quote:Today, this really attractive woman that I've known for years told me that when I can have sex with her standing up, she'll have sex with me. I'm confined to a wheelchair. FML
Die vent kan niet eens rekenenquote:Op donderdag 23 april 2009 20:26 schreef IkkuhNL2 het volgende:
Today, I bought a $1.09 burrito from taco bell with my debit card, unfortunately my overdraft fee was $25. I spent $26.01 on a burrito. FML
quote:Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML
quote:Today, after a late night at the bars, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response, "I live here." FML
quote:Today, my fiance told me that he no longer loves me, that he still has feelings for an ex. The wedding is off and he needs the ring back to give to the right woman. FML
quote:Today, my friend and I wanted to get some alcohol (we're under 21). We went to a liquor store and asked a random guy to go in and buy us some vodka. After giving him $20, he said he had to go turn off his car, then he'd get us the drinks. He got in his car and drove off, with my $20. FML
rofl wtf, die is echt slechtquote:Op donderdag 23 april 2009 17:52 schreef powerlite het volgende:
Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I proceeded to pee on myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML
quote:Today, I got dressed in what I thought was a really adorable outfit. I had a cute pink skirt on, a white tank top and silver strappy sandal heels. On my way to the mall a car pulls over and this guy asks me how much for three hours. FML
quote:Today, me and my bootie-call were doing the dirty on the lower bunk bed while his roommate was passed out drunk on top. Right when we were about to finish, I said "this is so bad, we're probably going to wake up your roommate." From the top bunk we heard..."yup." FML
quote:Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML
quote:Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML
quote:Today, at my grandmothers funeral I tired my hardest not to cry, only allowing tears to fall and not making any noise, to be respectful at her funeral. The next day my mother tells my father that I didn't cry, which obviously meant that I didn't love my grandmother and had no soul. FML
Mietje?quote:Op donderdag 23 april 2009 23:10 schreef Caspian het volgende:
Er zitten ook een heleboel mietjes tussen.
"Boehoe, mijn grootmoeder zei dat een sporter een 'nice package' had. M'n grootmoeder praatte over sex tegen mij. Fuck my life!"![]()
(Ik kon de exacte quote niet terugvinden, maar er staan er meer van dat soort mietjes tussen.)
quote:Today, I came home from a two-week overseas business trip. My wife was at work, but she came home for lunch. When she came in, she brushed right past me to hug and talk to her dog. When I mentioned it, she said, "But I haven't seen him all day!" FML
quote:Today, I was on the London underground. My feet were aching, so I really wanted a seat. A mother and child got off the train and I heard her say, 'why didn't you wait?' Going to sit down I wondered what he was supposed to wait for, then proceeded to sit in his (still warm) piss. FML
Ik zou me ongemakkelijk voelen, en er zeker niet blij mee zijn, maar om dat nou als een "Fuck my life"-waardig moment te zien. Nee.quote:Op zondag 26 april 2009 14:43 schreef Mefistoteles het volgende:
[..]
Mietje?
Waarschijnlijk was dat in een kampergezelschap maar ik zou dat toch wel heel erg vinden als m'n oma dat zou zeggen.
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