This is my dick. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
My dick is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.
My dick, without me, is useless. Without my dick, I am useless. I must fire my dick true.
My dick is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its sights and its barrel. I will keep my dick clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will...
Before God, I swear this creed. My dick and myself are the defenders of my country. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviors of my life.
So be it, until victory is America's and there is no enemy, but peace!
Rifleman's creed aangepast