ONZ Onzin voor je leven!
Vrolijkheid troef in dit lieve forum vol humor.
Today, I was sitting next to the guy I like and he was doing homework. Then, he looks up, his eyes meeting mine. His smooth voice mutters my name as his face inches closer to mine. I can feel his minty breath against my face. My pulse is racing. Then, he says "What's a pronoun?" FML
anti-climax
Today, I went to a concert. They had this feature where you could send a picture of something from your cell phone and they'd put it on the big screens, so I sent a picture of myself in. When the picture came up on the screens, the entire crowd of about 4,000 people went, "Ewwww!" FML
anti-climax
Today, I went to a concert. They had this feature where you could send a picture of something from your cell phone and they'd put it on the big screens, so I sent a picture of myself in. When the picture came up on the screens, the entire crowd of about 4,000 people went, "Ewwww!" FML
quote:Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML
hoe slecht ben je dan =
Can you picture what we'll be, So limitless and free?
[TK] Heroes seizoen 2 DVD-Box Blu-Ray Geen subs
[TK] Heroes seizoen 2 DVD-Box Blu-Ray Geen subs
quote:Today, I told my parents I wanted them to meet my new partner. My mom went into a rant about how she had known I was gay for a while and asked how I was going to tell my husband. I am straight, madly in love with my husband, and was referring to my business partner. FML
quote:Today, while checking through the graphic novel section of my library, I noticed a gay manga porn comic. While I was wondering who in the world would ever RENT such an item, I realised I had been staring at it for a full five minutes and people were watching me. FML
quote:Today, my boyfriend who has been overseas the last four months broke up with me. I sent him a care package two days ago. He'll get homemade cookies (his mom's recipe), naughty videos of me and a letter telling him how much I love him in about a week. FML
quote:Today, I scored two prime baseball tickets from a supplier at work. I phoned my dad to tell him the good news. He said that's great, my brother and him would love to see the game. I said, no, I'm taking you to the game. He told me I was being selfish and hung up the phone. FML
quote:Today, the girl I've had a crush on for a year finally said she'd go out with me. On the way over to pick her up, she called me and said she'd couldn't go because she was going out to dinner with her ex-boyfriend to talk things over. She asked if she could use the reservations I had made. FML
quote:Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They proceeded to have sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML
quote:Today, a cab driver had to sign me out of the emergency room because I didn't know who else to call. FML
quote:Today, in my art class we had to paint a nude portrait of a fat, old woman. About halfway through the piece, and while painting her fat rolls, I realized she was the only person other than myself I had ever seen naked. FML
If God was a woman, wouldn't sperm taste like chocolat?
[b]AirwiN schreef [/b]
De posts van Huppelmuts onderscheiden zich toch al door hun grammaticale correctheid en scherpe spitsvondigheden? Daar heb je geen UI voor nodig om ze te herkennen.
[b]AirwiN schreef [/b]
De posts van Huppelmuts onderscheiden zich toch al door hun grammaticale correctheid en scherpe spitsvondigheden? Daar heb je geen UI voor nodig om ze te herkennen.
quote:Today, while working at a children's day camp, one of the kids who is allergic to peanuts went into anaphylactic shock. I ran and grabbed the boys eppe pen. I was holding it backwards so the injection went into my hand, causing me to pass out and both of us to be rushed to hospital. FML
If God was a woman, wouldn't sperm taste like chocolat?
[b]AirwiN schreef [/b]
De posts van Huppelmuts onderscheiden zich toch al door hun grammaticale correctheid en scherpe spitsvondigheden? Daar heb je geen UI voor nodig om ze te herkennen.
[b]AirwiN schreef [/b]
De posts van Huppelmuts onderscheiden zich toch al door hun grammaticale correctheid en scherpe spitsvondigheden? Daar heb je geen UI voor nodig om ze te herkennen.
quote:Today, I was in a public bathroom, and a little boy walks in and he has an accident. He asked if I could help him clean it up. So I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and I slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML
quote:Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML
quote:Today, I went to Ralph's to get bread and a snack. While paying, an 80 year old lady, in a walker, took my bag while I wasn't watching. That's right, I got jacked by an 80 year old in a walker. FML
If God was a woman, wouldn't sperm taste like chocolat?
[b]AirwiN schreef [/b]
De posts van Huppelmuts onderscheiden zich toch al door hun grammaticale correctheid en scherpe spitsvondigheden? Daar heb je geen UI voor nodig om ze te herkennen.
[b]AirwiN schreef [/b]
De posts van Huppelmuts onderscheiden zich toch al door hun grammaticale correctheid en scherpe spitsvondigheden? Daar heb je geen UI voor nodig om ze te herkennen.
quote:Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML
quote:Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying 'I'm good' or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML
quote:Today, I went to rent a DVD with my 85-year-old grandpa. I was walking around and then realized I was alone. I looked for him for quite a while until I finally found him open-mouthed in the porn section. FML
quote:Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML
quote:Today, I went out for a drink with my girlfriend. Everything was going smoothly until her phone rang, she took the call and cut whoever it was off quite quickly by saying "I can't talk right now, I'm in the middle of a break-up". I certainly wasn't aware. FML
quote:Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML
tvpquote:Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML
Van het concert des levens krijgt niemand een program.
quote:Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML
Common sense is my super power. What's yours?
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
quote:
whehhe
Celebrities walk on red carpet because they are famous, I walk on toilet paper because I'm the shit
5 Xbox360 spellen: Halo 3 , Fable 2 ,Saints Row 2 , Pure en Virtua Tennis 3 te koop!
5 Xbox360 spellen: Halo 3 , Fable 2 ,Saints Row 2 , Pure en Virtua Tennis 3 te koop!
* Kick *
quote:Today, I was watching TV with a cup of coffee. My mum asked if I wanted a mars bar. I said that would be great and she proceeded to throw one at me, catching me off guard. The mars bar went straight into my coffee, spilling it over my bare legs. I now have a scald mark on my penis. FML
Website staat vol met pareltjes..quote:Today, my husband was leaving on a long business trip to Germany. As he's leaving, my daughter starts crying. 'Dont leave me with her !' she says. 'Take me with you !' FML
Common sense is my super power. What's yours?
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
quote:Today, I walked into my house to find everyone sitting around the table and looking sad. I thought it would be a good time to crack a joke and said "What's wrong? Grandma finally die?" Turns out she had. FML
'And I called your name,
like an addicted to cocaine calls for the stuff he'd rather blame'
like an addicted to cocaine calls for the stuff he'd rather blame'
quote:Today, I was visiting my sick grandmother in the hospital when my cousin and I were playing in some empty wheelchairs. After goofing off I said, "They're fun, but I would kill myself if I was in a wheelchair." A little boy rounded the corner and said, "Tell me about it." He was in a wheelchair. FML
quote:Today, I had sex for the first time with the guy I've been seeing about a month. When we finished, all he wanted to do was kiss and cuddle, and all I could think about was how soon he would leave so I could cry. FML
quote:Today, I spent 3 hours making a birthday card for my boyfriend, delicately cutting each letter out of printed coloured paper. He used it as a coffee coaster. FML
quote:Today, the three-year-old I was babysitting asked me where my boyfriend was. I told her he was at his house. I'm twenty and single. I lied to a three year old to make myself look less pathetic. FML
Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding and got a $200 ticket. After I pulled away, I decided to warn the next car about the cop up ahead by flashing my headlights. The next car was another cop. He didn't appreciate my "help". FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding and got a $200 ticket. After I pulled away, I decided to warn the next car about the cop up ahead by flashing my headlights. The next car was another cop. He didn't appreciate my "help". FML
ya te encontrara siempre te va buscando la verdad
un día entenderá lo poco que va quedando en su lugar
un día entenderá lo poco que va quedando en su lugar
Wehehe, die eerstequote:Op donderdag 21 mei 2009 21:03 schreef FixYou het volgende:
Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding and got a $200 ticket. After I pulled away, I decided to warn the next car about the cop up ahead by flashing my headlights. The next car was another cop. He didn't appreciate my "help". FML
Today, I was lying on the couch with my boyfriend and was feeling tired, so I got a soda. I sat back down and surprised him with a passionate kiss. I also surprised him when I suddenly burped right into his mouth. FML
quote:Op zondag 24 mei 2009 15:04 schreef Philip10 het volgende:
[..]
Wehehe, die eerste
Today, I was lying on the couch with my boyfriend and was feeling tired, so I got a soda. I sat back down and surprised him with a passionate kiss. I also surprised him when I suddenly burped right into his mouth. FML
Hij bood een leuk uitziende meid een rit naar haar huis.quote:
Zij zegd dat ze al thuis is en loop naar de dichtbijzijnde woning, wat zijn huis is.
Ze wou dus geen lift van hem en loog er over.
Whehehehe...
Categorie: You deserved that one..quote:Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML
Common sense is my super power. What's yours?
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
A, ik dacht dat het zijn dochter was.quote:Op zondag 24 mei 2009 15:43 schreef Magic-IRC het volgende:
[..]
Hij bood een leuk uitziende meid een rit naar haar huis.
Zij zegd dat ze al thuis is en loop naar de dichtbijzijnde woning, wat zijn huis is.
Ze wou dus geen lift van hem en loog er over.
quote:Op zondag 24 mei 2009 15:52 schreef neo2000 het volgende:
Whehehehe...
[..]
Categorie: You deserved that one..
This crypto stuff is all hype anyway, nothing will ever replace Windows 10.
whaha te erg , "your my hero"quote:Op zondag 24 mei 2009 17:20 schreef TimKuik het volgende:
De reacties onder deze ook
http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/2209832
"Don't be sad about being awesome."quote:Op zondag 24 mei 2009 17:20 schreef TimKuik het volgende:
De reacties onder deze ook
http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/2209832
- webicon verwijderd, max 100Kb toegestaan.-
M'n icon wat doe je !1!!1!
99% ONZ(in) poster
M'n icon wat doe je !1!!1!
99% ONZ(in) poster
<3
Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.
quote:Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 years old skinny girl and I'm 17 years old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML
quote:Today, none of my 500 Facebook friends responded to my status about "who wants to hang out during summer holidays?" I proceeded to create an imaginary person on a different account to respond and ask me to hang out with him. I had a conversation on my status, with myself. FML
quote:Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend. I called him and started yelling at him over the phone. He told me that if I wanted to end the relationship I should just hang up the phone right then. Before I could say I still love him and don't want to break up, my phone battery died. FML
Verliefd, verloofd.
Die laatstequote:
If God was a woman, wouldn't sperm taste like chocolat?
[b]AirwiN schreef [/b]
De posts van Huppelmuts onderscheiden zich toch al door hun grammaticale correctheid en scherpe spitsvondigheden? Daar heb je geen UI voor nodig om ze te herkennen.
[b]AirwiN schreef [/b]
De posts van Huppelmuts onderscheiden zich toch al door hun grammaticale correctheid en scherpe spitsvondigheden? Daar heb je geen UI voor nodig om ze te herkennen.
quote:Op zondag 24 mei 2009 17:20 schreef TimKuik het volgende:
De reacties onder deze ook
http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/2209832
link geblocked op het werk... wat staat er?
quote:Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML
Can you picture what we'll be, So limitless and free?
[TK] Heroes seizoen 2 DVD-Box Blu-Ray Geen subs
[TK] Heroes seizoen 2 DVD-Box Blu-Ray Geen subs
quote:Today, my boyfriend of four months broke up with me via text message. He spelled my name wrong. FML
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole. I got it." in plain english. FML
Celebrities walk on red carpet because they are famous, I walk on toilet paper because I'm the shit
5 Xbox360 spellen: Halo 3 , Fable 2 ,Saints Row 2 , Pure en Virtua Tennis 3 te koop!
5 Xbox360 spellen: Halo 3 , Fable 2 ,Saints Row 2 , Pure en Virtua Tennis 3 te koop!
Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home at 1am this morning from a friend's birthday party. I'm 30 years old. FML
Drive few cars and far more unicorns.
.
Mr.Cooper schreef ooit het volgende:
ik kan teminste headbangen, lekker met me lange haar lopen chille en zo, kan ik van jou niet zeggen naar je chemokuur-kop
.
Mr.Cooper schreef ooit het volgende:
ik kan teminste headbangen, lekker met me lange haar lopen chille en zo, kan ik van jou niet zeggen naar je chemokuur-kop
Today, my friend and I were seeing a movie. We ended up sitting next to a man who was continually laughing, clapping, and bouncing up and down on his seat. Extremely annoyed, we turned to him and told him to "shut the fuck up". Turns out he had downs syndrome and ran out of the theater crying. FML
Drive few cars and far more unicorns.
.
Mr.Cooper schreef ooit het volgende:
ik kan teminste headbangen, lekker met me lange haar lopen chille en zo, kan ik van jou niet zeggen naar je chemokuur-kop
.
Mr.Cooper schreef ooit het volgende:
ik kan teminste headbangen, lekker met me lange haar lopen chille en zo, kan ik van jou niet zeggen naar je chemokuur-kop
quote:Today my uncle came from another country to visit us and it was the first time he came to our country, when he came upstairs for a tour with my mother they caught me wanking in my room. FML
Chubun Tomata
mwa, zou blij zijn als ie weg is. anders wil ik een nieuw kaartje, lekker irritant zo'n figuur naast je.quote:Op dinsdag 26 mei 2009 23:42 schreef Acinonyx het volgende:
Today, my friend and I were seeing a movie. We ended up sitting next to a man who was continually laughing, clapping, and bouncing up and down on his seat. Extremely annoyed, we turned to him and told him to "shut the fuck up". Turns out he had downs syndrome and ran out of the theater crying. FML
Zat met starwars vlak naast iemand die een beademings apparaat aan had staan. 5 minuten geinig gezien de link met starwars/darth vader, daarna meer zin om dat ding uit te zetten.
quote:Today, I was taking out the trash and I came upon a bill from a veterinary hospital. It was for $50 and it was a bill to put my dog down. My Dad said my dog was missing and I put hundreds of signs around the city. FML
Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they'll die...
-------------------------------------
www.theinvision.nl
-------------------------------------
www.theinvision.nl
Wait...What?quote:Today, was my sister's and dad's birthday. I accidentally mixed up the gifts I got for them and my dad ended up with a vibrator. He wasn't very happy. FML
The Rated-R Era ... A Decade of Decadence
Mr. Prolapse 2009
Mr. Prolapse 2009
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
Drive few cars and far more unicorns.
.
Mr.Cooper schreef ooit het volgende:
ik kan teminste headbangen, lekker met me lange haar lopen chille en zo, kan ik van jou niet zeggen naar je chemokuur-kop
.
Mr.Cooper schreef ooit het volgende:
ik kan teminste headbangen, lekker met me lange haar lopen chille en zo, kan ik van jou niet zeggen naar je chemokuur-kop
quote:Today, I dreamed that I met this beautiful girl at a restaurant and we ended up having lunch together. Everything was going perfect until the end when I tried to get her number and she wouldn't give it to me. I can't even get a girl in my dreams. FML
quote:Today, I was taking out the trash and I came upon a bill from a veterinary hospital. It was for $50 and it was a bill to put my dog down. My Dad said my dog was missing and I put hundreds of signs around the city. FML
quote:Today, I was sitting in a bar next to this gorgeous guy who kept eyeing me up and after about 30 minutes he finally leaned in to whisper something in my ear. What he said? "If I were you, I would get a push-up bra.
Je vergat "FML" erachter te zetten!quote:
Maar hij was wel goed.
Verdiende loon!quote:Today, after 7 hours on my feet at work, my boyfriend picked me up. Relieved, I took off my shoes. Suddenly, he looked up and sniffed asking,"are those your feet?" I had forgotten to put on socks in my rush to work. He made me put my shoes back on and sit in the back, windows open. FML
Jaja, dat stukje heeft ze er gewoon bij verzonnenquote:He made me put my shoes back on and sit in the back, windows open
Dat denk ik ook, of ze moet met een echte eikel hebbenquote:
[..]
Jaja, dat stukje heeft ze er gewoon bij verzonnen
Nou.. dat ze d'r schoenen aan moet doen zou iedereen om vragen, raampjes open om even de lucht te verversen ook.. achterin laten zitten, weet ik niet.
Die site is echt briljant kende hem al van vroeger tijden niet meer opgeweest straks toch maar even weer checken..
straks toch maar even weer checken..
quote:Hi, my name is TS and today i started this really funny topic. Too bad the moderators noticed, and i got myself a ban. Now i don't even have internet friends. FML
quote:Today I was shaving my balls with a blade razor because my electric trimmer had died and I had a big date with the girl of my dreams. I moved too quickly and accidentally knicked a vein in my scrotum. I had to hold gauze over my balls until the paramedics arrived. FML
quote:Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML
Oh my god#@#(@!!quote:Today, my grandparents were staying over my house for a couple of nights. As I was walking to my bathroom in the middle of the night, I noticed their door was open, and my grandfather was awake. I tried to say 'Hi' to him, but he didn't hear me. I then noticed that he was masturbating. FML
quote:Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML
Verliefd, verloofd.
Wtfquote:Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my balls. FML
quote:Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML
quote:Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
quote:Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "because you can't find a real girl I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
Children of the night. What music they make.
Today Kaká signed to Madrid. FML.
JULLIE DENKEN VERKEERDE TOPIC + JE HEBT CAPSLOCK AAN
VERWACHTE REACTIES:
IS HET AL CAPSLOCKDAG?
JE ZIT IN VERKEERDE TOPIC VRIEND
KAKA? DAT IS TOG EEN EITJE
JULLIE DENKEN VERKEERDE TOPIC + JE HEBT CAPSLOCK AAN
VERWACHTE REACTIES:
IS HET AL CAPSLOCKDAG?
JE ZIT IN VERKEERDE TOPIC VRIEND
KAKA? DAT IS TOG EEN EITJE
Chubun Tomata
Van wie ben jij een kloon?quote:Op dinsdag 9 juni 2009 00:49 schreef Teezie het volgende:
Today Kaká signed to Madrid. FML.
JULLIE DENKEN VERKEERDE TOPIC + JE HEBT CAPSLOCK AAN
VERWACHTE REACTIES:
IS HET AL CAPSLOCKDAG?
JE ZIT IN VERKEERDE TOPIC VRIEND
KAKA? DAT IS TOG EEN EITJE
quote:Today, I thought it would be funny to fart in my roommates mouth while he was asleep. I walked over to him and pulled my pyjamas down and let loose. To my surprise it was a very wet one and I accidently took a dump on his face, he woke up and beat me until I was bleeding. FML
Oh en dubbel:
F*** my life
Op vrijdag 4 november 2011 09:39 schreef Blik het volgende:
"Sinds wanneer is maart de derde maand van het jaar?"
61% van alle statistieken zijn nutteloos.
Vind je dat ik een internet verdien? Klik hier!
"Sinds wanneer is maart de derde maand van het jaar?"
61% van alle statistieken zijn nutteloos.
Vind je dat ik een internet verdien? Klik hier!
quote:Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML
Op vrijdag 4 november 2011 09:39 schreef Blik het volgende:
"Sinds wanneer is maart de derde maand van het jaar?"
61% van alle statistieken zijn nutteloos.
Vind je dat ik een internet verdien? Klik hier!
"Sinds wanneer is maart de derde maand van het jaar?"
61% van alle statistieken zijn nutteloos.
Vind je dat ik een internet verdien? Klik hier!
quote:Today, it was my girlfriends birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML
Op vrijdag 4 november 2011 09:39 schreef Blik het volgende:
"Sinds wanneer is maart de derde maand van het jaar?"
61% van alle statistieken zijn nutteloos.
Vind je dat ik een internet verdien? Klik hier!
"Sinds wanneer is maart de derde maand van het jaar?"
61% van alle statistieken zijn nutteloos.
Vind je dat ik een internet verdien? Klik hier!
quote:Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
Op vrijdag 4 november 2011 09:39 schreef Blik het volgende:
"Sinds wanneer is maart de derde maand van het jaar?"
61% van alle statistieken zijn nutteloos.
Vind je dat ik een internet verdien? Klik hier!
"Sinds wanneer is maart de derde maand van het jaar?"
61% van alle statistieken zijn nutteloos.
Vind je dat ik een internet verdien? Klik hier!
quote:Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML
quote:Today, we had our divorce hearing and now it is final. As we were leaving the courthouse, I told my ex-wife how happy I was that we were finally free from each other. Then my junky old van wouldn't start and I had to beg her for a ride home. FML
quote:Today, I was was leaving the library when I noticed an elderly woman being mugged. I was about to leave on my bike, but promptly went to help her. After I managed to scare off the mugger, I helped her to her car. As I was heading back to my bike, I notice the mugger riding off on it. FML
Geflashed.quote:Today, I was walking around at my cottage barefoot when I suddenly got a sliver in my foot. I sat down on a chair so that I could try to get the sliver out. I sat on a wasp and it stung me. FML
quote:Today, my wife asked me to pop an ingrown hair near her crotch. We haven't had sex since last September. Popping her ingrown hair was the closest I've gotten to my wife's vagina in nearly nine months. FML
kickje
It Never Hurts To Help!
quote:Today, I ran into my crush of three years ago. We used to always walk our dogs together. He still remembered my dog's name. He didn't remember mine. FML
quote:Today, I was texting a friend of mine. She mentioned it was her dad's birthday. I typed "Tell him Happy Birthday for me!" and as I pressed send I remember her dad was dead. FML
quote:Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex and listening to loud music when she suddenly looked worried and asked if I heard something. I said no and continued. Moments later, three firemen opened the bedroom door and told us to get dressed and go outside because the building was on fire. FML
quote:Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML
quote:Today, I went to a new bar downtown with some friends. I was a little buzzed and had to pee so bad. I rushed into the bathroom and as I sat down I felt a squish on my upper thigh. Turns out the last person in the stall decided to take a shit on the toilet seat. FML
KONING.quote:Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML
* BroesWillems krijgt een Dumb&Dumber flashback, waarbij ze halfbevroren van de brommer stappenquote:
Zo, das kutquote:Today, I went on my honeymoon to Hawaii. My family decided to surprise my new husband and I by joining us on our vacation. FML
I have the cape. I make the fucking Whoosh noise.
Op donderdag 12 juli 2012 19:56 schreef Lithia het volgende:
Ik durf hier niets over te zeggen. Bart is koning hier.
Op donderdag 12 juli 2012 19:56 schreef Lithia het volgende:
Ik durf hier niets over te zeggen. Bart is koning hier.
Op donderdag 3 maart 2011 19:12 schreef zeross het volgende:
Een Headmax PMX60 Sennheiser Koptelefoon, nieuw in de verpakking, slechts enkele keren gebruikt.
Een Headmax PMX60 Sennheiser Koptelefoon, nieuw in de verpakking, slechts enkele keren gebruikt.
Dan ben je ook domquote:Today, I sent pictures to my ex of me and my new boyfriend in bed. He sent them to my dad. FML
I have the cape. I make the fucking Whoosh noise.
Op donderdag 12 juli 2012 19:56 schreef Lithia het volgende:
Ik durf hier niets over te zeggen. Bart is koning hier.
Op donderdag 12 juli 2012 19:56 schreef Lithia het volgende:
Ik durf hier niets over te zeggen. Bart is koning hier.
quote:Today, I handed my PhD dissertation, which I have spent the past year researching and writing full-time. Last night, my roommate set an autocorrect on Word that changed "neither" to "nigger." I didn't notice until after I handed it in. My professor is black. FML
Te Koop: Kekke, kopere armbanden! Met sjiek kleurtje! *O*
Op 22-02-2009 22:26 schreef Bellerophon het volgende:
Sterf een pijnlijke dood, trut :')
Op 22-02-2009 22:26 schreef Bellerophon het volgende:
Sterf een pijnlijke dood, trut :')
quote:Today, my girlfriend went on a trip to see her "sick" father with her young attractive male friend. I asked if I could come too but she said there isn’t enough room in the car. I didn't mind till I realized that she drove a 4 door SUV and her father died 2 years ago. FML
quote:Today, my wife and I went shopping for new glasses at a local store, but we didn't really get to actually buying one. On our way back, she warned me that my glasses of choice should in no way be 'those big arty ones'. When I asked her why not, she told me that I 'look gay enough already'. FML
quote:Today, in class, I was sitting next to the guy that I fancy. Shyly, I write our initials (L and A) into a heart on his hand to see his reaction… “I love Los Angeles too!” FML
quote:Today, after a party, I brought a girl to the flat I share with my 2 best friends. While we are doing it, she asks me "You're not afraid your friends could hear us?". The only answer that spontaneously came out of my mouth: "Don't worry, they're used to it". FML
Geweldig topic dit
Ikweetniks, weet jij iets, maar ik weet niks, dus ik had gehoopt dat jij iets zou weten, maar kennelijk weet jij ook niks, tjemug je bent echt dom dat je niks weet, maar ik weet dus niks, dus ik hoop dat jij iets weet ;)
quote:Today, my little cousin came to visit my family. I haven't seen him in a while so I figured he missed me. Thinking so, I tried to hug him. While going in for the hug, he punched me in the balls and called me a faggot. FML
This crypto stuff is all hype anyway, nothing will ever replace Windows 10.
Today, I was babysitting. The kids were thirsty, so I poured them both a cup of the green juice I'd found in a jug in their fridge. They downed it in a flash. It wasn't until later on after I'd poured myself a cup and taken a sip, I realized I had given them margarita mix. The kids are 4 and 2. FML
Site is zwaar Kick!
Site is zwaar Kick!
Youre the chocolate at the end of my cornetto
quote:Today, through AIM, I told my ex boyfriend that I still have really deep feelings for him. The message I sent him was really long and took me almost an hour to write. His response? "Dun dun dunnn, the plot thickens!" Then he signed off. FML
quote:Today, my boss fired me because arriving at 8 and leaving at 9 is unacceptable and I should work at least 8 hours a day. For the past week I have been working 13 hours a day to finish a project. I got fired because my boss does not know the difference between am and pm. FML
nerds:quote:Today, I left something in my boss' office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breast feeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML
quote:Today, I gave the option to my boyfriend of 5 years to either quit World of Warcraft of lose me. He said WOW makes him happier. FML
quote:Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Whahaha blijft brilljant!quote:Today, I checked my voicemail. I was really surprised to hear an adorable message from my boyfriend, who was vacationing in Florida. I was even more surprised to hear him having sex with some other girl for the last seven minutes of the message. FML
Leedvermaeck is het leuckste vermaeck.quote:
Common sense is my super power. What's yours?
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
quote:Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML
quote:Today, I lost my cell phone. Since I sleep on the couch, I started looking through the cushions. I didn't find my phone, but after 6 months of uncomfortably sleeping on the couch, I find out I'm sleeping on top of a pull out bed. FML
quote:Today, I finally got Wii Fit to lose some weight. Came home and set it all up only to be told that I weigh too much to use the board. FML
It Never Hurts To Help!
quote:Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and refused to give me back the condoms I'd just bought. Why? Because she wants to use them with the guys she's been cheating on me with. FML
quote:Today, my boyfriend of 4 years told me he was leaving me because we haven't slept together in a few weeks. I just gave birth to our first child and am still recovering from my c-section. FML
