Beauty and the nerd

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One day I was looking at my AIM buddy list window, and I saw quite the strange ad. First, a picture of an attractive woman. Then, a plus sign. A picture of a geek-like man. An equal sign. "Beauty and the Geek: Ashton's Kutcher ultimate social experiment." Social experiment? It seems now Kutcher sees himself as sort of a 19th century aristocrat, bet by other such styled aristocrats to take common peasant folk and groom them to be prim and proper, no matter the wants of the commoners themselves. Only with punking being the order of the day instead of opera tunes and slight homosexual undertones. This overall gives pretensions to Ashton Kutcher's
oeuvre, and I don't want to even think about Punk'd actually being a multi-layered social satire. My head may implode. But yet it still interested me to the point one would be interested in a natural disaster or a Patrick Swayze movie.

Ashton Kutcher is now trying to add something to his repetoire of portrayals (such as the ever-popular annoying idiot from the 1970's and annoying idiot in the present roles), namely the title of 'executive producer', which seems to not mean anything these days. And so
Beauty and the Geek was born, a reality program that pairs up bimbo women and social retard men with interests in "Star Trek" and possibly "Babylon 5". As a self-proclaimed geek, this does not get my approval. There's no need to trot out tired old stereotypes of 'attractive women don't know anything!' and 'geeks couldn't talk their way out of a paper bag'. Not surprisingly, the first stereotype is represented in full, but the second is not. One might ask, "Why is that unexpected?" See, WB is a network for teenagers [and the occasional redneck] and teens don't want to see real nerds. They want to see emo fake versions of geeks. If you want real social losers, go to a comic book store, not the WB.

The show begins with excerpts from the casting tapes. It quickly establishes that the geeks do not have social skills, and in Richard's case, sanity. The beauties, on the other hand, are established to be social but not a clue as to where Russia is or how much a silver <strong>dollar </strong>is worth. Yeah, this, this is going to be a thing to remember. The announcer stresses that this isn't a 'dating show, it's a social experiment'. So instead of forcing people to couple on network TV, you're performing experiments on them. Way to raise the bar, WB!

The people who populate this magical house of mystery are no less cartoon characters than Bugs Bunny or Daffy Duck. In fact, those two probably have more development and personality than all of these "people" combined. The beauties are complete idiots and the geeks range from being the usual greasy haired tie-wearing spazzes one would find at an unsuccessful record store, there's also...Richard, who may in fact be the literal reincarnation of Rick Moranis.

As the show begins, we're introduced to our loveable cast members

Brad, whose 'Mensa Member' by-line proves that he'll be one of those Mensa Members whose list of accomplishments begins with, "Well, I'm a member of MENSA"


Shawn is also a member of MENSA, but he decides that a fake job is better for his by-line than the lack of a job


Chuck is a med student, another stalwart occupation for people who never get anywhere in life. He does say something related to what he's interested in, other than touting his MENSA credentials.


Joe: "Yes, I am a virgin. No, I'm not saving myself for anyone


Eric says just now knows that it's impossible to create the perfect woman. You...you should really keep stuff like that to yourself, Eric.


Do I even NEED a sarcastic remark for this guy?


Richard: half human, half lawn gnome, all geek.

The girls are not nearly as entertaining in their idiocy, but their jobs do range from 'sorority girl' to 'beer spokesmodel' to 'dancer' to 'cocktail waitress' to 'aspiring fashion expert' to 'lingerie model'. The last of those claims she has an IQ of 500, but I somewhat doubt that.
The stated goal of the show or 'social experiment' as it's to be called, is for the geeks to give knowledge to the beauties and the beauties to...um...teach the geeks how to apply lipstick? Since there are 7 of each, they're paired up and whoever goes through the biggest 'change' gets $250,000.
$250,000? Most of these guys could get that much in a year working an important tech job, and most of the girls could rack up that much through prostitution. But still, the cast thinks that's a sizeable amount; Bill, for example, would buy the General Lee from "Dukes of Hazzard" with it.

The host then explains to each camp that one of them has to go to the other camp and introduce themselves, and then wait for someone else to come out and be their partner. Chuck pairs up with some girl named Caitilin and MENSA MEMBER Brad goes with the NBA dancer. Richard the scary spastic pervert partners with 'sorority girl' Mindi. The rest of 'em are paired together, vapid beauty to emotional retard. One
of the girls wants to show that "pretty girls are just like not-so-pretty girls". Other than physical appearance
and the mindset that stems from physical appearance, they're exactly alike! The entire process and introductions takes up about 15 minutes. Next, the host gives the announcement that their first challenge is fifth grade knowledge for the girls, and dancing for the guys. I would say that knowing how many planets comprise our Solar System is easier than effectively pulling off the electric slide, but that's just me. Whoever wins gets 'immunity' and will be able to send another pair to the ELIMINATION ROOM. If I ever own my own home, I'd like an elimination room, or at least a rumpus room.
It'd be filled with instruments of death and a pool table. Med student Chuck gets a bloody nose after the announcement. Come on, man. Don't be such a
flagrant stereotype only 15 minutes into the program!
Some quotes from the cramming portion of the program:

[upon learning that D-Day was in 1942] "But in 1942, Columbus sailed the ocean blue!"
"Thailand's in Korea, right?"
"Nickel is a hard to spell word"
"Ah-more-ee?" "You should know what it is, there's one in the room here" "Oh, an armoire!"

The dancing part of the cramming...it'd be a disservice to it to describe it here. You really have to see it for yourself to take in all the horrific glory that comprises it.

For those interested on if they are in fact smarter than a 5th grader or even as smart as a 5th grader, here are the questions from the first challenge and the answers the ladies gave.

Spell tattoo." "Tatoo"
"How many states make up the United States?" "50"
"What state is east of West Virginia?" "Massachusetts"
"Which state is further south: North Carolina or South Dakota?" "South Dakota"
"Name two of the Great Lakes" "Lake Michigan and Lake Erie"
"The D.C. in Washington D.C. stands for what?" "District of Columbia"
"Name three states with the word 'New' in them" "New Mexico..."
"Spell calendar" "Calender"
"What is the state capital of New England" "I don't know"
"The abbreviation IA is the abbreviation of what state?" "Iowa"
I have no idea what was more amusing: the girls' excuses for getting incredibly easy questions wrong ("Tattoo is a tricky word!") ("States aren't important to me") ("Calender is how I would've typed it on the computer and then I would've hit spellcheck") or their guy counterparts' pained reactions to their incredibly stupid answers. Mindi and Richard end up winning the immunity with the tough question of IA.

The dance competition is probably where the producers of the show would get drunk in order for it not to sink into their brains. Eric's dance routine lasts 5 seconds, Chuck gets a bloody nose again, and Richard the spaz may be the most endearingly annoying stereotype since American Idol's William Hung. What we should overall learn from this is that despite what mc chris might say, white kids do not love hip-hop. The audience votes for Richard and Mindi. It's not hard to explain: obviously the audience is a sadistic lot who loves seeing idiots making fools of themselves. Isn't that what reality TV is made for? Hot tub chicanery follows, another reality TV staple.

One of the funny things this show tries to do is suspense, like we're supposed to get worried who might get eliminated or excited to find out who gets the immunity. The problem is that no one should really care and the fast editing is jarring more than 'suspenseful'. We've known these people a scant 30 minutes, and other than uber-loser Richard and Adam Sessler look-a-like Joe, no one really stands out.

Cheryl & Eric and Erika & Joe are slated for elimination in the EXTREME ELIMINATION ROOM OF DEATH. I was initially disappointed with the room itself; it doesn't have any implements of destruction or even a blunt knife. It's just a big room with pots. We're treated to a trivia competition in the ELIMINATION ROOM!!!! wherein the beauties are asked tough history questions like 'who's on the one dollar bill' and 'who's the current Prime Minister of Britain'. When asked who was the President during the Civil War, one of the girls answered "Hoover". When informed that Hoover was not President for another, oh, 70 years and it was actually Lincoln, girl responds with "Oh yeah! D-day!". Though this does not cause me to disbelieve the existence of God, it's definitely designed as a test of faith. Another quiz featured questions on astronomy. They at least knew that the Earth goes around the Sun 1 time per year, and that Halley's Comet is a comet, but they did not know what planet was named after the Roman Goddess of Love and Beauty. One girl guessed "Jupiter". Jupiter, king of the Gods...and Goddess of Love and Beauty. Maybe it's like Ranma 1/2, where Jupiter becomes Venus after an extreme temperature change and Mars likewise becomes a panda.

Eric and Cheryl are eliminated, which would maybe mean something if we had gotten to know them to any degree. Eric ends the show by saying "everyone's just people, man". I guess it took thousands upon thousands upon thousands for Kutcher and company to realize that people are in fact people. Future episodes promise Richard acting more like an idiot, a love tryst between Erika and Brad, and MORE ELIMINATION!!!!. Needless to say, I won't be watching.

In a word? Garbage.

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Op dinsdag 3 januari 2006 11:55 schreef Mr._T-Rex het volgende:
Ow, en een leuk artikel over iemand die het niet zo leuk vond
[..]

_bron

Ik vind Joe trouwens erg lijken op Zed uit police academy

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Op maandag 2 januari 2006 22:38 schreef T1andonly het volgende:
Dat is net die van Urkel

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Op dinsdag 3 januari 2006 12:12 schreef Lonewolf2003 het volgende:

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Die gast snapt er niks van.

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Op dinsdag 3 januari 2006 12:13 schreef WAT het volgende:

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Want?

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Op dinsdag 3 januari 2006 13:05 schreef rashudo het volgende:
Sommige fokkers bezitten niet veel mensenkennis. Denk terug aan je tijd op school, ik ken nog veel extremere nerds als die in dit programma, en die zouden graag voor 250.000 USD tussen de lekkere wijven zitten.

Ik denk wel dat er neppe stukjes in zitten.. maar waarom zou je veel geld uitgeven aan een acteur als deze debielen voor het oprapen liggen. En dat gebruikmaken van medische termen tijdens een bloedneus, dat is juist wat ik van zo'n persoon verwacht. Ik heb dat soort situaties zelf meerdere keren meegemaakt Een nerd zoekt in elke situatie wetenschappelijke uitleg en laat dat dan ook graag aan z'n omgeving horen.

Ik denk wel dat ze misschien dit soort dingen influisteren.. ga nu medische termen brallen, maar aan de andere kant had het ook zo vanzelf kunnen gebeuren.

Als je trouwens op IMDB kijkt zie je dat een aantal van de beauties en geeks in het verleden met showbizz in aanraking zijn geweest.. Dus misschien hebben ze een mix gemaakt van echte en nepperds

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Op dinsdag 3 januari 2006 13:09 schreef WAT het volgende:

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Dus kortom ... je denkt precies hetzelfde als diegene die jij een gebrek aan mensenkennis wijt.

Trouwens hebben zulke Amerikaanse producers dat geld er wel voor over. "Echte" mensen zijn zo onvoorspelbaar als de pest. Die kunnen dichtklappen enz.

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Op dinsdag 3 januari 2006 11:55 schreef Mr._T-Rex het volgende:
Ow, en een leuk artikel over iemand die het niet zo leuk vond
...
Ik vind Joe trouwens erg lijken op Zed uit police academy

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Op dinsdag 3 januari 2006 13:05 schreef rashudo het volgende:

Als je trouwens op IMDB kijkt zie je dat een aantal van de beauties en geeks in het verleden met showbizz in aanraking zijn geweest.. Dus misschien hebben ze een mix gemaakt van echte en nepperds

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Op dinsdag 3 januari 2006 16:44 schreef Jojogirl het volgende:

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Volgemsij valt dit wel mee. Ik heb er ook eens wat aangeklikt naar aanleiding van het IMDBlinkje eerder in dit topic en de meeste dingen lijken me gastoptredens naar aanleiding van deze show en geen showbizzcarrieres.

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Op dinsdag 3 januari 2006 17:09 schreef Lonewolf2003 het volgende:

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Precies. En enkele van die lekkere wijfen hebben een miniscuul figurantenrollen gehad. Wat natuurlijk niet zo raar is als ze zo lekker zijn.

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Op dinsdag 3 januari 2006 17:12 schreef WAT het volgende:

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ja maar het betekent wel dat ze meelopen in de acteerwereld.

Die Amerikaanse shows zijn zoooo nep man ... maar wel grappig. Soms.

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Op dinsdag 3 januari 2006 14:49 schreef stefimke het volgende:

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Grappig, ook zo'n overview van de beauties?

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Op dinsdag 3 januari 2006 18:39 schreef Flash55 het volgende:
[afbeelding]

Geniaal zo'n broek die wil ik ook hebben

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Op dinsdag 3 januari 2006 18:39 schreef Flash55 het volgende:
[afbeelding]

Geniaal zo'n broek die wil ik ook hebben

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Op dinsdag 3 januari 2006 21:24 schreef _dirkjan_ het volgende:
die vrouw van die foto hierboven is niet lelijk...