Reet niet goed kunnen afvegen

Niet in je handen spugen en het zo schoonvegen

Je reet met water afspuiten. Lekker met een natte onderbroek zitten inclusief verwaterde poepresten tussen je bilhaar. .

quote:

Op woensdag 30 mei 2018 16:49 schreef jogy het volgende:
Je reet met water afspuiten. Lekker met een natte onderbroek zitten inclusief verwaterde poepresten tussen je bilhaar. .

daarom zit er een feun ( föhn ) in een goed bidet

Geen spons-op-stok bij je hebben voor noodgevallen

Wat zou eigenlijk beter voor het milieu zijn, water of papier. Ik bedoel met water gebruiken we met z'n allen heel veel minder papier maar ja al dat water schijnt dan ook weer niet goed te zijn...

quote:

Op woensdag 30 mei 2018 16:53 schreef Karstman het volgende:
Wat zou eigenlijk beter voor het milieu zijn, water of papier. Ik bedoel met water gebruiken we met z'n allen heel veel minder papier maar ja al dat water schijnt dan ook weer niet goed te zijn...

zo lang het water hier een kwartje kost voor 1000 liter gaat niemand water besparen.

niet een gebruikte tampon uit de bek van je hond redden en daar je reet mee schoon vegen

Gewoon even de verzorging bellen.

Man, man, man........
gewoon tussen het vegen door even de natte pleeborstel door de bilspleet raggen en dan droogdeppen

Leuk verzonnen. Het echte verhaal is natuurlijk dat je zo dik bent dat je armen te kort zijn om er bij te kunnen.

quote:

Op woensdag 30 mei 2018 16:52 schreef VleesLollie het volgende:

[..]

daarom zit er een feun ( föhn ) in een goed bidet

Lekker met warme lucht je naad drogen en onvruchtbaar worden door het airfryen van je balzak .

Te dom om te poepen, niet echt verrassend TS. .

Veeg je wel de juiste richting op?

quote:

Op woensdag 30 mei 2018 17:11 schreef nogeenoudebekende het volgende:
Te dom om te poepen, niet echt verrassend TS. .

Sow.

quote:

Op woensdag 30 mei 2018 17:16 schreef Pharkus het volgende:
Veeg je wel de juiste richting op?

Altijd van je af vegen.

Niet eens kunnen douchen.. bij jouw vriendin maak je er toch een leuk uitje van? Samen douchen

quote:

Op woensdag 30 mei 2018 17:19 schreef LurkJeRot het volgende:

[..]

Altijd van je af vegen.

Ik controleer het maar even voor de zekerheid.

Niet stiekem Sweeps meenemen

Geen Popodusche op het werk hebben

quote:

Op woensdag 30 mei 2018 17:03 schreef jogy het volgende:

[..]

Lekker met warme lucht je naad drogen en onvruchtbaar worden door het airfryen van je balzak .

Dan blijf je toch lekker vegen holbewoner (pun intended)

Ik laat mijn reet gewoon likken.

quote:

Op woensdag 30 mei 2018 18:01 schreef Atak het volgende:

[..]

Dat is voor vochtige kutjes. Niet voor een harige reet met poep.

Onzin je moet wat. Scheren is ook geen optie. Lees deze klassieker maar eens

"Friends dont shave your ass hair!

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble ****ting.

No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can?t-Be-Flushed threshold.

I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. ?Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don?t I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!? I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. ?How many Indians could there be?? said by General Custer. ?Looks like a good day for a drive!? by JFK. ?There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!? by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know.

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic $!@%- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky $!@%/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering ****/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own **** blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: ?It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks.?

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasnt enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn?t just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

Friends, DONT SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!"

Laat je reet schoonlikken door je hond.

quote:

Op woensdag 30 mei 2018 18:08 schreef Mojo.jojo het volgende:

[..]

Onzin je moet wat. Scheren is ook geen optie. Lees deze klassieker maar eens

"Friends dont shave your ass hair!

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble ****ting.

No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can?t-Be-Flushed threshold.

I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. ?Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don?t I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!? I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. ?How many Indians could there be?? said by General Custer. ?Looks like a good day for a drive!? by JFK. ?There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!? by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know.

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic $!@%- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky $!@%/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering ****/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own **** blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: ?It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks.?

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasnt enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn?t just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

Friends, DONT SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!"

Godver. .

quote:

Op woensdag 30 mei 2018 18:42 schreef nogeenoudebekende het volgende:

[..]

Godver. .

Welkom, ben je nieuw op internet?

quote:

Op woensdag 30 mei 2018 19:01 schreef LurkJeRot het volgende:

[..]

Welkom, ben je nieuw op internet?

Neuh maar meestal ben ik te lui om lappen tekst te lezen. .

quote:

Op woensdag 30 mei 2018 16:53 schreef LurkJeRot het volgende:
Geen spons-op-stok bij je hebben voor noodgevallen

Veri Romani sciunt.

quote:

Op woensdag 30 mei 2018 16:59 schreef the-eye het volgende:
Man, man, man........
gewoon tussen het vegen door even de natte pleeborstel door de bilspleet raggen en dan droogdeppen

En dan kloeten nat toiletpapier ertussen hebben hangen

Pak de handdoek die langs de wasbak hangt op je werk.
Maak die wat vochtig onder de kraan, en flos je bilnaad door die handdoek er flink doorheen te raggen.
De restjes kun je weg laten likken.

Poeptopic!

Pak vochtig toilet papier. Zo opgelost