De dag is dan ook nog niet voorbij he, dus trap den duvel niet op zijnen staartquote:
*smeert TripleS in met wat parfumolie*quote:
If i ruled the world.......quote:Op zaterdag 21 mei 2011 08:08 schreef MisterSqueaky het volgende:
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*smeert TripleS in met wat parfumolie*
Gefeliciteerd ! Nu ben ook JIJ een messias ! TripleS Christus !
Bronquote:Countdown to Armageddon: Maybe the world will end friday night (or sunday morning)
And there was Harold Camping, the man behind the end of the world, right in the middle of last night's cable lineup, on the way from the ABC station that had had the Grizzlies-Thunder game up to TNT, which had the Bulls and Heat. Right before a swath of undifferentiated Community Programming: "Open Forum."
All through the decades, late at night on the car radio, I'd imagined Harold Camping fielding phone calls in a small, barren studio somewhere, a pool of light in the sleeping darkness, leaning into a ponderous old-time microphone. Instead here he was, shriveled as life, clutching each arm of an armchair, in what looked like a wood-paneled den, with a two-camera setup. The lighting was strong and even; the microphone out of view. The background decor included a small potted tree from one angle, and a conch shell from the other.
Camping's Bible, thumbed into floppiness, lay in his lap. According to that Bible, as he reads it, the Rapture is coming on Saturday. He has gotten the world's attention, however cynically that attention may be given. It is a thing to talk about that everyone assumes won't happen, like Donald Trump's presidential campaign. Saturday: the end of the world. Bulls in two, then.
Even before these countdown days, "Open Forum" was always noticeably open, allowing callers a moment to tell Camping he's a heretic, a crank, a fool—or to try dragging him toward an even more unhinged and impenetrable engagement with the biblical text than his own. Last night, someone phoned up and asked him if he was on crack cocaine. He fielded the question as if it were any other factual matter. He had never taken any mind-altering drugs at all, he said. Then he reared back his head in his standard wince-smile and thanked the caller and said "shall-we-take-our-next-caller-please."
Someone else had a thornier question: what about the time zones? The whole concept of Judgment Day would seem to be based on a flat-earth cosmology, where a single day has a single boundary. The Camping position on the timing is not totally clear—by one account, the Rapture, like the New Year, is supposed to make a circuit of the globe, time zone by time zone. A new batch of the saved will ascend as each set of clocks strikes 6 p.m. On TV this afternoon, though, Camping (now at a podium, before a red curtain) was fudging a little: "maybe" we can even know the hour, he said.
Last night's caller was concerned that an omnipresent Rapture might occur before some people's calendars had even turned for the 21st. Camping's answer was convoluted and inconclusive; it had something to do with the notion that "days" in the Bible referred to the daylight hours particularly. For reference, the sun will rise on Jerusalem at 5:39, local time, on Saturday morning—which will be 10:39 on Friday night on the East Coast of the United States. (Crunch time in the Bulls-Heat game.)
Those details don't matter. Nobody's going to be mocking Harold Camping if the Rapture arrives early. The pressing question is how long May 21 will last. Camping will not be guaranteed wrong until—unless—the final minute of May 21 expires from the last possible place on the globe.
That last place appears to be Samoa. Earlier this month, the island nation declared that it would jump the International Date Line at the end of 2011. December 31 will be deleted, and Samoa will move straight into 2012 on the leading edge of January 1.
Assuming, that is, that January 1 arrives at all.
Will it? If you're on the East Coast, 11:59:59 p.m. in Samoa—the last tick of May 21—will fall at 6:59:59 a.m. on Sunday, May 22. If your clock hits 7 a.m., we'll just have to keep on living.
en stukken bangerquote:Op zaterdag 21 mei 2011 08:47 schreef livelink het volgende:
Die Harold Camping is al 89 jaar he. Ik vermoed dat hij zijn persoonlijke Dag des Oordeels heeft verward met die van de mensheid. Als mensen ouder worden zijn ze ook niet meer zo scherp natuurlijk.
Als we allemaal gaan wie legt ons dan in onze kist? En wie doet de begrafenis/crematie? Of blijven we gewoon met zijn allen liggen rotten (geen wonder dat de wereld dan vergaat)? Of zijn we gewoon *poef* in 1 x in de hel?quote:Op zaterdag 21 mei 2011 00:19 schreef knokkels het volgende:
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maar jij ligt dan ook al in je kist
(sorry, fout grapje.. ik weet het)
Het is idd een mooie dag om te gaanquote:Op zaterdag 21 mei 2011 09:41 schreef DaMart het volgende:
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O, dus dan kan ik nog even rustig van het mooie weer genieten vandaag!.
Naar de markt, lekker vissie eten jaquote:Op zaterdag 21 mei 2011 09:42 schreef StateOfMind het volgende:
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Het is idd een mooie dag om te gaan
Gaan ook met hun tijd meequote:Op vrijdag 20 mei 2011 23:21 schreef TLC het volgende:
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Ik wist niet dat ze daar aangesloten zijn met het Internet
Deze urban legend is er zowel in de christelijke vorm als in de islam vorm.quote:Op zaterdag 21 mei 2011 12:37 schreef Janena het volgende:
In dit kader vind ik onderstaand stukje wel grappig (ik ben zelf overigens niet christelijk.....wel spiritueel):
mmmmmmmm ja... daar zeg je zoiets...quote:Op zaterdag 21 mei 2011 09:42 schreef Wazigwijfke het volgende:
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Als we allemaal gaan wie legt ons dan in onze kist? En wie doet de begrafenis/crematie? Of blijven we gewoon met zijn allen liggen rotten (geen wonder dat de wereld dan vergaat)? Of zijn we gewoon *poef* in 1 x in de hel?
Wat een vragen man!
Eén ding scheelt, als we gaan, gaan we met zijn allen!!
Grappig stuk idd.quote:Op zaterdag 21 mei 2011 12:37 schreef Janena het volgende:
In dit kader vind ik onderstaand stukje wel grappig (ik ben zelf overigens niet christelijk.....wel spiritueel):
[...]
Het kan zelfs zonder te scannenquote:Op zaterdag 21 mei 2011 13:05 schreef Doler12 het volgende:
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[ afbeelding ]
De brein van de professor!
De originele versie was ietsje beter. Eens kijken of ik die erbij kan vissenquote:Op zaterdag 21 mei 2011 13:12 schreef phreaks het volgende:
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Grappig stuk idd.
Alleen jammer dat de student de professor onderuit haalt d.m.v. dubbelzinnigheid, door context uit zijn verband te rukken. Op die manier kan je iedereen onderuit halen. Uiteindelijk zegt de student dus niets zinnigs, en denkt de student juist zelf zwart-wit, zowel in het begin als aan het einde.
quote:"LET ME EXPLAIN THE problem science has with Jesus Christ." The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand. "You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"
"Yes, sir."
"So you believe in God?"
"Absolutely."
"Is God good?"
"Sure! God's good."
"Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"
"Yes."
"Are you good or evil?"
"The Bible says I'm evil."
The professor grins knowingly. "Ahh! THE BIBLE!" He considers for a moment. "Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help them? Would you try?"
"Yes sir, I would."
"So you're good...!"
"I wouldn't say that."
"Why not say that? You would help a sick and maimed person if you could... in fact most of us would if we could... God doesn't."
No answer.
"He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?" No answer.
The elderly man is sympathetic. "No, you can't, can you?" He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax. In philosophy, you have to go easy with the new ones. "Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?"
"Er... Yes."
"Is Satan good?"
"No."
"Where does Satan come from?"
The student falters. "From... God..."
"That's right. God made Satan, didn't he?" The elderly man runs his bony fingers through his thinning hair and turns to the smirking, student audience. "I think we're going to have a lot of fun this semester, ladies and gentlemen." He turns back to the Christian. "Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?"
"Yes, sir."
"Evil's everywhere, isn't it? Did God make everything?"
"Yes."
"Who created evil?"
No answer.
"Is there sickness in this world? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All the terrible things - do they exist in this world?"
The student squirms on his feet. "Yes."
"Who created them?"
No answer.
The professor suddenly shouts at his student. "WHO CREATED THEM? TELL ME, PLEASE!" The professor closes in for the kill and climbs into the Christian's face. In a still small voice: "God created all evil, didn't He, son?"
No answer.
The student tries to hold the steady, experienced gaze and fails.
Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace the front of the classroom like an aging panther. The class is mesmerized. "Tell me," he continues, "How is it that this God is good if He created all evil throughout all time?"
The professor swishes his arms around to encompass the wickedness of the world. "All the hatred, the brutality, all the pain, all the torture, all the death and ugliness and all the suffering created by this good God is all over the world, isn't it, young man?"
No answer.
"Don't you see it all over the place? Huh?" Pause. "Don't you?" The professor leans into the student's face again and whispers,
"Is God good?"
No answer..
"Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?"
The student's voice betrays him and cracks. "Yes, professor. I do."
The old man shakes his head sadly. "Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen your Jesus?"
"No, sir. I've never seen Him."
"Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?"
"No, sir. I have not."
"Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus... in fact, do you have any sensory perception of your God whatsoever?"
No answer.
"Answer me, please."
"No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't."
"You're AFRAID... you haven't?"
"No, sir."
"Yet you still believe in him?"
"...yes..."
"That takes FAITH!" The professor smiles sagely at the underling. "According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son? Where is your God now?"
The student doesn't answer.
"Sit down, please."
The Christian sits...Defeated. Another Christian raises his hand. "Professor, may I address the class?"
The professor turns and smiles. "Ah, another Christian in the vanguard! Come, come, young man. Speak some proper wisdom to the gathering."
The Christian looks around the room. "Some interesting points you are making, sir. Now I've got a question for you. Is there such thing as heat?"
"Yes," the professor replies. "There's heat."
"Is there such a thing as cold?"
"Yes, son, there's cold too."
"No, sir, there isn't."
The professor's grin freezes. The room suddenly goes very cold. The second Christian continues. "You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that.
"There is no such thing as cold, otherwise we would be able to go colder than 458 - You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it."
Silence.
A pin drops somewhere in the classroom.
"Is there such a thing as darkness, professor?"
"That's a dumb question, son. What is night if it isn't darkness? What are you getting at...?"
"So you say there is such a thing as darkness?"
"Yes..."
"You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something, it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word. In reality, Darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker and give me a jar of it. Can you...give me a jar of darker darkness, professor?"
Despite himself, the professor smiles at the young effrontery before him. This will indeed be a good semester. "Would you mind telling us what your point is, young man?"
"Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with and so your conclusion must be in error...."
The professor goes toxic. "Flawed...? How dare you...!"
"Sir, may I explain what I mean?" The class is all ears.
"Explain... oh, explain..." The professor makes an admirable effort to regain control. Suddenly he is affability itself. He waves his hand to silence the class, for the student to continue.
"You are working on the premise of duality," the Christian explains. "That for example there is life and then here's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science cannot even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism but has never seen, much less fully understood them. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, merely the absence of it."
The young man holds up a newspaper he takes from the desk of a neighbor who has been reading it. "Here is one of the most disgusting tabloids this country hosts, professor. Is there such a thing as immorality?"
"Of course there is, now look..."
"Wrong again, sir. You see, immorality is merely the absence of morality. Is there such thing as injustice? No. Injustice is the absence of justice. Is there such a thing as evil?" The Christian pauses.
"Isn't evil the absence of good?"
The professor's face has turned an alarming color. He is so angry he is temporarily speechless. The Christian continues. "If there is evil in the world, professor, and we all agree there is, then God, if he exists, must be accomplishing a work through the agency of evil. What is that work, God is accomplishing? The Bible tells us it is to see if each one of us will, of our own free will, choose good over evil."
The professor bridles. "As a philosophical scientist, I don't vie this matter as having anything to do with any choice; as a realist, I absolutely do not recognize the concept of God or any other theological factor as being part of the world equation because God is not observable."
"I would have thought that the absence of God's moral code in this world is probably one of the most observable phenomena going," the Christian replies. "Newspapers make billions of dollars reporting it every week! Tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?"
"If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do."
"Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?"
The professor makes a sucking sound with his teeth and gives his student a silent, stony stare.
"Professor. Since no-one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a priest?"
"I'll overlook your impudence in the light of our philosophical discussion. Now, have you quite finished?" the professor hisses.
"So you don't accept God's moral code to do what is righteous?"
"I believe in what is - that's science!"
"Ahh! SCIENCE!" the student's face spits into a grin. "Sir, you rightly state that science is the study of observed phenomena. Science too is a premise which is flawed..."
"SCIENCE IS FLAWED..?" the professor splutters.
The class is in uproar. The Christian remains standing until the commotion has subsided. "To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, may I give you an example of what I mean?"
The professor wisely keeps silent. The Christian looks around the room.
"Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?"
The class breaks out in laughter. The Christian points towards his elderly, crumbling tutor. "Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain...felt the professor's brain, touched or smelt the professor's brain?" No one appears to have done so.
The Christian shakes his head sadly.
"It appears no one here has had any sensory perception of the professor's brain whatsoever. Well, according to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says the professor has no brain."
The class is in chaos. The Christian sits...
Because that is what a chair is for.
Voor jou zal jezus verschijnen in de vorm van, jawel, firefox.quote:Op zaterdag 21 mei 2011 18:00 schreef miaeak het volgende:
Wow... Mijn Explorer crashte om precies 18:00!!!
Wat een kansloze discussie zeg.quote:Op zaterdag 21 mei 2011 12:37 schreef Janena het volgende:
In dit kader vind ik onderstaand stukje wel grappig (ik ben zelf overigens niet christelijk.....wel spiritueel):
EEN INTERESSANTE CONVERSATIE
Een atheïstische professor in de wijsbegeerte sprak tot zijn klas over het probleem dat de wetenschap heeft met God, de almachtige. Hij vroeg een van zijn christelijke studenten om op te staan en naar voren te komen.
Professor : Ben jij een christen?
Student : ja meneer.
Professor : Dus je gelooft in GOD ?
Student : Absoluut, meneer.
Professor : Is GOD goed ?
Student : Zeker.
Professor : Is GOD ALMACHTIG ?
Student : ja.
Professor : Mijn broer is gestorven aan kanker terwijl hij GOD gebeden had hem te genezen.
De meesten van ons zouden anderen die ziek zijn helpen. Maar GOD deed dat niet. Is GOD dan wel goed geweest
voor hem? Hmm?
(De student was stil )
Professor : Daar heb je geen antwoord op, he? Laten we eens opnieuw beginnen, jongeman. Is GOD goed?
Student : ja.
Professor : Is Satan goed ?
Student : nee.
Professor : Waar komt Satan vandaan ?
Student : Van . . . GOD .. ...
Professor : Dat is juist. Zeg eens, is er kwaad in deze wereld?
Student : ja.
Professor : Kwaad is overal, niet ? En GOD heeft alles gemaakt, Correct?
Student : ja.
Professor : Wie heeft het kwaad gecreëerd ?
(Student geeft geen antwoord)
Professor : Is er ziekte? Immoraliteit? Haat? Lelijkheid? Al deze dingen bestaan in de wereld, toch?
Student : ja, meneer.
Professor : Zeg eens, wie heeft dat allemaal geschapen?
(Student had geen antwoord)
Professor : De wetenschap zegt dat we 5 zintuigen hebben waarmee we de wereld om ons heen identificeren en waarnemen. Zeg
eens . .. Heb jij ooit GOD gezien?
Student : nee, meneer.
Professor : Zeg eens . .. Heb jij ooit je GOD gehoord?
Student : nee, meneer.
Professor : Heb jij ooit GOD gevoeld, aangeraakt, geroken of geproefd? Heb je ooit enige sensuele perceptie van GOD in welke vorm
dat ook gehad?
Student : nee, meneer. Ik ben bang van niet.
Professor : Toch geloof je nog steeds HEM?
Student : ja.
Professor : Volgens empirische, testbare, aantoonbare protocol, zegt de wetenschap dat jouw GOD niet bestaat. Wat heb je daarop
te zeggen?
Student : Niets. Ik heb slechts mijn Vertrouwen.
Professor : ja,Vertrouwen . En dat is het probleem dat de wetenschap heeft. . . . .
Student : Professor, is er zoiets als warmte?
Professor : ja.
Student : En is er zoiets als koude?
Professor : ja.
Student : nee, meneer. Dat is er niet.
(Het werd erg stil in de klas)
Student : Professor, je kan warmte hebben, gematigde warmte, intense warmte, zelfs hitte, gloeiend heet, maar ook een heel klein beetje warmte. Maar we hebben niet zoiets als koude. Wanneer we 273 °C onder nul, het absolute nulpunt bereiken, is er geen warmte meer, maar verder dan dat kunnen we niet gaan. Er is niet zoiets als koude. Het woord beschrijft slechts de afwezigheid van warmte. We kunnen koude niet meten. Warmte is energie. Koude is niet het tegenovergestelde van warmte, meneer, het is alleen de afwezigheid ervan.
(Je kon een speld horen vallen)
Student : Hoe zit het met donker, Professor? Is er zoiets als donker?
Professor : ja. Wat is de nacht anders als het niet donker is?
Student : U heeft het verkeerd, meneer. Donker is alleen de afwezigheid van iets. Er is flauw licht, normaal licht, fel licht, flits licht, helder licht. Maar als er geen licht is dan is er niets en dat noemen we donker, toch? Als donker zou bestaan, zouden we donker nog donkerder kunnen maken, toch?
Professor : En wat wil je daarmee zeggen, jongeman?
Student : Meneer, mijn punt is dat uw filosofische uitgangspunt onjuist is.
Professor : Onjuist? Kan je dat uitleggen?
Student : Meneer u gebruikt het uitgangspunt van dualiteit. U stelt dat er leven is dat er dood is, dat er een goede god en een slechte god is. U beziet het concept van GOD als iets eindigs, als iets dat we kunnen meten. Meneer, de wetenschap kan niet eens verklaren wat een gedachte is. Wij weten dat de hersenen daarvoor elektriciteit en magnetisme gebruiken, maar het is nog nooit gezien en nog veel minder begrepen.
Wanneer u de dood beschouwt als het tegenovergestelde van leven dan gaat u eraan voorbij dat de dood niet zelfstandig als iets kan bestaan zonder leven. De dood is niet het tegenovergestelde van leven, maar alleen de afwezigheid ervan.
Vertel eens, Professor, leert u uw studenten dat zij zijn geëvolueerd van een aap?
Professor : Wanneer je refereert aan het natuurlijke evolutieproces, ja zeker.
Student : Heeft u ooit evolutie geobserveerd met uw eigen ogen?
(De professor schudde zijn hoofd met een glimlach terwijl hij zich begon te realiseren waar de discussie heenging)
Student : Aangezien nog nooit ook maar iemand het evolutieproces in werking heeft kunnen zien en het zelfs niet bewezen kan worden dat het een voortgaand proces is, is het daarom niet zo. professor, dat u ons slechts uw mening probeert te onderwijzen? Bent u niet in plaats van een professor in de wetenschap eigenlijk een predikant?
(De klas ging even plat )
Student : Is er iemand in the klas die ooit het brein van de professor heeft gezien?
(De klas bulderde van het lachen )
Student : Is er iemand die ooit het brein van de professor heeft gehoord, gevoeld, aangeraakt, geroken, geproefd? . . . Niemand lijkt dat ooit gedaan te hebben. Dus, volgens het empirisch, testbare, aantoonbare protocol, zegt de wetenschap, professor, dat u geen brein heeft. Met alle respect, meneer, maar hoe kunnen we geloven dat het juist is wat u ons onderwijst?
(De klas was stil. De professor staarde de student aan, zijn gezicht ondoorgrondelijk )
Professor : Ik denk dat je daar maar op moet vertrouwen, jongeman.
Student : Dat is het meneer . . . Exact !
De band tussen de mens en GOD is vertrouwen.
Dat is alles dat de dingen in leven houdt en in beweging..
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