Golfoorlog humortopic 3 - In het straatje blijven

[Dit bericht is gewijzigd door GizartFRL op 13-04-2003 15:49]

[Dit bericht is gewijzigd door UnleashMitch op 13-04-2003 16:16]

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Op zondag 13 april 2003 15:48 schreef Youssef het volgende:
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Op zondag 13 april 2003 15:48 schreef Youssef het volgende:
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[Dit bericht is gewijzigd door Slam op 13-04-2003 21:06]

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Op maandag 14 april 2003 06:43 schreef Calella het volgende:
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theimage Well, the war has been a huge success, and I guess it's time for congratulations all round. And wow! It's hard to know where to begin.
First, I'd like to congratulate Kellogg Brown & Root (KBR) and the Bechtel Corporation, which are the construction companies most likely to benefit from the reconstruction of Iraq. Contracts in the region of $1 billion should soon coming your way, chaps. Well done! And what with the US dropping 15,000 precision-guided munitions, 7,500 unguided bombs and 750 cruise missiles on Iraq so far and with more to come, there's going to be a lot of reconstruction. It looks like it could be a bonanza year.
Of course, we all know that KBR is the construction side of Halliburton, and it has been doing big business with the military ever since the Second World War. Most recently, it got the plum job of constructing the prison compound for terrorists suspects at Guantanamo Bay. Could be a whole lot more deluxe chicken coops coming your way in the next few months, guys. Stick it to 'em.
I'd also like to add congratulations to Dick Cheney, who was chief executive of Halliburton from 1995 to 2000, and who currently receives a cheque for $1 million a year from his old company. I guess he may find there's a little surprise bonus in there this year. Well done, Dick.
Congratulations, too, to former Secretary of State, George Schultz. He's not only on the board of Bechtel, he's also chairman of the advisory board of the Committee for the Liberation of Iraq, a group with close ties to the White House committed to reconstructing the Iraqi economy through war. You're doing a grand job, George, and I'm sure material benefits will be coming your way, as sure as the Devil lives in Texas.
Oh, before I forget, a big round of appreciation for Jack Sheehan, a retired general who sits on the Defence Policy Board which advises the Pentagon. He's a senior vice president at Bechtel and one of the many members of the Defence Policy Board with links to companies that make money out of defence contracts. When I say 'make money' I'm not joking. Their companies have benefited to the tune of $76bn just in the last year. Talk about a gravy train. Well, Jack, you and your colleagues can certainly look forward to a warm and joyous Christmas this year.
It;s been estimated that rebuilding Iraq could cost anything from $25bn to $100bn and the great thing is that the Iraqis will be paying for it themselves out of their future oil revenues. What's more, President Bush will be able to say, with a straight face, that they're using the money from Iraqi oil to benefit the Iraqi people. 'We're going to use the assets of the people of Iraq, especially their oil assets, to benefit their people,' said Secretary of State Colin Powell, and he looked really sincere. Yessir.
It's so neat it makes you want to run out and buy shares in Fluor. As one of the world's biggest procurement and construction companies, it recently hired Kenneth J. Oscar, who, as acting assistant secretary of the army, took care of the Pentagon's $35bn-a-year procurement budget. So there could also be some nice extra business coming its way soon. Bully for them.
But every celebration has its serious side, and I should like to convey my condolences to all those who have suffered so grievously in this war. Particularly American Airlines, Qantas and Air Canada, and all other travel companies which have seen their customers dwindle, as fear of terrorist reprisals for what the US and Britain have done in Iraq begins to bite.
My condolences also to all those British companies which have been disappointed in their bid to share in the bonanza that all this wonderful high-tech military firepower has created. I know it must be frustrating and disheartening for many of you, especially in the medical field, knowing there are all those severed limbs, all that burnt flesh, all those smashed skulls, broken bones, punctured spleens, ripped faces and mangled children just crying out for your products.
You could be making a fortune out of the drugs, serums and surgical hardware, and yet you have to stand on the sidelines and watch as US drug companies make a killing.
Well, Hosni Mubarak, the Egyptian President, has some words of comfort for us all. As he recently pointed out, this adventure by Bush and Blair will have created such hatred throughout the Arab world, that 100 new bin Ladens will have been created.
So all of us here in Britain, as well as in America, shouldn't lose heart. Once the Arab world starts to take its revenge, there should be enough reconstruction to do at home to keep business thriving for some years to come.

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Op zondag 13 april 2003 15:48 schreef Youssef het volgende:
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Zo kinderachtig is het uiteindelijk

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Op zondag 13 april 2003 15:48 schreef Youssef het volgende:
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The CENTCOM representatives confirmed that this AH-64D was later destroyed by a precision-guided bomb dropped by a US plane (presumably an F-14) so not to let the advanced technology fall into the enemy's hands.

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Russian military intelligence concluded that the US planes destroyed a crude mockup of the helicopter and that the real AH-64D was transported away from the crash site.

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Will the real Hussein please stand up?
(eminem parodie)

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Op donderdag 17 april 2003 10:16 schreef Fearlezz het volgende:
http://www.toccionline.com/creations/realhussein/realhussein.swf

Will the real Hussein please stand up?
(eminem parodie)

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Deze is top!

Top Ten Things Iraq's Information Minister Has To Say About The War

10. "We're pulling down the statues of Saddam to have them cleaned"

9. "Don't believe that stuff you see on CNN...or NBC, CBS, ABC, Fox or MSNBC"

8. "If you ask me who the winner is, it depends on what your definition of 'is' is"

7. "Iraqi television is off the air because we didn't want you to have to sit through 'Becker'"

6. "Do you know of any job openings for a lying weasel?"

5. "Wolf Blitzer and I are engaged"

4. "Iraqis are in the streets celebrating Cher's 40 fabulous years in show business"

3. "Incoming!"

2. "Saddam's not dead -- he's just out with a case of the shingles"

1. "War? What war?"