Hier Dizz, feel good.
heb er net hardop om zitten lachen
"Little Known Feline Ailments"
Having conquered cat flu, triumphed over tapeworm and braved behavioral
quirks, it is time to focus attention on some oft-observed, but
little-documented, afflictions of cats.
COLLAPSIBLE LEGS
Symptoms: The affected cat places one side of its head on the ground as
though cheek-marking the concrete, carpet etc. After several such maneuvers,
the legs on that side of the cat suddenly collapse, leaving the cat waggling
its feet in the air.
Treatment: This involves placing the palm of one hand on the exposed belly
and rubbing gently. There are side- effects though - some feline sufferers
attack the rubbing hand while others recover spontaneously, often after
prolonged treatment. This condition is probably incurable and any cat which
requires prolonged treatment after an attack will most likely suffer
repeated attacks of collapsible legs throughout its lifetime.
SNUDGING
Symptoms: The affected cat repeatedly headbutts any available part of a
readily available human and turns its head slightly so that the lips and
cheek are rubbed against legs, arms, clothing etc. This condition gets its
name from a contraction of the phrase "soggy nudging."
Snudging may well be a form of excessive scent-marking. A bad attack can
result in soggy clothing.
Treatment: Give the sufferer lavish affection. Most attacks subside between
10 minutes to 1 hour after onset of symptoms. You may need to dry off
snudged clothing or skin. Attacks recur frequently, usually when the most
readily available human is engrossed in a TV program, book or telephone
call.
BED-HOGGING
Symptoms: The cat spreads to take up all available free bed space at night.
It then expands a bit more until any human occupants occupy the smallest
possible area of bed. It may do this on top or underneath the covers or on
the pillow. It is highly contagious - any other cats on the bed will also
develop symptoms of bed-hogging.
Treatment: The most obvious solution is to evict the cat from the bed. If
this is morally unfeasible, train yourself not to give way as the cat
expands. Buying a bigger bed is probably pointless as most affected cats can
easily expand to fill standard, queen-sized and king-sized beds.
Otherwise, simply train yourself to sleep while hanging precariously off the
side of the bed. Attacks of bed-hogging have been known to last up to 23
hours (in one case a 3-day attack was noted by a cat-owner who was confined
to bed with flu; the cat thoughtfully kept her company during this time).
NONSPECIFIC INSECT INFESTATION
(also NONSPECIFIC SPIDER INFESTATION)
Symptoms: A disorder more prevalent among outdoor-going cats and cats with
access to conservatories and garden rooms. Symptoms range from minor (the
odd greenfly in tail, money-spider on fur) to severe (entire ecosystems of
insects living on cat, spider webs spun between ears/whiskers, cat so
weighed down with spider webs that it has difficulty walking).
Treatment: Minor symptoms can be treated by simply removing the infesting
agent (aphid, ladybug, spider, etc.) and combing webs out of fur. If the cat
suffers recurrent or severe symptoms an exercise regime is highly
recommended since highly mobile cats appear to attract fewer greenfly
(research into this factor continues).
Umuntu Ngumuntu Ngabantu
"Those who look before they leap, never leap".
http://www.dierenthuis-naar-almere.nl