K&LLPT278

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His name was Metis and he took his name, presumably, from the Titaness wife of Zeus and posthumous mother of Athena. Through his unsavory and peculiar interests, Metis had learned that a company located in Brazil offered a custom video service. Brazil is a simple nation of mossy troglodytes, unfettered by the laws and scruples which restrain we Americans from the savage jungle apes. There was no vestige of civilization to stand in the way of their profit. The Brazilians were willing to subject themselves to all manner of humiliation and debasement, to be acted out exactly as specified and recorded for posterity.

Before bringing the idea of hiring the Brazilians up on our forums, Metis sent a letter of inquiry to the video service:

"I've read the rules for requesting a movie to be made, and it said that if I have a fetish that is different from what is offered, you may be able to talk to the directors and work something out. I got a great idea while watching some scat movies recently: scat swapping. This would basically be a movie where one woman's ass is penetrated by fingering and tonguing and fisting to make her anus very loose. A third woman will pull her anus open further and hold it open, meanwhile the second woman, the scat-giver, shits in the first woman's open ass. The woman whose ass has been shit in will then shit the scat-giver's shit back out, and everyone will eat it. If possible, I would also like it if the women were able to vomit in the woman's ass along with the shit, or afterwards, so that the vomit could also be shit out and eaten. Please get back to me and let me know if this is something you can accomplish in a video, and if so, how much it would cost. Thank you!"

Metis posted a thread on our otherwise entirely honorable and respectable forums explaining his situation and offering to sell many of his possessions in order to raise money to have the video made. He was met with a wall of revulsion and confusion, peppered with a fair number of otherwise goodly folk who thought Metis to simply be on a twisted lark. This video would never be made, they believed, so why not indulge in a bit of fantasy of the grotesque? The most common question posed to Metis was "why?" or its more colorful variation, "what the fuck is wrong with you?"

At last, Metis replied:

"I like scat because it's demeaning to women in a sexual way; it makes them subordinate to the extreme because eating shit is the worst thing anyone can do besides cannibalism. Even look back to Greek/Roman writings, the Bible even; there's scat in comical and also dramatic senses - it's always been there; it's one of the most disgusting taboos, and sometimes I like to get off to the depravity of a woman who is willing to swallow someone's shit."

The conversation swirled for nine pages, with Metis finding nearly as many supporters and curiosity-seekers as he found detractors. After less than a day, Metis announced that he had received a response from the Brazilian custom video company.

"A scat movie with 2 girls costs US$350 plus shipping and you can pay US$ 150 for additional girl. This is the price for you make your own video. What do you think about it? Please let me know..."

Be at peace and without fear, while it is still possible.
The game was afoot and Metis began to gather financial contributions from various forum members. One can condemn such men as fools or degenerates, but to do so ignores the innate human drive to witness the impossible. In the naïve pre-SWAP.avi world such a video seemed well beyond the realm of reason. Those poor deluded souls who contributed to the fund perhaps envisioned some effort akin to an expedition to find a rune-covered Paleolithic obelisk in the remnants of a sunken city. It was an opportunity to enrich the world of proper men and expand the horizons of knowledge to encompass a woman pooping into another woman's butthole.

After dozens of pages and many suggestions about what should be included in the video, Metis at last announced that the arrangements had been made and the video was going to be produced. The thread continued for many more pages, dragging on until February 11th with little indication that the video would be forthcoming. Accusations of fraud began to surface. If only these accusations were true. Metis defended himself, claiming that he had sent the money to the mysterious Brazilians and that he was harassing them as much as possible about producing the video.

After 60 pages, one of our administrators by the name of Ozma closed the thread.

By this point, Metis had repeatedly run afoul of the administrators, who questioned his repeated requests for money and hyper-defensive attitude. Many of the people who had donated money to his scat movie effort had begun to complain to the administrators, seeking some sort of compensation for their loss. Metis, apparently oblivious to his rapidly depleting fecal cachet with the staff of the Something Awful forums, reposted his original thread and continued to solicit more donations. After thirteen pages, this thread was closed on March 9th of 2004 and Metis was permanently banished for various related and unrelated offenses.

Nearly everyone involved presumed Metis to be a fraud. His bizarre scam was at its end and that chapter on the forums was closed.

On March 30th of 2004, another poster by the name of Cannibal created a thread at the request of Metis to make an earth-shattering announcement.

Metis' Scat Swap video HAS been made

It got made. The company sent Metis 20 preview pics of the video, and it's soon to be finished and distributed. Goon phrases made it into the movie as per requests.

Cannibal included 20 images taken from the video and the forums erupted in chaos. The images were worse than any mortal man had believed possible and the Empyrean itself seemed to quake in their presence. I do not know which twenty images were excerpted from the video, but as someone in possession of the entire accursed work I doubt there are twenty frames without feces.

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Op vrijdag 14 december 2007 09:05 schreef Lienekien het volgende:
Als ik het nou niet (aanbevelenswaard) leuk vind, L, hoef ik zeker ook niet uit te leggen wat ik exact doe?

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Op vrijdag 14 december 2007 09:28 schreef LXIV het volgende:
Ja, nu weet ik nog niet veel meer dan dat ik uit korte stukjes hier in de LPT al opgemaakt had.

Maar goed.

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Op donderdag 13 december 2007 19:08 schreef sigme het volgende:
Ik moest even zoeken, maar mijn herinnering was wel juist.
[..]

Het complete verhaal: The Horrible Saga of SWAP.avi

Wat ik dan weer niet wist, maar nu wel, is dat die 2girls1cup daarnaar verwijst. Waar slaat die omschrijving op?

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Op donderdag 13 december 2007 20:53 schreef LXIV het volgende:
In Roosendaal zoekt men nog een "Toezichthouder/BOA, belast met kleine ergernissen" ! En meer van dat soort mensen.

Wat doen jullie eigenlijk exact, k en L? En is dat leuk?

Ik wil helemaal niet belast worden met kleine ergernissen...

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Op vrijdag 14 december 2007 11:57 schreef k_man het volgende:
Ik heb mijn foto's van Bhutan online gezet. Het zijn er veel (245), maar wel de moeite waard - hoop ik althans.

Klik hier op het mapje Bhutan 2007 of klik hier voor een diavoorstelling.

De kans is overigens aanwezig dat het er wat minder worden. Bij Photobucket kunnen ze geen onderscheid maken tussen porno en een traditionele muurschildering, dus deze foto hebben ze alvast verwijderd:

[ afbeelding ]

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Op vrijdag 14 december 2007 12:50 schreef JAM het volgende:

[..]

Dat verhaal inderdaad, sigme en als ik voor mijzelf spreek (ik weet dat ik hier voor mijzelf en slechts een hele, hele kleine groep anderen) zeg ik: dit is het briljantste wat de mensheid tot dusver heeft voorgebracht. Fuck de IKEA, fuck de democratie, fuck de kernbom, fuck de huurtoeslag; '[...]shit out the vomit and then eat the vomit shit [...]', STOF ZIJT GIJ EN TOT STOF ZULT GIJ WEDERKEREN. Amen.

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Op vrijdag 14 december 2007 17:27 schreef Thisbe het volgende:

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Vastgoed. Al durf ik het bijna niet hardop te zeggen omdat het zo shabby klinkt.

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Op zaterdag 15 december 2007 14:25 schreef Frollo het volgende:
Zo, ik heb de boel ook ingepakt nu. Zo vroeg in het jaar ben ik nog nooit klaar geweest met de kerstzooi!

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Op zaterdag 15 december 2007 16:30 schreef PopeOfTheSubspace het volgende:
Hoi. Ik was geband.

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Op zaterdag 15 december 2007 19:55 schreef Frollo het volgende:

[..]

Waarom?

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Op zaterdag 15 december 2007 18:59 schreef Liejannuh het volgende:
Nee, niet al het groen, maar wel een heel stuk. Er zat wel 30 cm groen aan ofzo. En dat eet ik niet op want dat is vies, dus ik heb het er afgehaald en daarna ging ik het afwegen.
En dat mocht niet.
Prutssupermarkt.

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Op zaterdag 15 december 2007 20:19 schreef PopeOfTheSubspace het volgende:

[..]

Wat een onzin, preigroen smaakt prima.