SEX Seksualiteit
Seks! Vrijwel iedereen doet het of heeft het erover. Maar wat betekent seks nu voor jou (en je partner)? Meningen, ideeėn, vragen en discussies zijn welkom. Geen puberaal gedrag aub.
Voor TS als hij de rest ook wil doen 
Don't Shave That Hair!!!
I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting.
No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold.
I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.
I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.
Little did I know.
I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.
Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic shit- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.
Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."
Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.
As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.
Friends, DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!
Don't Shave That Hair!!!
I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting.
No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold.
I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.
I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.
Little did I know.
I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.
Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic shit- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.
Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."
Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.
As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.
Friends, DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!
Ik denk meer dat je als nieuwsposter een geile egocentrische narcist moet zijn, die een flinke stijve krijgt van alle berichten die ie van zijn eigen hand ziet op de FP, zo! ©yvonne
Beste nieuwsbericht ooit op de FOK!frontpage!
Beste nieuwsbericht ooit op de FOK!frontpage!
of een ongeplukte kipquote:Op woensdag 1 juli 2009 22:44 schreef raaavi het volgende:
[..]
en vrouwen zuigen er graag aan.
vind je een ijsje met haren erin ook zo lekker?
quote:Op woensdag 1 juli 2009 22:32 schreef Surveillance-Fiets het volgende:
Voor TS als hij de rest ook wil doen
Don't Shave That Hair!!!
I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting.
No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold.
I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.
I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.
Little did I know.
I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.
Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic shit- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.
Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."
Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.
As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.
Friends, DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!
LOL!!!
ik zou het ook niet kaal scheren, dat is alleen maar moeilijk doen.
gewoon goed bijhouden, kortknippen als je echt vind dat je een aap bent. maar geloof me, kaal laat iedereen denken dat je een 10-jarig jongetje bent.
gewoon goed bijhouden, kortknippen als je echt vind dat je een aap bent. maar geloof me, kaal laat iedereen denken dat je een 10-jarig jongetje bent.
Maar doet dat eigenlijk nauwelijks nog.
Ik lach me doodquote:
geniaal geschreven. Wat een kneus. 
Canada, the promised land!!! Places 2 be: West Michigan, New York State/Long Island (en city),
Washington, DC, Chicago.
American Studies, RuG met minor journalistiek.
Washington, DC, Chicago.
American Studies, RuG met minor journalistiek.
gewoon balletjes kaal, boven de plasser een nette getrimde horizontale streep...........netjes, schonn en fris voor de zuig(st)er;)quote:Op woensdag 1 juli 2009 23:02 schreef Muchachooo het volgende:
ik zou het ook niet kaal scheren, dat is alleen maar moeilijk doen.
gewoon goed bijhouden, kortknippen als je echt vind dat je een aap bent. maar geloof me, kaal laat iedereen denken dat je een 10-jarig jongetje bent.
quote:Op woensdag 1 juli 2009 23:09 schreef klaasdj het volgende:
[..]
Ik lach me dood
Kenden jullie dat verhaal echt nog nietquote:
I just had to get that stress off my chest like breast reduction.
Nope!!quote:Op woensdag 1 juli 2009 23:27 schreef Seam het volgende:
[..]
[..]
Kenden jullie dat verhaal echt nog niet
Welkom op het internet in dat gevalquote:
I just had to get that stress off my chest like breast reduction.
Ik heb dat kort geleden voor het eerst gedaan, gewoon met een scheermesje. En ik verbaasde me erover dat het helemaal niet jeukte!
SPOILEROm spoilers te kunnen lezen moet je zijn ingelogd. Je moet je daarvoor eerst gratis Registreren. Ook kun je spoilers niet lezen als je een ban hebt.of niet
quote:Op woensdag 1 juli 2009 23:55 schreef EgoTrippin het volgende:
Ik heb dat kort geleden voor het eerst gedaan, gewoon met een scheermesje. En ik verbaasde me erover dat het helemaal niet jeukte!SPOILEROm spoilers te kunnen lezen moet je zijn ingelogd. Je moet je daarvoor eerst gratis Registreren. Ook kun je spoilers niet lezen als je een ban hebt.SPOILEROm spoilers te kunnen lezen moet je zijn ingelogd. Je moet je daarvoor eerst gratis Registreren. Ook kun je spoilers niet lezen als je een ban hebt.Niet als ie een fatsoenlijk formaat heeft hoor, nog nooit klachten over gehad integendeelquote:
ik zou het ook niet kaal scheren, dat is alleen maar moeilijk doen.
gewoon goed bijhouden, kortknippen als je echt vind dat je een aap bent. maar geloof me, kaal laat iedereen denken dat je een 10-jarig jongetje bent.
quote:Op woensdag 1 juli 2009 23:55 schreef EgoTrippin het volgende:
Ik heb dat kort geleden voor het eerst gedaan, gewoon met een scheermesje. En ik verbaasde me erover dat het helemaal niet jeukte!eerste paar keer irritant, daarna heb je er geen last meer van.SPOILEROm spoilers te kunnen lezen moet je zijn ingelogd. Je moet je daarvoor eerst gratis Registreren. Ook kun je spoilers niet lezen als je een ban hebt.
alleen de eerste keerquote:Op woensdag 1 juli 2009 22:19 schreef Jonatan het volgende:
[..]
Harsen doe je niet bij je ballen, lijkt me ZEEER pijnlijk!
We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered.
Een vent die zijn ballen niet scheert is een sukkel, omdat:
1) Het onfris voor de likkende tegenpartij is;
2) Het ziet er niet uit;
3) Je voelt veel minder van de tong/lippen.
Stappenplan:
1) Koop Gillette spul. Best a man can get enzo;
2) Maak je ballen nat met warm water;
3) Breng scheerschuim aan op je ballen;
4) Scheer de voorkant van je pik van onder naar boven;
5) Scheer de achterkant van je pik van boven naar onder;
6) Scheer de zijkant van je ballen van buiten naar binnen;
7) Scheer de onderkant van je ballen van onder naar boven;
8) Spoel je ballen af met lauw water;
9) Voel goed of je wat vergeten ben;
10) Als alles kaal is, spoel je ballen dan af met koud water.
Nu heb je heerlijk gladde ballen!
1) Het onfris voor de likkende tegenpartij is;
2) Het ziet er niet uit;
3) Je voelt veel minder van de tong/lippen.
Stappenplan:
1) Koop Gillette spul. Best a man can get enzo;
2) Maak je ballen nat met warm water;
3) Breng scheerschuim aan op je ballen;
4) Scheer de voorkant van je pik van onder naar boven;
5) Scheer de achterkant van je pik van boven naar onder;
6) Scheer de zijkant van je ballen van buiten naar binnen;
7) Scheer de onderkant van je ballen van onder naar boven;
8) Spoel je ballen af met lauw water;
9) Voel goed of je wat vergeten ben;
10) Als alles kaal is, spoel je ballen dan af met koud water.
Nu heb je heerlijk gladde ballen!
Groot. Worm.
1 wassen helpt serieus! ook kale ballen kunne vies zijn (besnijden en scheren om schoner te lijken vind ik zo'n bullshit, je bent dan gewoon een goor ventje!!!) (tege partij hoeft zich van mij ook niet te scheren)quote:Op donderdag 2 juli 2009 00:50 schreef GiantWorm het volgende:
Een vent die zijn ballen niet scheert is een sukkel, omdat:
1) Het onfris voor de likkende tegenpartij is;
2) Het ziet er niet uit;
3) Je voelt veel minder van de tong/lippen.
2
waarom ben je zo dan gemaakt. (geef toe 1x perjaar is het kaal daarna hou ik het bij, ik scheer me baard niet eens meer die doe ik met de tonduze werkt voor mij 20x beter)3 nooit last van gehad voelt alle 2 zelfde...
ik gebruik gewoon veet, 4 min wachten en hup kaal zonder bloed.quote:Stappenplan:
1) Koop Gillette spul. Best a man can get enzo;
2) Maak je ballen nat met warm water;
3) Breng scheerschuim aan op je ballen;
4) Scheer de voorkant van je pik van onder naar boven;
5) Scheer de achterkant van je pik van boven naar onder;
6) Scheer de zijkant van je ballen van buiten naar binnen;
7) Scheer de onderkant van je ballen van onder naar boven;
8) Spoel je ballen af met lauw water;
9) Voel goed of je wat vergeten ben;
10) Als alles kaal is, spoel je ballen dan af met koud water.
Nu heb je heerlijk gladde ballen!
quote:Op donderdag 2 juli 2009 00:02 schreef Ra-z het volgende:
[..]SPOILEROm spoilers te kunnen lezen moet je zijn ingelogd. Je moet je daarvoor eerst gratis Registreren. Ook kun je spoilers niet lezen als je een ban hebt.[..]
Niet als ie een fatsoenlijk formaat heeft hoor, nog nooit klachten over gehad integendeel
SPOILEROm spoilers te kunnen lezen moet je zijn ingelogd. Je moet je daarvoor eerst gratis Registreren. Ook kun je spoilers niet lezen als je een ban hebt.
Klopt. Dan komen de stoppels die alles kapot schaven en de ingegroeide haren die pijnlijke ontstoken rode etterende bulten veroorzaken.quote:Op woensdag 1 juli 2009 22:13 schreef Pakspul het volgende:
[..]
Alleen de eerste keer daarna goed bij houden heb je er ook geen last van.
There is no love sincerer than the love of food.
Als je daar last van hebt moet je of een fatsoenlijk scheermes nemen of leren scherenquote:Op donderdag 2 juli 2009 02:04 schreef MinderMutsig het volgende:
[..]
Klopt. Dan komen de stoppels die alles kapot schaven en de ingegroeide haren die pijnlijke ontstoken rode etterende bulten veroorzaken.
De beslist de likkende tegenpartij wel.quote:
Een vent die zijn ballen niet scheert is een sukkel, omdat:
1) Het onfris voor de likkende tegenpartij is;
Ik loop echt niet de hele dag met m'n blote ballen rond, ik draag broeken.quote:2) Het ziet er niet uit;
Onzin, als je zo'n grote haardos hebt moet je eens naar een dokter gaan.quote:3) Je voelt veel minder van de tong/lippen.
F.K.A. SuperwormJim
dan zal ik toch moette afstappen van me rambo mesquote:Op donderdag 2 juli 2009 02:10 schreef Ra-z het volgende:
[..]
Als je daar last van hebt moet je of een fatsoenlijk scheermes nemen of leren scheren
Ik ken niemand die graag aan een stuk gerimpeld kipfilet met haar likt. Maar je hebt altijd uitzonderingen. Dat is waar.quote:Op donderdag 2 juli 2009 06:21 schreef SuperwormJim het volgende:
De beslist de likkende tegenpartij wel.
Wijsneus. Je moet er gewoon verzorgt uitzien. Ook daar beneden. Tenzij je niet actief bent natuurlijk.quote:Op donderdag 2 juli 2009 06:21 schreef SuperwormJim het volgende:
Ik loop echt niet de hele dag met m'n blote ballen rond, ik draag broeken.
Een tong op een kale balzak voelt als ontvanger echt een stuk directer en dus lekkerder. Heeft niets met hoeveelheid haar te maken.quote:Op donderdag 2 juli 2009 06:21 schreef SuperwormJim het volgende:
Onzin, als je zo'n grote haardos hebt moet je eens naar een dokter gaan.
Groot. Worm.
|
|
| Forum Opties | |
|---|---|
| Forumhop: | |
| Hop naar: | |