Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Chuck Norris created God by snapping his fingers.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.
Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and accidentally ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.
Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once bench-pressed the entire state of Ohio, and all of its residents.
Chuck Norris can hold his breathe for nine years.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.
[ Bericht 93% gewijzigd door pc-fr34k op 08-06-2006 01:40:02 ]
Wij zijn artificial intelligence. Overclock jezelf maar hou jezelf wel goed koel.Ik ben gematigd verslaafd aan drugs-ik kan stoppen voor een periode of altijd-maar altijd is zo lang-leef in zonde met mate(n)
http://pc-fr34k.hyves.nl/blog/