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pi_126071447
Dit is het Giro topic









AJ
pi_126071659


Bouhanni _O_
AJ
pi_126071795
hehehe goeie TT, op naar de puntentrui ;)
Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
pi_126071808
Email van Cav gisteren naar zijn ploeggenoten _O-
quote:
If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you’re sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough fucking ride.
For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this team, we have been FUCKING UP in terms of sprint lead outs and the spring classics. I’ve been getting texts on texts about people LITERALLY being so fucking AWKWARD and so fucking BORING. If you’re reading this right now and saying to yourself “But oh em gee Mark, I’ve been having so much fun with my teammates this week!”, then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don’t have to fucking find you on in the team hotel to do it myself.

I do not give a flying fuck, and Omega Pharma-QuickStep does not give a flying fuck about how much you fucking love to talk to your teammates. You have 361 days out of the fucking year to talk to teammates, and these three weeks is NOT, I fucking repeat NOT ONE OF THEM. These three weeks is about winning stages in the Giro, and that’s not fucking possible if you’re going to ride around and talk to each other and not coordinate a leadout train. Newsflash you stupid cocks: THE GIRO DON’T LIKE BORING TEAMS. Oh wait, DOUBLE FUCKING NEWSFLASH: THE GIRO IS NOT GOING TO INVITE US TO HANG OUT IF WE FUCKING SUCK, which by the way in case you’re an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE FUCKING SUCK SO FAR. This also applies to you little shits that have talked openly about transferring to a different team IN FRONT OF THE UCI. Are you people fucking retarded? That’s not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you’re mentally slow so I can make sure you don’t go to anymore stage races. If the RCS openly said “Yeah we’re gonna invite Lampre-Merida over”, would you be happy? WOULD YOU? No you wouldn’t, so WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO IT TO THEM?? IN FRONT OF THEM?!! First of all, you SHOULDN’T be leading out with 20 kilometers to go. YOU DON’T GO. YOU. DON’T. GO. And you ESPECIALLY do fucking NOT convince other teammates to lead out so early.

“But Mark!”, you say in a whiny little bitch voice to your computer screen as you read this email, “I’ve been cheering on our team at all the spring classics, doesn’t that count for something?” NO YOU STUPID FUCKING ASS HATS, IT FUCKING DOESN’T. DO YOU WANNA KNOW FUCKING WHY?!! IT DOESN’T COUNT BECAUSE YOU’VE BEEN FUCKING UP AT 2.1 UCI EVENTS TOO. I’ve not only gotten texts about people being fucking WEIRD in the peloton (for example, being stupid shits and saying stuff like “durr what’s a leadout?” is not fucking funny), but I’ve gotten texts about people actually cheering for the opposing team. The opposing. Fucking. Team. ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?!! I don’t give a SHIT about sportsmanship, YOU CHEER FOR OUR GODDAMN TEAM AND NOT THE OTHER ONE, HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN TO A CLASSIC? ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND? Or are you just so fucking dense about what it means to make people like, you think being a good little supporter of the team is going to make our management happy? Well it’s time someone told you, NO ONE FUCKING LIKES THAT, ESPECIALLY OUR FUCKING MANAGEMENT. I will fucking dick punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don’t give a fuck if you tell the UCI, I WILL FUCKING ASSAULT YOU.

“Ohhh Mark, I’m now crying because your email has made me oh so so sad”. Well good. If this email applies to you in any way, meaning if you are a little asswipe that rides in the back of the peloton or if you’re a weird shit that always has mechanicals, this following message is for you:

DO NOT GO TO THE GIRO.

I’m not fucking kidding. Don’t go. Seriously, if you have done ANYTHING I’ve mentioned in this email and have some rare disease where you’re unable to NOT do these things, then you are HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE PR FOR THIS TEAM. I would rather have 3 guys that can lead me out, talk to podium girls, and not fucking awkward than 25 that are fucking idiots. If you are one of the people that have told me, “Oh nooo boo hoo I can’t leadout the team”, then I pity you because I don’t know how you got this far in life, and with that in mind don’t fucking show up unless you’re going to stop being a goddamn cock block for our team. Seriously. I swear to fucking God if I see anyone being a goddamn boner at the Giro, I will tell you to leave even if you’re pulling 1500 watts in the sprint. I’m not even kidding. Try me.

And for those of you who are offended at this email, I would apologize but I really don’t give a fuck. Go fuck yourself.
pi_126071809
Email van Cav aan teammates voor de Giro _O-

quote:
It’s been no secret that Mark Cavendish hasn’t been happy with the level of support he’s received from his Omega Pharma-QuickStep teammates. The Belgian squad’s spring classic season was a disappointment in comparison to the days when Tom Boonen was winning Paris-Roubaix and the Tour of Flanders.

Team manager Patrick Lefevre has told the press that he is already on the hunt for riders that can support Cavendish in the sprint and is going to bench those who can’t. In a last ditch effort to shore up support for Manx Missile in the Giro d’Italia, suddenly retired Alessandro Petacchi was attempting to transfer to Omega Pharma-QuickStep. However, the UCI blocked that possibility leaving the Italian sprinter out of his nation’s grand tour and Cav without an experienced leadout rider.

Perhaps it was out of this frustration that Mark Cavendish sent his teammates this scathing email, leaked to Browne Eye Media, the night prior to the start of the Giro.



If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you’re sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough fucking ride.

For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this team, we have been FUCKING UP in terms of sprint lead outs and the spring classics. I’ve been getting texts on texts about people LITERALLY being so fucking AWKWARD and so fucking BORING. If you’re reading this right now and saying to yourself “But oh em gee Mark, I’ve been having so much fun with my teammates this week!”, then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don’t have to fucking find you on in the team hotel to do it myself.



I do not give a flying fuck, and Omega Pharma-QuickStep does not give a flying fuck about how much you fucking love to talk to your teammates. You have 361 days out of the fucking year to talk to teammates, and these three weeks is NOT, I fucking repeat NOT ONE OF THEM. These three weeks is about winning stages in the Giro, and that’s not fucking possible if you’re going to ride around and talk to each other and not coordinate a leadout train. Newsflash you stupid cocks: THE GIRO DON’T LIKE BORING TEAMS. Oh wait, DOUBLE FUCKING NEWSFLASH: THE GIRO IS NOT GOING TO INVITE US TO HANG OUT IF WE FUCKING SUCK, which by the way in case you’re an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE FUCKING SUCK SO FAR. This also applies to you little shits that have talked openly about transferring to a different team IN FRONT OF THE UCI. Are you people fucking retarded? That’s not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you’re mentally slow so I can make sure you don’t go to anymore stage races. If the RCS openly said “Yeah we’re gonna invite Lampre-Merida over”, would you be happy? WOULD YOU? No you wouldn’t, so WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO IT TO THEM?? IN FRONT OF THEM?!! First of all, you SHOULDN’T be leading out with 20 kilometers to go. YOU DON’T GO. YOU. DON’T. GO. And you ESPECIALLY do fucking NOT convince other teammates to lead out so early.



“But Mark!”, you say in a whiny little bitch voice to your computer screen as you read this email, “I’ve been cheering on our team at all the spring classics, doesn’t that count for something?” NO YOU STUPID FUCKING ASS HATS, IT FUCKING DOESN’T. DO YOU WANNA KNOW FUCKING WHY?!! IT DOESN’T COUNT BECAUSE YOU’VE BEEN FUCKING UP AT 2.1 UCI EVENTS TOO. I’ve not only gotten texts about people being fucking WEIRD in the peloton (for example, being stupid shits and saying stuff like “durr what’s a leadout?” is not fucking funny), but I’ve gotten texts about people actually cheering for the opposing team. The opposing. Fucking. Team. ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?!! I don’t give a SHIT about sportsmanship, YOU CHEER FOR OUR GODDAMN TEAM AND NOT THE OTHER ONE, HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN TO A CLASSIC? ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND? Or are you just so fucking dense about what it means to make people like, you think being a good little supporter of the team is going to make our management happy? Well it’s time someone told you, NO ONE FUCKING LIKES THAT, ESPECIALLY OUR FUCKING MANAGEMENT. I will fucking dick punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don’t give a fuck if you tell the UCI, I WILL FUCKING ASSAULT YOU.



“Ohhh Mark, I’m now crying because your email has made me oh so so sad”. Well good. If this email applies to you in any way, meaning if you are a little asswipe that rides in the back of the peloton or if you’re a weird shit that always has mechanicals, this following message is for you:



DO NOT GO TO THE GIRO.



I’m not fucking kidding. Don’t go. Seriously, if you have done ANYTHING I’ve mentioned in this email and have some rare disease where you’re unable to NOT do these things, then you are HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE PR FOR THIS TEAM. I would rather have 3 guys that can lead me out, talk to podium girls, and not fucking awkward than 25 that are fucking idiots. If you are one of the people that have told me, “Oh nooo boo hoo I can’t leadout the team”, then I pity you because I don’t know how you got this far in life, and with that in mind don’t fucking show up unless you’re going to stop being a goddamn cock block for our team. Seriously. I swear to fucking God if I see anyone being a goddamn boner at the Giro, I will tell you to leave even if you’re pulling 1500 watts in the sprint. I’m not even kidding. Try me.



And for those of you who are offended at this email, I would apologize but I really don’t give a fuck. Go fuck yourself.
pi_126071845
quote:
0s.gif Op zaterdag 4 mei 2013 21:28 schreef baggerbaas het volgende:
Email van Cav aan teammates voor de Giro _O-

[..]

1 sec :D
pi_126071865
quote:
0s.gif Op zaterdag 4 mei 2013 21:29 schreef TheArt het volgende:

[..]

1 sec :D
"Fuck" :D
pi_126071891
Hahahaha 2 mails
AJ
  zaterdag 4 mei 2013 @ 21:30:26 #9
23344 Sheepcidus
Is it an excuse?
pi_126071926
wat een spammert
Were making, were making!
Radio Soulwax!
  zaterdag 4 mei 2013 @ 21:35:00 #10
66825 Reya
Fier Wallon
pi_126072200
Beetje een sneue mail.
pi_126072218
quote:
You have 361 days out of the fucking year to talk to teammates, and these three weeks is NOT, I fucking repeat NOT ONE OF THEM.
huh? :')
  zaterdag 4 mei 2013 @ 21:37:01 #12
14505 OProg
A Life in Music
pi_126072337
quote:
0s.gif Op zaterdag 4 mei 2013 21:28 schreef baggerbaas het volgende:
NO YOU STUPID FUCKING ASS HATS, IT FUCKING DOESN’T. DO YOU WANNA KNOW FUCKING WHY?!! IT DOESN’T COUNT BECAUSE YOU’VE BEEN FUCKING UP AT 2.1 UCI EVENTS TOO.
Die mail. :D :')
"Het is oorlog, bedankt Vannoppen, bedankt Van der Linden. Dit is het laatste dat ik voor de Belgische ploeg gedaan heb. Ze kunnen allemaal de boom in."
Improv: Rich Tapestry of Life
pi_126072380
quote:
0s.gif Op zaterdag 4 mei 2013 21:35 schreef LeTourdeFrance het volgende:

[..]

huh? :')
Rekenen is iig niet zijn sterkste punt :P
pi_126072431
Haha die mail _O-

quote:
or if you’re a weird shit that always has mechanicals
STEEGMANS _O_
  Moderator zaterdag 4 mei 2013 @ 21:38:26 #15
198822 crew  Rellende_Rotscholier
Robbertje matten met de wouten
pi_126072439
quote:
0s.gif Op zaterdag 4 mei 2013 21:28 schreef TheArt het volgende:
Email van Cav gisteren naar zijn ploeggenoten _O-

[..]

Wat een zwakzinnige debiel zeg. Mag hopen dat ie morgen van z'n fiets valt dankzij een van z'n ploeggenoten.
Het blijft toch een merkwaardige sport hè, dat wielrennen.
pi_126072462
Die mail van Cav :D _O- :')
pi_126072781
Voor de mensen die het niet door hebben, als Cav die mail al heeft verstuurd, dan is het een parodie op deze:
pi_126072795
Die mail laat wel precies zien waarom hij vandaag die honderdste overwinning binnenhaalde _O_

(als hij dan echt is, maarja als hij hem niet zelf heeft verstuurd is dit in ieder geval wat hij denkt)
  Eindredactie Sport / Forummod zaterdag 4 mei 2013 @ 21:50:21 #19
284411 crew  heywoodu
Van bijna dood tot olympiër:
pi_126073255
Is dat echt? :') :+
Van bijna dood op weg naar de Olympische Spelen, tot olympiër in 2026? Elk beetje hulp wordt bijzonder gewaardeerd!
https://www.gofundme.com/(...)he-spelen-na-ongeval
pi_126073382
Nee joh is nep
AJ
pi_126073434
Bron ?
AJ
pi_126073500
quote:
0s.gif Op zaterdag 4 mei 2013 21:29 schreef baggerbaas het volgende:

[..]

"Fuck" :D
"Is this live" :+
pi_126073562
Eerst zeggen dat het nep is en dan de bron vragen _O_
pi_126073635
quote:
In case anyone thinks this is a real email from Cavendish, it’s a real email from a sorority sister with some changes to the text…
  zaterdag 4 mei 2013 @ 21:56:28 #25
66110 Ambrosius
SportFreak
pi_126073652
quote:
0s.gif Op zaterdag 4 mei 2013 21:55 schreef Marcoss het volgende:
Eerst zeggen dat het nep is en dan de bron vragen _O_
En nog in 2 posts ook.

Let daar eens op man, er bestaat een edit-knop.
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