Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2005 8:12 am subject: My Latest Theory
by : dan
First, about Joran Van Der Sloot. He's a creepy kid with bad parents, but he's no murderer, not even by accident as he claims. Don't get me wrong, he's no angel: people have come out to Fox and CNBC about his past. Usual weekend activities: pick up unsuspecting tourist girl- someone cute and naive, find out when her last night on the island is, hook up that night, drug, date rape, leave on the beach (to slink off in shame with little memory of the night's events), repeat next weekend. Ok, so why the lies and confession and story changes? Joran is a glory hog according to my profiler: he thinks of himself as a Tom Cruise in training, and being held for a crime he won't get convicted of is a great way to feel important. So, confessions and story changes when he feels like the limelight is off him. As for what happened on May 30, well...
Joran hooks up with Natalee just as described. He invites her to a
'private party' after hours at C&Cs. Slips her an X (Ecstasy-date rape drug), gets the Kalpoes to pick them up, Satish drops Joran, Natalee, and Deepak off at a private party (rave party-drugs, booze, and date rape drugs). Now where exactly I don't know, but /possibly/ at the home of
Lorenzo Van Rijn. ( man that kills dogs in a brutal manner) Well, there are some people at the party Joran isn't comfortable with...
local drug dealers, maybe some local cops (oh yes, again verified by eyewitnesses: the LE even up to
Jan Van Der Straaten(Police chief) are known to hit the parties after hours. Joran gets nervous and he and Deepak leave Natalie there, thinking she'll turn up again just like all the other girls.
![]()
But then somebody deviates from the plan. Maybe Natalie wasn't all the way under and saw who (Van Der Straaten-Police chief, and drug dealers) was there. Maybe she just came to in the middle of the 'party' and was witness to her own assault. Anyway, the guys at the party keep her a while longer, but three things happen that totally screw things up: Natalie manages to make a few phone calls when nobody's looking, she leaves her hairbrush behind, and Van Der Straaten shows up at that party to collect his take. So he knows Natalee was there and with whom and she knows he was there. Next morning Beth Twitty is already in Aruba crying havoc. Paulus our judge-in-training (he actually failed his exam)
![]()
wakes up Joran and asks about Natalee. Joran tells him what happened and washes Deepak's car real well to eliminate any trace that Natalee was ever with them that night. Paulus calls up his buddy Van Der Straaten: (Police chief who is Joran’s real grandfather.) Jan, we have a problem..." "Paulus, don't worry; I'll take care of it" Well, the Twittys bring a small army of reporters and volunteers with them, and it makes returning Natalee really, really tough. Jan was hoping he could find Natalie, plant her on the beach, and "Oh look, just as we said. She was hanging out with the beach bums like usually happens." But now even after he finds Natalee, he can't return her without all this mess being exposed... including the past charges of accepting bribes from the local drug dealers to look the other way. Don't believe me? Call up Chuck Geiss at Black & White Birmingham newspaper and ask him how hard he has it trying to corroborate dirt on Van Der Straaten. Well, what can Jan do? He can stall...and he tries. Unfortunately, the Twittys and Holloways are the best parents in the world (and I sincerely mean that), and they are not leaving. Meanwhile, Paulus catches Joran bragging about his latest conquest at school (just ask Joran's buddies Alex and Jaime), and coaches Joran and the Kalpoes on what to say and how to stick to the story.
So, Van Der Straaten starts making arrests, questioning people, and finally settles on holding Joran: there is no forensic evidence to prove he did anything, and Van Der Straaten knows even if it goes to trial Joran will get off. Meanwhile, the family may give up and leave. They don't, so Van Der Straaten has to up the ante: a protest to try to get the family off the island.
Tim Miller with Texas EquuSearch shows up and lets himself be blithely led around in circles...no body, no crime, right? Well this makes a great distraction: people looking for a body they will never find because Natalee is still using hers. Looks like something is getting done to the media and the family, right? No! They're still there being very determined and amazingly strong, even after Van Der Straaten threatens to shut down the case if the Twittys don't stop being so vocal. That kind of works: they shush up but they don't leave, but they hire their own PIs. Damn! Ok...up the ante: get Natalee’s hair off hairbrush (or somebody else's hair, really doesn't matter either way), plant evidence to be found even though that locale was already searched. "Oh must've washed up out of the sea". Family is still there! Well, we need more compelling evidence now: how about DNA? Sure, grab the Kalpoes and Joran and get some, no problem. Sorry, Paulus Van Der Sloot (Joran’s father), but Joran's going to have to take the fall after all unless you want every drug dealer on this island...and maybe even those really dangerous Mafioso’s you owe money to (not saying names, but the guy who wins certain casinos...after your head the (Columbia neck tie version). Joran's a minor so even if he gets convicted of murder he'll only get ten years. Maybe, that will get the family out of there, so we return Natalie (well, maybe), and Joran gets released. Remember, the haircut Joran got not long ago? Don't be surprised if Joran's hair turns up someplace convenient as evidence too. Aruba LE (Law Enforcement) must think we're stupid...but the Twittys ARE losing sight of finding Natalee and getting wrapped up in justice. They want a fall guy because they're so convinced Nat is dead and in so much pain from not knowing. Luckily, all the family is not convinced. In the meantime, who has Natalee and why? Well, right now she is on an oil tanker being held, and probably being abused to break her down so when she is returned she won't talk. All I know about this vessel is it makes port of call in Costa Rica, probably takes oil from Venezuela to Africa or maybe Europe, was in Aruba or perhaps Venezuela between 05/31 and 06/10, and has a German registry. That ship is probably halfway across the Atlantic by now, but luckily in international waters. 70N, 45E maybe As long as this is, I've left out a lot of details (such as my insider to the case who tipped me off to a lot of this).
OK, do what you will with this. I am going to the talk radio stations I have contact with starting tomorrow (one of my people helped Ken Starr with Whitewater, so she knows her media contacts), and I'm sending this to Greta at Fox even thought if she's missed this all thus far she will never pick up the right track. Like I said, go ahead and use any of this you can with my blessing, and feel free to call me. The Twittys and Holloways and the FBI have this info, but don't seem to be acting on it much...they really don't take us seriously. As long as this is, I've left out a lot of details (such as my insider to the case who tipped me off to a lot of this).
Dan
Wanneer domme mensen domme dingen beweren, dan moet je ze niet corrigeren, maar glimlachend gelijk geven.