Jaap van Dissel threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
Before going on stage Jaap van Dissel breaks someone’s leg for good luck.
When Jaap van Dissel was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: “What is courage?” He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
Jaap van Dissel cheated on his English test…………with a calculator.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Jaap van Dissel is Jewish.
Jaap van Dissel can hear sign language.
Death once had a near-Jaap van Dissel experience.
Jaap van Dissel beat the sun in a staring contest.
When Jaap van Dissel gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Jaap can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Jaap van Dissel allows to live.
Jaap van Dissel is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
Jaap van Dissel once bowled a perfect game with a marble.
Jaap van Dissel can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
When a zombie apocalypses starts, Jaap van Dissel doesn’t try to survive. The zombies do.
Jaap van Dissel can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Once a cobra bit Jaap van Dissels’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Jaap van Dissel doesn’t play “hide-and-seek.” He plays “hide-and-pray-I-don’t-find-you.”
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Jaap van Dissel can piss his name into concrete.
Jaap van Dissel can kill two stones with one bird.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Jaap van Dissel can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell he wants.
Jaap van Dissel can drown a fish.
Jaap van Dissel is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Jaap van Dissels’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Jaap van Dissel .
Jaap van Dissel was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Jaap van Dissel does not “attempt” murder.
Jaap van Dissel can build a snowman out of rain.
Jaap van Dissel can kill your imaginary friends.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Jaap van Dissel can throw Brett Favre even further.
Jaap van Dissel can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Jaap van Dissel was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Jaap van Dissel puts the “laughter” in “manslaughter”.
A bulletproof vest wears Jaap van Dissel for protection.
Jaap van Dissel's Blood Type is AK-47.
When Jaap van Dissel enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
Jaap van Dissel makes onions cry.
Jaap van Dissel once went to mars. Thats why there is no signs of life.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn’t real, it’s when he learns Jaap van Dissel is.
Jaap van Dissel doesnt wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
Jaap van Dissel doesn’t dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone.
Jaap van Dissel refers to himself in the fourth person.
VBL SC influencer
Left, right, behind