waarin enigzins sexuele dingen zijn gebeurd met mij is anders mijn niva
[..]
Herinner me er aan dat ik niet in jouw Niva ga zitten
quote:@2cv:
Op maandag 28 juni 2010 17:17 schreef Paladijn het volgende:
Met de hoeveelheid onzin die je verkondigd is het geen wonder dat je geen PTA-mod meer bent
quote:Op maandag 12 juli 2010 21:43 schreef Alexxxxx het volgende:
mijn nagels zijn vandaag gelakt
quote:Op vrijdag 13 augustus 2010 21:19 schreef BaraCuda het volgende:
[..]
Je hebt nog gelijk ookm'n rechter tiet is verrekt
quote:Op vrijdag 13 augustus 2010 22:09 schreef Anne het volgende:
[..]
Nou en. Niemand komt zomaar aan mijn boobjens.
vorige deeltjes, statistieken, wie post er het meest enz enzquote:Op woensdag 9 februari 2011 21:33 schreef Barcaconia het volgende:
[..]
Heb jij soms zin in aids tijdens je chemokuur?
Op woensdag 9 februari 2011 21:37 schreef Alexxxxx het volgende:
[..]
nee,ik drink (vrijwel) geen alcohol.
http://www.piles.nl/fok/index.php?reeks_id=11
[ Bericht 4% gewijzigd door Duvel op 30-01-2013 10:05:25 ]
Niet alles wat geen nut heeft
heeft geen zin.
Stijn De Paepe
heeft geen zin.
Stijn De Paepe
Madeira drive bij de LBCVR 
[b]Op vrijdag 24 augustus 2007 09:50 schreef PretKroket het volgende:[/b]
dude? :') ik hoop voor je dat je niet serieus bent
Even voor jou: 2x1/2 = 1/2 x 1/2
[b]Neem mij niet tè serieus, dat doe ik zelf ook niet[/b]
dude? :') ik hoop voor je dat je niet serieus bent
Even voor jou: 2x1/2 = 1/2 x 1/2
[b]Neem mij niet tè serieus, dat doe ik zelf ook niet[/b]
Is dit de nieuwe SC?
You can sleep in a racecar, but you can't race a house!
Op zaterdag 12 november 2022 13:41 schreef knoopie het volgende:
Daar kan je wel om lachen, maar de motorolie vervangen is een stuk handiger in de badkuip dan op je vloerkleed in de woonkamer.
Op zaterdag 12 november 2022 13:41 schreef knoopie het volgende:
Daar kan je wel om lachen, maar de motorolie vervangen is een stuk handiger in de badkuip dan op je vloerkleed in de woonkamer.
goed topic, vooral die penn central
Als het niet kan zoals het moet, dan moet het maar zoals het kan
Een score van 67 % op "P-T-A" een matige OP? Mankeert je wat aan je ogen?
Niet alles wat geen nut heeft
heeft geen zin.
Stijn De Paepe
heeft geen zin.
Stijn De Paepe
Ik vind het een hele goede OPquote:Op dinsdag 29 januari 2013 21:32 schreef Duvel het volgende:
Een score van 67 % op "P-T-A" een matige OP? Mankeert je wat aan je ogen?
[b]Op vrijdag 24 augustus 2007 09:50 schreef PretKroket het volgende:[/b]
dude? :') ik hoop voor je dat je niet serieus bent
Even voor jou: 2x1/2 = 1/2 x 1/2
[b]Neem mij niet tè serieus, dat doe ik zelf ook niet[/b]
dude? :') ik hoop voor je dat je niet serieus bent
Even voor jou: 2x1/2 = 1/2 x 1/2
[b]Neem mij niet tè serieus, dat doe ik zelf ook niet[/b]
Alleen al die zooi die afhankelijk is van een dienstregeling mag er wel uit van mij.
[b]Op vrijdag 24 augustus 2007 09:50 schreef PretKroket het volgende:[/b]
dude? :') ik hoop voor je dat je niet serieus bent
Even voor jou: 2x1/2 = 1/2 x 1/2
[b]Neem mij niet tè serieus, dat doe ik zelf ook niet[/b]
dude? :') ik hoop voor je dat je niet serieus bent
Even voor jou: 2x1/2 = 1/2 x 1/2
[b]Neem mij niet tè serieus, dat doe ik zelf ook niet[/b]
Dienstregelingen zijn triviaal, zelf gezien de laatste weken.
Niet alles wat geen nut heeft
heeft geen zin.
Stijn De Paepe
heeft geen zin.
Stijn De Paepe
Nieuwe OP voor je:
=======
1779
=======
Einde OP
=======
1779
=======
Einde OP
You can sleep in a racecar, but you can't race a house!
Op zaterdag 12 november 2022 13:41 schreef knoopie het volgende:
Daar kan je wel om lachen, maar de motorolie vervangen is een stuk handiger in de badkuip dan op je vloerkleed in de woonkamer.
Op zaterdag 12 november 2022 13:41 schreef knoopie het volgende:
Daar kan je wel om lachen, maar de motorolie vervangen is een stuk handiger in de badkuip dan op je vloerkleed in de woonkamer.
De quotes waren trouwens verneukt en ik heb ze provisorisch teruggezet. Als een mod ze uit een oude op kan slopen, dan graag (met links en zo).
Niet alles wat geen nut heeft
heeft geen zin.
Stijn De Paepe
heeft geen zin.
Stijn De Paepe
Hoe kun je dat verprutsen?quote:Op dinsdag 29 januari 2013 21:45 schreef Duvel het volgende:
De quotes waren trouwens verneukt en ik heb ze provisorisch teruggezet. Als een mod ze uit een oude op kan slopen, dan graag (met links en zo).
You can sleep in a racecar, but you can't race a house!
Op zaterdag 12 november 2022 13:41 schreef knoopie het volgende:
Daar kan je wel om lachen, maar de motorolie vervangen is een stuk handiger in de badkuip dan op je vloerkleed in de woonkamer.
Op zaterdag 12 november 2022 13:41 schreef knoopie het volgende:
Daar kan je wel om lachen, maar de motorolie vervangen is een stuk handiger in de badkuip dan op je vloerkleed in de woonkamer.
Vraag dat aan Jitzzzzzze twee topics geleden?quote:
Niet alles wat geen nut heeft
heeft geen zin.
Stijn De Paepe
heeft geen zin.
Stijn De Paepe
Haynes: Rotate anticlockwise.
Translation: Clamp with molegrips (adjustable wrench) then beat repeatedly with hammer anticlockwise. You do know which way is anticlockwise, don't you?
Haynes: Should remove easily.
Translation: Will be corroded into place ... clamp with adjustable wrench then beat repeatedly with a hammer.
Haynes: This is a snug fit.
Translation: You will skin your knuckles! ... Clamp with adjustable wrench then beat repeatedly with hammer.
Haynes: This is a tight fit.
Translation: Not a hope in hell matey! ... Clamp with adjustable wrench then beat repeatedly with hammer.
Haynes: As described in Chapter 7...
Translation: That'll teach you not to read through before you start, now you are looking at scarey photos of the inside of a gearbox.
Haynes: Pry...
Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into...
Haynes: Undo...
Translation: Go buy a tin of WD40 (catering size).
Haynes: Ease ...
Translation: Apply superhuman strength to ...
Haynes: Retain tiny spring...
Translation: "Jeez what was that, it nearly had my eye out"!
Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb...
Translation: OK - that's the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to dig out the bayonet part and remaining glass shards.
Haynes: Lightly...
Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead are throbbing then re-check the manual because what you are doing now cannot be considered "lightly".
Haynes: Weekly checks...
Translation: If it isn't broken don't fix it!
Haynes: Routine maintenance...
Translation: If it isn't broken... it's about to be!
Haynes: One spanner rating (simple).
Translation: Your Mum could do this... so how did you manage to botch it up?
Haynes: Two spanner rating.
Translation: Now you may think that you can do this because two is a low, tiny, ikkle number... but you also thought that the wiring diagram was a map of the Tokyo underground (in fact that would have been more use to you).
Haynes: Three spanner rating (intermediate).
Translation: Make sure you won't need your car for a couple of days and that your AA cover includes Home Start.
Haynes: Four spanner rating.
Translation: You are seriously considering this aren't you, you pleb!
Haynes: Five spanner rating (expert).
Translation: OK - but don't expect us to ride it afterwards!!!
Translation #2: Don't ever carry your loved ones in it again and don't mention it to your insurance company.
Haynes: If not, you can fabricate your own special tool like this...
Translation: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
Haynes: Compress...
Translation: Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on, swear at, throw at the garage wall, then search for it in the dark corner of the garage whilst muttering "bugger" repeatedly under your breath.
Haynes: Inspect...
Translation: Squint at really hard and pretend you know what you are looking at, then declare in a loud knowing voice to your wife "Yep, as I thought, it's going to need a new one"!
Haynes: Carefully...
Translation: You are about to cut yourself!
Haynes: Retaining nut...
Translation: Yes, that's it, that big spherical blob of rust.
Haynes: Get an assistant...
Translation: Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you know.
Haynes: Turning the engine will be easier with the spark plugs removed.
Translation: However, starting the engine afterwards will be much harder. Once that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach has subsided, you can start to feel deeply ashamed as you gingerly refit the spark plugs.
Haynes: Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal.
Translation: But you swear in different places.
Haynes: Prise away plastic locating pegs...
Translation: Snap off...
Haynes: Using a suitable drift or pin-punch...
Translation: The biggest nail in your tool box isn't a suitable drift!
Haynes: Everyday toolkit
Translation: Ensure you have an RAC Card & Mobile Phone
Haynes: Apply moderate heat...
Translation: Placing your mouth near it and huffing isn't moderate heat.
Translation #2: Heat up until glowing red, if it still doesn't come undone use a hacksaw.
Haynes: Apply moderate heat...
Translation: Unless you have a blast furnace, don't bother. Clamp with adjustable wrench then beat repeatedly with hammer.
Haynes: Index
Translation: List of all the things in the book bar the thing you want to do!
Haynes: Remove oil filter using an oil filter chain wrench or length of bicycle chain.
Translation: Stick a screwdriver through it and beat handle repeatedly with a hammer.
Haynes: Replace old gasket with a new one.
Translation: I know I've got a tube of Krazy Glue around here somewhere.
Haynes: Grease well before refitting.
Translation: Spend an hour searching for your tub of grease before chancing upon a bottle of washing-up liquid (dish soap). Wipe some congealed washing up liquid from the dispenser nozzle and use that since it's got a similar texture and will probably get you to Halfords to buy some Castrol grease.
Haynes: See illustration for details
Translation: None of the illustrations notes will match the pictured exploded, numbered parts. The unit illustrated is from a previous or variant model. The actual location of the unit is never given.
The best one I encountered was how to change a brake sensor in a Ford Fiesta Popular Plus. The photo showing the location of the unit failed to mention the crucial detail of whether the item was located in the engine compartment or inside the car ..... and the helpful photo of what the thing looked like didn't give the reader any clues!
THE CONDENSED HAYNES MANUAL
All makes and models post-2000
For a modern car chock full of electronics, all that's in the Haynes Manual (aka "The Haynes Bumper Book of Jokes") is:
Routine Service: Take it to a main dealer and hand over a large amount of cash.
Advanced Service: Open the bonnet. Decide all that stuff is far too scary. Proceed
with routine service (see above).
HAYNES GUIDE TO TOOLS OF THE TRADE
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer is nowadays used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.
MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on boxes containing seats and motorcycle jackets.
ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling mounting holes just above the brake line that goes to the rear wheel.
PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.
HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
MOLE-GRIPS/ADJUSTABLE WRENCH: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
OXYACETELENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your garage on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside a brake-drum you're trying to get the bearing race out of.
WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or 1/2 socket you've been searching for for the last 15 minutes.
DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted part you were drying.
WIRE WHEEL: Cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar callouses in about the time it takes you to say, "F...."
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering car to the ground after you have installed your new front disk brake setup, trapping the jack handle firmly under the front wing (fender).
EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering a car upward off a hydraulic jack.
TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.
PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbour to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack.
SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot.
BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and is ten times harder than any known drill bit.
TIMING LIGHT: A stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease buildup.
TWO-TON HYDRAULIC ENGINE HOIST: A handy tool for testing the tensile strength of ground straps and brake lines you may have forgotten to disconnect.
CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large motor mount prying tool that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end without the handle.
BATTERY ELECTROLYTE TESTER: A handy tool for transferring sulfuric acid from a car battery to the inside of your toolbox after determining that your battery is dead as a doornail, just as you thought.
AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.
INSPECTION LIGHT: The mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin," which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate as 105-mm howitzer shells during the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.
PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be used, as the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads.
AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a fossil-fuel burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts last tightened 30 years ago by someone in Dagenham, and rounds them off.
PRY (CROW) BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses 1/2 inch too short.
Translation: Clamp with molegrips (adjustable wrench) then beat repeatedly with hammer anticlockwise. You do know which way is anticlockwise, don't you?
Haynes: Should remove easily.
Translation: Will be corroded into place ... clamp with adjustable wrench then beat repeatedly with a hammer.
Haynes: This is a snug fit.
Translation: You will skin your knuckles! ... Clamp with adjustable wrench then beat repeatedly with hammer.
Haynes: This is a tight fit.
Translation: Not a hope in hell matey! ... Clamp with adjustable wrench then beat repeatedly with hammer.
Haynes: As described in Chapter 7...
Translation: That'll teach you not to read through before you start, now you are looking at scarey photos of the inside of a gearbox.
Haynes: Pry...
Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into...
Haynes: Undo...
Translation: Go buy a tin of WD40 (catering size).
Haynes: Ease ...
Translation: Apply superhuman strength to ...
Haynes: Retain tiny spring...
Translation: "Jeez what was that, it nearly had my eye out"!
Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb...
Translation: OK - that's the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to dig out the bayonet part and remaining glass shards.
Haynes: Lightly...
Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead are throbbing then re-check the manual because what you are doing now cannot be considered "lightly".
Haynes: Weekly checks...
Translation: If it isn't broken don't fix it!
Haynes: Routine maintenance...
Translation: If it isn't broken... it's about to be!
Haynes: One spanner rating (simple).
Translation: Your Mum could do this... so how did you manage to botch it up?
Haynes: Two spanner rating.
Translation: Now you may think that you can do this because two is a low, tiny, ikkle number... but you also thought that the wiring diagram was a map of the Tokyo underground (in fact that would have been more use to you).
Haynes: Three spanner rating (intermediate).
Translation: Make sure you won't need your car for a couple of days and that your AA cover includes Home Start.
Haynes: Four spanner rating.
Translation: You are seriously considering this aren't you, you pleb!
Haynes: Five spanner rating (expert).
Translation: OK - but don't expect us to ride it afterwards!!!
Translation #2: Don't ever carry your loved ones in it again and don't mention it to your insurance company.
Haynes: If not, you can fabricate your own special tool like this...
Translation: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
Haynes: Compress...
Translation: Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on, swear at, throw at the garage wall, then search for it in the dark corner of the garage whilst muttering "bugger" repeatedly under your breath.
Haynes: Inspect...
Translation: Squint at really hard and pretend you know what you are looking at, then declare in a loud knowing voice to your wife "Yep, as I thought, it's going to need a new one"!
Haynes: Carefully...
Translation: You are about to cut yourself!
Haynes: Retaining nut...
Translation: Yes, that's it, that big spherical blob of rust.
Haynes: Get an assistant...
Translation: Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you know.
Haynes: Turning the engine will be easier with the spark plugs removed.
Translation: However, starting the engine afterwards will be much harder. Once that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach has subsided, you can start to feel deeply ashamed as you gingerly refit the spark plugs.
Haynes: Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal.
Translation: But you swear in different places.
Haynes: Prise away plastic locating pegs...
Translation: Snap off...
Haynes: Using a suitable drift or pin-punch...
Translation: The biggest nail in your tool box isn't a suitable drift!
Haynes: Everyday toolkit
Translation: Ensure you have an RAC Card & Mobile Phone
Haynes: Apply moderate heat...
Translation: Placing your mouth near it and huffing isn't moderate heat.
Translation #2: Heat up until glowing red, if it still doesn't come undone use a hacksaw.
Haynes: Apply moderate heat...
Translation: Unless you have a blast furnace, don't bother. Clamp with adjustable wrench then beat repeatedly with hammer.
Haynes: Index
Translation: List of all the things in the book bar the thing you want to do!
Haynes: Remove oil filter using an oil filter chain wrench or length of bicycle chain.
Translation: Stick a screwdriver through it and beat handle repeatedly with a hammer.
Haynes: Replace old gasket with a new one.
Translation: I know I've got a tube of Krazy Glue around here somewhere.
Haynes: Grease well before refitting.
Translation: Spend an hour searching for your tub of grease before chancing upon a bottle of washing-up liquid (dish soap). Wipe some congealed washing up liquid from the dispenser nozzle and use that since it's got a similar texture and will probably get you to Halfords to buy some Castrol grease.
Haynes: See illustration for details
Translation: None of the illustrations notes will match the pictured exploded, numbered parts. The unit illustrated is from a previous or variant model. The actual location of the unit is never given.
The best one I encountered was how to change a brake sensor in a Ford Fiesta Popular Plus. The photo showing the location of the unit failed to mention the crucial detail of whether the item was located in the engine compartment or inside the car ..... and the helpful photo of what the thing looked like didn't give the reader any clues!
THE CONDENSED HAYNES MANUAL
All makes and models post-2000
For a modern car chock full of electronics, all that's in the Haynes Manual (aka "The Haynes Bumper Book of Jokes") is:
Routine Service: Take it to a main dealer and hand over a large amount of cash.
Advanced Service: Open the bonnet. Decide all that stuff is far too scary. Proceed
with routine service (see above).
HAYNES GUIDE TO TOOLS OF THE TRADE
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer is nowadays used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.
MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on boxes containing seats and motorcycle jackets.
ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling mounting holes just above the brake line that goes to the rear wheel.
PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.
HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
MOLE-GRIPS/ADJUSTABLE WRENCH: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
OXYACETELENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your garage on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside a brake-drum you're trying to get the bearing race out of.
WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or 1/2 socket you've been searching for for the last 15 minutes.
DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted part you were drying.
WIRE WHEEL: Cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar callouses in about the time it takes you to say, "F...."
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering car to the ground after you have installed your new front disk brake setup, trapping the jack handle firmly under the front wing (fender).
EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering a car upward off a hydraulic jack.
TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.
PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbour to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack.
SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot.
BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and is ten times harder than any known drill bit.
TIMING LIGHT: A stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease buildup.
TWO-TON HYDRAULIC ENGINE HOIST: A handy tool for testing the tensile strength of ground straps and brake lines you may have forgotten to disconnect.
CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large motor mount prying tool that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end without the handle.
BATTERY ELECTROLYTE TESTER: A handy tool for transferring sulfuric acid from a car battery to the inside of your toolbox after determining that your battery is dead as a doornail, just as you thought.
AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.
INSPECTION LIGHT: The mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin," which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate as 105-mm howitzer shells during the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.
PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be used, as the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads.
AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a fossil-fuel burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts last tightened 30 years ago by someone in Dagenham, and rounds them off.
PRY (CROW) BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses 1/2 inch too short.
Als het niet kan zoals het moet, dan moet het maar zoals het kan
Ah, newbe to the maxxxx.quote:Op dinsdag 29 januari 2013 21:49 schreef Duvel het volgende:
[..]
Vraag dat aan Jitzzzzzze twee topics geleden?
You can sleep in a racecar, but you can't race a house!
Op zaterdag 12 november 2022 13:41 schreef knoopie het volgende:
Daar kan je wel om lachen, maar de motorolie vervangen is een stuk handiger in de badkuip dan op je vloerkleed in de woonkamer.
Op zaterdag 12 november 2022 13:41 schreef knoopie het volgende:
Daar kan je wel om lachen, maar de motorolie vervangen is een stuk handiger in de badkuip dan op je vloerkleed in de woonkamer.
Aardig oud die Haynes hulpvertaling 
You can sleep in a racecar, but you can't race a house!
Op zaterdag 12 november 2022 13:41 schreef knoopie het volgende:
Daar kan je wel om lachen, maar de motorolie vervangen is een stuk handiger in de badkuip dan op je vloerkleed in de woonkamer.
Op zaterdag 12 november 2022 13:41 schreef knoopie het volgende:
Daar kan je wel om lachen, maar de motorolie vervangen is een stuk handiger in de badkuip dan op je vloerkleed in de woonkamer.
jep maar voor de newbies misschien nog wel bruikbaarquote:
Als het niet kan zoals het moet, dan moet het maar zoals het kan
Een "hoe druk ik op de open-een-nieuw-deel-knop" handleiding zou een beter begin zijnquote:
[..]
jep maar voor de newbies misschien nog wel bruikbaar
You can sleep in a racecar, but you can't race a house!
Op zaterdag 12 november 2022 13:41 schreef knoopie het volgende:
Daar kan je wel om lachen, maar de motorolie vervangen is een stuk handiger in de badkuip dan op je vloerkleed in de woonkamer.
Op zaterdag 12 november 2022 13:41 schreef knoopie het volgende:
Daar kan je wel om lachen, maar de motorolie vervangen is een stuk handiger in de badkuip dan op je vloerkleed in de woonkamer.
daar kunnen ze beter gewoon van af blijven, lijkt mij het meest verstandigquote:
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Een "hoe druk ik op de open-een-nieuw-deel-knop" handleiding zou een beter begin zijn
Als het niet kan zoals het moet, dan moet het maar zoals het kan
Met al die hihihaha domovla je-had-erbij-moeten-zijn onderbroekenlol incrowdgrappen 