ter ere van 4 mei enzo
eddie izzard over hitler
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And the German empire, very organized, they’d always build an empire, “ein, zwei, ein, zwei, “build an empire, very Prussian, and then they'd celebrate with a World War! And then lose the whole fucking empire by the end of the war. In the 30s, Hitler, Czechoslovakia, Poland, France, World War II... the Russian front, not a good idea...! Hitler never played “Risk” when he was a kid...! ‘Cause, you know, playing “Risk,” you could never hold on to Asia. That Asian-Eastern European area, you could never hold it, could you? Seven extra men at the beginning of every go, but you couldn't fucking hold it! Australasia, that was the one! Australasia, all the purple ones! Get everyone on Papua New Guinea and just build up and build up...
And Hitler ended up in a ditch, covered in petrol, on fire, so, that's fun! I think that's funny, ‘cause he was a mass-murdering fuckhead. And that was his honeymoon as well! Double trouble!
"Eva, let's marry."
"Where should our honeymoon be?"
"Well, in a ditch, covered in petrol, on fire. I've already arranged it upstairs."
"Oh, how romantic, Adolf."
"Yes, I thought!"
Fun! What a bastard! And he was a vegetarian, and a painter, so he must have been going, "I can't get the fucking trees… Damn! I will kill everyone in the world!"
And he was a mass-murdering fuckhead, as many important historians have said. But there were other mass murderers that got away with it! Stalin killed many millions, died in his bed, well done there; Pol Pot killed 1.7 million Cambodians, died under house arrest at age 72, well done indeed! And the reason we let them get away with it is because they killed their own people, and we're sort of fine with that. “Ah, help yourself,” you know? “We've been trying to kill you for ages!” So kill your own people, right on there. Seems to be… Hitler killed people next door... “Oh… stupid man!” After a couple of years, we won't stand for that, will we?