When I was young (elementary school young), I went to an extremly poor city school. I was pale, skinny, wore glasses, bookworm. Pretty cliche. I spent most of my school days either being beaten up, or trying to avoid being beaten up. For some reason, there are certain children who are just magnets for people wanting to hurt them, and I went through school with a target on my forhead from day one.
When I was eight years old, I snuck away during recess to a secluded little corner of the schools asphalt lot, a few foot wide nook in the side of the buliding where the gym was built but didn't but up perfectly against the main building. I hid there sometimes to read (trying to read on the benches by the street was an invitation to have random stuff thrown at me). The girls hated me. The boys hated me. That creepy kid that ate paste every elemetary school has hated me. I didn't have a single friend. I failed at life.
Well it was when I was sitting in that nook one day, Early November of 3rd grade for those keeping track of the timeline, an older boy named Shawn (7th grade) found me there, and forced me to perform oral on him. When he was done, he beat me until he was convinced I would never tell anyone, warned me he would kill me, and left.
The next day the same thing happened. It started what would turn into a 4 year period of sexual abuse by what wound up being a group of 5 older kids (4 guys and a girl). In the end, me and my mom moved, and I wound up going to school an hour and a half away. I never saw Shawn or the others again, was a complete mess for a few years, and then turned out overwhelmingly normal. I'm straight and healthy, and in a relationship. I don't hold any ill will towards the group of kids, but I don't know what I would do if I ever met up with any of them these days.
I was too shy, scared, lonely, and obediant for the thought of telling anyone to even cross my mind. They took full advantage of that, and essentially turned me into a sex toy for them, breaking me down and introducing me to new acts and doing anything they wanted with me. If they wanted me to drink a glass of stored up cum, I did it. if they wanted rimjobs, I did it. if they wanted me to lick them clean after they fucked me, I did it. I was too small, in the emotional sense, to even try to tell them no. They weren't violent, they didn't hurt me (in fact they kept other kids from picking on me), but there was no question that I would do what they told me to, wether I wanted to or not (which I never once did).
I didn't understand what was happening at this age. I didn't know about sex, let alone anything like blowjobs. I was only vaguely aware that girls and boys were shaped different, but I had no idea why. So all I knew was that what they were doing wasn't painful (excluding the discomfort of anal sex, which if done slowly is far less painful than a punch in the face), so I just let them. It was ALMOST like having friends. Almost.
It's established that every day at recess, I meet Shawn and Eric at that same nook where Shawn first took me, and they'll get their daily blowjob. It's also established that they'll pick a time for the NEXT day for me to ask to use the bathroom, and we'll meet in the upstairs (6-8th grade floor) bathroom for them to use me, either orally or anally. It wasn't clockwork, but being a bookworm shy kid meant the teachers didn't worry about me starting trouble out of class, so i could usually get away, and one or both of them would be their waiting for me.
On one of these days in early March, I went up to the 'older' bathroom like usual. But it wasn't just Shawn and Eric there. Another boy their age was with them, light skinned (might have been mullatto), just sitting there with them looking a little nervous.
Shawn came over and locked the door (there were two upstairs bathrooms, and it wasn't odd for one to be locked, so we were almost guaranteed to get between 5 and 10 minutes of privacy). I was panicked, but not to the extent I was when I met Eric. When I first saw Eric with Shawn, I thought they were afraid I was going to tell, and were honestly going to kill me. I was starting to accept that Shawn knew I would never tell anyone anything, but seeing a new face when I was used to being essentially raped in this room every day wasn't an easy feeling. I liked things to stay the same. Change usually meant more for me to try to remember. Shawn put a lot of energy into teaching me how to give a good blowjob alone, let alone rimjobs, learning to thrust back when they were in my ass, learning to relax to let them inside of me in the first place.
At the time, I didn't know why they brought Nathan with them that day. I found it all out about 6 months later when Julia joined them. They very rarely talked directly to me, unless they were telling me what to do, but they would discuss me with each other sometimes like I wasn't actually there, so I picked up how they knew each other over time. It turned out that Nathan had been trying to 'seduce' his little sister, without being too obvious about it. Eric caught on, and decided that he could trust Nathan not to tell anyone about me.
Shawn was a little unhappy about it, primarily because Shawn loved rimjobs like no one I've ever known, and another dick I had to suck was less time for him to have his ass eaten. But when you're part of a group that's molesting a 3rd grader in the school bathroom every day, I suppose you kind of have to stick together even if something bothers you.
So here Nathan was. He was really nervous, and rightly so. I didn't realize what it all meant at the time, but looking back, I'm sure in the back of his mind, he wondered when he was going to get beaten down for being a pervert. He didn't have to worry unfortunately, as Shawn told me to strip like he did every day. Eric came over and put his dick in my face, and Shawn pulled out his little tube of Vaseline and started lubing up my rear. Nathan was pretty shocked, pleasantly so, mumbling "holy shit" and "unbeleivable" and stuff like that.
Eric came in my mouth while Shawn pushed me down to all fours and started fingering my ass more roughly, which was his way of showing that he intended to start fucking me soon. Nathan jumped at his chance and came over and stuffed himself abruptly in my face. I wasn't surprised or anything, though he was a slight bit larger than Eric whch officially made him the biggest cock I'd ever seen. Sometimes the guys wanted me to actually blow them, and sometimes they just wanted to grab my head and fuck my face. Like I said, I never told them no, so it didn't matter to me either way.
So I'm there naked on the older boys bathroom floor, with Shawn putting his dick in my ass, and Nathan humping at my mouth. Nathan came hard and fast, but after 4 months of almost daily practice I didn't cough or gag much when I swallowed. I'm not sure, but from the way he was acting, I might have been his first blowjob. Shawn fucked me until he came, and then moved around to my face. His dick was dirty of course, (not many eight year olds give themselves enemas), and he'd been using Vaseline (which is mostly tasteless, but still a greasy feeling in your mouth).
Of course it didn't matter. I sucked him into my mouth while looking up at his eyes like he'd taught me to from the start. When he was done watching me suck on his softening dick (either felt sufficiently clean, or just done with that) he turned around wordlessly. I knew what he wanted, it was the same thing he always wanted. I spread his butt apart and started tongueing him.
Frankly, I prefered that to any sex act they made me perform. Cocks choke you when they hit your throat (even though I was getting better with my gag reflex), cum just doesn't taste that good, anal sex is actually pleasant in a strange way, but it does leave you feeling sore. I was used to feeling sore pretty much constantly those days.
But rimjobs? I could handle rimjobs without any struggle. It was worse when they weren't clean, (either from using the bathroom that day, or just from it being late and them having a 'musky' thing built up), but it was still never bad enough to cause me any physical discomfort. I wished all the time that Eric (and eventually Nathan) would want rimjobs more often, just to make things easier on me, but Nathan only tried them once or twice, and Eric only seemed to want them on rare occasions.
Anyway, Nathan was now a part of their group. We usually had plenty of time at recess, so sucking all three of them off wasn't a big deal then. Only having a few minutes in the bathroom was more of a problem. I could sometimes get away with not having a cock in my ass until seeing them in the afternoon after school, if they were in the mood for oral in the mornings. But having three guys in as little as 5 minutes, and 9 or 10 at the most, meant from then on I pretty much always got buttfucked in the morning AND after school. One would use my ass while I blew the other two. It took some adjusting to, but once you get used to that unique ache, you just kind of move on and forget it's there.
Nathan never, ever liked that I was a boy. I mentioned before that Shawn and Eric seemed more like they were being opportunistic horny teenagers, than actual pedos. Nathan though, he was a pedophile through and through, and he preferred girls. Beggers can't be choosers, and I was an extremly feminine boy at that age, but he would have been much happier with another hole to fuck, rather than a dick he had to ignore.
I'm fairly confident that my abuse had at least one positive effect on someone. Nathan had a younger sister, and as far as I know, when he started abusing me, he didn't really focus on trying to work his way into her anymore. Why risk getting caught with a family member when you have a perfectly good sex slave waiting at your friends place, right?wrong gender or not, I was still hairless and tiny. Boys and girls are only so different at 8 anyway.
None of that changed the fact that he didn't want me to be a boy. However, if he had to settle, he was going to do it right.
Almost every weekend, as well as most afternoon/evenings after school, I went to Shawns. His mom came home from work a while after we got off school, but she never really bothered us past a required pop-in before she went to relax. She never once knocked or opened Shawns door if it was closed. When we weren't having sex, we would play games (he had a playstation, which was cool for someone with a second-hand beat to hell super nintendo) or watch TV. Just fucking around like kids do. Like I said, it was ALMOST like having friends.
I rimmed Shawn a lot, especially if we were alone. He would have me do it for a minute or two really regularily, and sometimes, when the opportunity presented itself, he'd lay in bed and relax while I pleased him for a half hour or more. After a few minutes of that, any sweaty/musky feeling was gone, replaced by saliva, so it wasn't as bad as it sounds for me.
Anyway, this isn't about Shawn. This is about Nathan. One afternoon at Shawns, Nathan came over. It wasn't rare, him and Eric both tried to make it to 'visit' him as much as they could get away with, especially on weekends when they might have me there all night as a sleepover.
Nathan brought his backpack with him that day. Buried at the bottom, under his books and folders and shit like that, was an outfit. Something he'd gotten from his little sister. I was bigger than her, I learned from them talking about me, so most of her clothes wouldn't fit me.
The outfit Nathan had picked though, was an exception. A stretchy pink spaghetti string shirt thing, and a what on HER would have been a knee length little dress/skirt.
Shawn laughed and rolled his eyes, and went bakc to playing his game. Nathan said he just wanted to see what I looked like in it, and shut Shawns door.
I didn't get too upset over what they did those days. I cried a lot, but I cried a lot in general. But I cried HARD when I realized what Nathan was going to do. Those were girl clothes. I didn't get beat up enough, they were going to dress me like a girl? I was eight, so I didn't have a lot of foresight on subjects. I wasn't thinking about the fact that the clothes can be taken off, or that only those two would see me. I was just thinking about the fact that he was going to DRESS ME LIKE A GIRL. Omfg no.
But it didn't matter. NONE of it mattered. They said, I did, and it was as simple as that. So when Nathan told me to strip, I did, crying to whole time. When nathan came over and forced this stretchy tight pink thing over my head and straightened it out on my chest, I cried. When he made me step up to pull up a skirt around my waist before tightening it into place, I REALLY cried. Then Nathan backed away and said "Shit that's hot". I cried less. Hearing "Shit that's hot" isn't being pushed to the ground and kicked. So far so good.
Shawn paused the game and looked over at me. He smiled. He agreed with Nathan. I mostly stopped crying at that point. I was deeply attached to Shawn at that point, even if I didn't understand what any of it meant. His approval honestly did help me stop wanting to die.
I was petite as hell, pale, and had slightly long hair (more shaggy than anything). If you put a skinny eight year old in a dress, you're pretty much looking at a girl. If you knew me, you would be able to tell who I was, it wasn't a miraculous transformation or anything. But there was nothing particularily masculine about the way I looked, and the clothes made 75% of the difference.
The dress was way too short on me. It would have been a fine looking length if I wasn't a pre-teen, but it was obscene on a child. They liked that, of course. They spent some time groping me, of course. They fucked me senseless, of course. (On a side note, I wasn't used to being fucked while wearing anything, but it was actually more comfortable feeling, mentally, than being nude).
They kept me in the dress all night, until just before I left to go home. I still didn't like it. But if they were the only ones seeing me in it, I wasn't going to fling myself in front of a bus or anything. Nathan said they had to plan on 'dressing' me more often and Shawn agreed, but he also calmed me down about the subject. Told me not to worry, that it was no big deal, made all those soothing noises like when he took my butt for the first time.
Eric didn't care one way or the other, when he found out. All Eric seemed to care about was getting his cum inside of me and then going back to whatever else he was doing. Shawn thought it was sexy, but wasn't really that interested in it, not in any special way. Nathan though. To Nathan it was a huge deal. It was the difference between seeing a little girl sucking him off, or a little boy, and he knew which one he wanted.
So from that point on, they dressed me like a girl at random times. They kept it to private spots, usually Shawns room, and they were limited to what was uni-size enough to actually stay on my body, but I never stopped hating it. I got used to it. I got over it. But I never once did anything but frown or cry when they pulled out a skirt or other girly stuff.
My birthday was an extremly unique occurence. No one fucked me, or tried to fuck me, or made me drink cum or suck them off, or dress me like a girl, or ANYTHING. I saw all three of them. I spent the day sleeping over at Shawns, and Eric stayed over too. Nathan stopped by. They all said happy birthday. None of them tried to get off in me until the next day.
I used to cry thinking about that. How sad of a child I was, that not getting raped on my birthday was a big deal. That playing games with other kids and then just going to sleep was a one time event.
I'm over it now. Life never sad it was going to be good to us, we have to make due with the cards we were dealt, and I've decided to toss em and get a whole new hand.
When summer came, I didn't see Nathan much at all. I spent a LOT of time with Shawn, and I saw Eric about half as much as that. For the most part, things remained the same over summer as they had for my third grade year. The only thing new they took interest in was stretching me further. Nothing ridiculous, no fire extinguishers or traffic cones or cartoon shit like that. Nothing that you'd see on 'Digital Knockout'.
But they had always prepared me to be used the same way before hand. One finger, two fingers, dick. Shawn, who had more time with me than anyone else, started liking fingering me as a more relaxing (for him) experience. He was always pawing at my butt and stuffing a finger or two in when he could get away with it, and he started trying to work more fingers in.
Over Summer, he managed to get it up to 5 fingers, two on one hand and 3 on the other, before it started hurting me too much. He didn't want to injure me, just abuse me, so when I started actually HURTING and crying, instead of just being sore and aching like crazy, he stopped.
Sometimes he made me lick his fingers clean.
I never liked that...
Not at all.