Omegle #8

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Op vrijdag 10 april 2009 20:06 schreef Forburgah het volgende:

[..]

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Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello mate
You: Hi, this is Paul from Omegle.
We have received multiple complaints of inappropriate, lewd behavior traced to your IP address. This is a quick courtesy chat just to follow up those complaints as we need to hear both sides of the story before we take appropriate action.
Stranger: hello
You: Hereby I would like to request you to stay calm and behave
You: in order to still be able to visit Omegle
Stranger: yes sir
You: otherwise I am afraid we might have to ban you
Stranger: i comply
Stranger: how are you paul?
You: I am good thank you very much for asking
You: but I am actually not someone you would like to talk to
You: I am just doing my job
You: Omegle is being misused
Stranger: i understand
Stranger: you're right
Stranger: yesterday someone called me a 'wog'
Stranger: i dont even know what a 'wog' is
You: You see we have a program running on our server
You: which traces down all the obscene words from a conversation
You: noted with IP addresses
Stranger: ok
Stranger: what did i say?
You: So whenever someone from that particular IP logs in I automatically get connected to that person
You: I really do not know, I am connected automatically
You: It is just my simple job to warn you dear user
Stranger: ok i understand
You: Thank you for understanding
Stranger: thank you, paul
You: Although I have to inform you that you are on the watchlist now
You: which basically mean, if the program traces down 20 obscene words in 5 conversations time, you might get a ban of 3 days I am afraid
You: This watch list period applies to you for 7 days
Stranger: what about constructive swearing?
You: Well the program is not THAT tight
You: so words like FUCK and SEX are usually not counted
You: because all americans use these words at least 20 times in 1 minute
You: People also ask for Age, SEX and location
You: so I cannot judge them on that you see
You: The program is set for words like, motherfucker, homo, asshole etc. (I believe, I was not the one to make the program)
Stranger: cunt?
You: I am not sure
Stranger: i see
You: If you don't mind, I would like to continue warning users
Stranger: dont go
You: Thank you for your time and enjoy Omegle
Stranger: i really need to talk to someone
You: Well just connect to another user
Stranger: fuck you, paul
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: hey
Stranger: ows it going
You: Great, whats your name?
Stranger: chuck
Stranger: yours?
You: Ah, im also Chuck. Im you from the future!
You: Im talking to you from a future phone!
Stranger: NO!
You: Sell all your gas stocks, everything now is running on potatoes!
Stranger: i dont have gas stocks...
Stranger: way to go future me
You: Yes we do!
Stranger: well ill make sure not to buy any
You: Good good!
You: Anything else you want to know about yourself?
Stranger: will i have a girlfriend?
You: You will eventually draw a mouth on your hands to pretend they are your gfs!
You: It is a sad life
Stranger: damn, what happens to my current gf?
You: Ah, she will leave you because of the gas stocks that went down
You: She doesnt like a poor smuck like us!
Stranger: what if i dont buy gas stocks?
You: Than the future will be different, and i dont know that!
Stranger: well im gonna change the future, for you future me! for you!
You: Thank you! This life im living is not much to live for!
You: All i have is this future-phone
Stranger: im scared of phones tho...
You: So am i! But what else do i have? Nothing
You: i cant fear the only thing i have!
Stranger: you cant be the future me!
You: But i am!
Stranger: ill always have my sweet dance moves!
Stranger: nothing can change that!
You: My knees are shattered!
Stranger: fuck
You: Our knees!
Stranger: how?
You: Accident while walking home!
Stranger: from where?
You: A giant block of concrete!
You: from the shopping mall!
Stranger: what was i doing at the mall?
Stranger: and why would i walk there?
You: You needed jewelry to convice your gf to come back!
You: And you sold you car to buy the jewelry!
Stranger: fuck, my future life sucks
You: Thats why you have to change it!
Stranger: i think ill just kill myself ahead of time
You: You could, but remember, its never too late to change it!
Stranger: im kinda lazy
Stranger: i just wont buy gas stocks
You: I know, so am i!
Stranger: what should i invest in?
You: Perhaps that will save the world!
You: Potatoes!
Stranger: ok! im out to bu potatoe stocks! goodbye future me!
You: Goodbye!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Heyy, asl?
You: 15/f/ny, you?
Stranger: 16,M,England haha
You: haha
You: oh god im so honry all day, im touching my boobs now
Stranger: haha really?
You: yes, my hands are going down now
You: slowly..
Stranger: nice
Stranger:
You: now they reach my penis and i swing it once
You: i mean
You: fuck.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Op vrijdag 10 april 2009 23:44 schreef Trommeldaris het volgende:
En deze.
[..]

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Op zaterdag 11 april 2009 05:07 schreef MacorgaZ het volgende:
Eindelijk eens een leuk gesprek met 3 Finse meiden die én lekker én aardig zijn.
Damn, wat zou ik graag bij die sleepover zijn nu .

Oh damn, het is al 5 uur geweest Welterusten iedereen

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Stranger: hi 春哥纯爷们
You: hey
Stranger: are you by any chance dutch ?
You: yes and where are you from ?
Stranger: fuck u dutchie
Stranger: 日本老是猪
You: why ? are you a chinese commie bastard ?
Stranger: 看的懂中文
Stranger: 妈的 狗屎垃圾日本鬼子
Stranger: 早晚灭了你门丫小日本的

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Op zaterdag 11 april 2009 14:49 schreef Yozzz het volgende:

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Laatste twee zinnen van de Chinees:

Damn dog feces litter the Japanese devils
Out the door sooner or later your small Japan Center

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Stranger: hey
Stranger: from?
You: hi
You: Mars
You: you?
Stranger: jupiter
Stranger: tiijän et oot suomest
Stranger: -.-'
Stranger: nii turha väittää vastaan
Stranger: emmä usko kumminkaaa

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Op zaterdag 11 april 2009 16:47 schreef Neraice het volgende:

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Wat zegt die gast?

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You: Good day
You: Please state you transgender and opinion about flying trains
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You: Why?
Stranger: hi
Stranger: what why?
You: Why would you say hi first?
Stranger: fuck off
You: That's not an option, I'm sorry
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Stranger: Caitlin??!?!1/
You: YEAH!!!
You: Oooh Jack, you're here!
Stranger: Really?
You: YES, it's me!
You: NOW GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK
You: AND MY KID
You: AND MY CAR
You: AND MY 100 KILOS OF WEED
Stranger: Do you know who this is?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

quote:

You: Hi there!
Stranger: hi
You: I'm the Omegle bot!
Stranger: what?
You: I'm a bot in its beta stage to test artificial intelligence
You: Please just talk randomly at me so I can test my capabilities
Stranger: i don't understand 8((
You: I'm sorry, I don't understand what you just said. Try saying something else.
Stranger: okey, hello
You: Hi there!
You: I'm the Omegle bot!
Stranger: how are you?
You: I'm fine, and you?
Stranger: i'm fione
Stranger: fine*
You: I'm sorry, I don't understand what you just said. Try saying something else.
Stranger: i'm fine
You: Good for you!
Stranger: tes
Stranger: yes
You: I'm sorry, I don't understand what you just said. Try saying something else.
You: Yes indeed
Stranger: where are you from?
You: I'm from the deep cavern where the Creators built Omegle.
Stranger: okey
You: I'm sorry, I don't understand what you just said. Try saying something else.
Stranger: bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

quote:

You: Hello
You: Microsoft Support Service
You: How can I help you?
Stranger: hi
You: Please state your problem?
Stranger: well,i`d like juice:DDD
You: Have you tried a reboot?
Stranger: can you give me?
Stranger: please
Stranger: sorry?
You: Sir, have you tried a reboot?
Stranger: i speak english only little
You: Did you connect any new hardware?
Stranger: so...
Stranger: hardwawe????
You: What OS are you using?
Stranger: X)
You: Windows Vista?
Stranger: X)
You: XP?
Stranger: X)
Stranger: no...
Stranger: no YES
You: Is the keyboard responding?
Stranger:
Stranger: where are you from?
Stranger: yes
You: I cannot give that information sir.
Stranger: i`d like orangr juiceeeeeee
Stranger: IM WOMAN
You: Ah right
Stranger: girl,exactly
Stranger: not sir
You: I guess we found our problem.

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You: Hello Apple Hotline.
You: How can I help you?
Stranger: thanks
Stranger: im fucking bored
Stranger: can you help me
You: Have you tried bashing Windows-users?
Stranger: well
Stranger: actually
Stranger: i am using windows
Stranger: linux?
You: YOU SUCK!

quote:

You: hi
Stranger: zao a
You: tue i
Stranger: shi a
You: aeg q
Stranger: shuo ren hua
You: qtyu wij qnu