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Op dinsdag 2 december 2008 13:09 schreef Kluts het volgende:Je hebt ook zo'n zender met allemaal van die foute commercials die nergens over gaan. Die waren ook best hilarisch.
Commercial Announcer: Are you tired of Dad?
Commercial Boy: Dad, no one wants to hear your stupid Vietnam stories!
Commercial Announcer: Are you tired of Mom?
Commercial Mom: Hi, honey, do you want to go outside or read a book?
Commercial Boy: No!
Narrator: Jack Howitzer... is Tim in Exploder: Evacuator Part II. From the heart of America to the jungles of Cambodia, follow one man's quest for peace.
Tim: Hoochi... is that you?
Hoochi: Tim, I know you come. Just like old days we kill everybody.
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Male: Tim, they've got your wife!
Tim: But I'm not married!
Male: You are now... to America!
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Narrator: Get your self a body bag, strap your self in, start making friends the American way. Exploder: Evacuator Part II. Rated PG may include patriotic garbage.
Voiceover: A deadly curse. A deranged killer. A small town in tears. "Knife After Dark". Rated "R", for "Retarded".
Father: Jimmy, tidy your room and go to bed.
Jimmy: I'm so sick of this. I keep telling you I'm not what I seem, I look 12, but I'm a 42 year old Investment Banker. I wanna go out and get laid.
Father: Yeah, and I'm Santa Claus, now tidy your room.
Jimmy: Asshole.
Commercial Announcer: Do you have dry mouth?
Woman: I sure do
[lisped]
Commercial Announcer: It protects your teeth, fights infection, and lubricates your food. But what happens when you run out of saliva?
Woman: Help me, I can't talk.
Commercial Announcer: For personal dryness upstairs, it's Salivex.
Woman: Wow, I can spit again!
Commercial Announcer: Salivex is more than saliva in a can. Salivex improves consumption efficiency by 50%. No more halfway cures like coating your throat with cooking oil to have that extra piece of cake, or bowl of kitty litter.
Woman: After a night out my tongue tasted like carpet. It was embarrassing. Now with Salivex I can eat a whole box of crackers, or lick my life partner's...
Man: [dubs over] ... stamp collection...
Woman: ...all night.
Man: It's like having a salivation army in my mouth! Now I can suck a...
Man: [dubs over again] ... lollipop...
Man: ...for as long as I want!
Commercial Announcer: Salivex tastes like your own saliva! That's because at Salvex's state-of-the-art production facilities, we use salivation philanthropists, who make Salivex all day! Salivex, when it comes to personal dryness upstairs, WE'RE DEADLY SERIOUS
Voiceover: Howdy, partners! It's 4:30 in the morning here at Farewell Ranch. And it's time to get up and work the old cow. Get up ya oaf! At Farewell Ranch, old people don't sit around stagnating watching game shows and talking about the good old days. Sinking into the grave with a urine-soaked mess. At Farewell Ranch they sweat and toil until the breaking point. Keep that miserable contemplation of mortality at bay. Hell, at steering time, we'll work grandpa so hard he'll wish he was dead. At the end of the day he'll sit down in the blue grass eat a bowl of commemorative beans and enjoy a sing along at one of our nightly funerals. It's the cowboy's code. Work hard, don't shower and die in your boots. Right, Norm?
Norm: Ahh, my prostate!
Voice Over: Farewell Ranch, the only way to ride into the sunset!