STA Stad & Streek
Ben je trots op je eigen stad, wil je graag ervaringen delen met plaatsgenoten of wil je wat kwijt over de provincie waarin je woont? Ga je binnenkort verhuizen en zoek je info over je nieuwe woonplaats? Dan ben je van harte welkom in Stad & Streek!
Hmmm, mannen + vrouwen: twee grapjes. 
The Husband Store...
A store that sells new husbands has just opened on Oxford St , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
"That's nice", she thinks, "but I want more."
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just a cross the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Being fair about wives
DavidBissonette
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Socrates
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Anonymous
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Sam Kinison
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Anonymous
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
The Husband Store...
A store that sells new husbands has just opened on Oxford St , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
"That's nice", she thinks, "but I want more."
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just a cross the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Being fair about wives
DavidBissonette
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Socrates
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Anonymous
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Sam Kinison
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Anonymous
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
mensen 
Alle hoeren kunnen vertrekken, zolang de man nog z'n handen heeft om zelf te kunnen trekken.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in a large group
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in a large group
Morgen!
"L'homme naît sans dents, sans cheveux et sans illusions, et il meurt le même, sans cheveux, sans dents et sans illusions" - Alexandre Dumas
quote:Op zondag 10 februari 2008 02:55 schreef Walter-Ego het volgende:
Hmmm, mannen + vrouwen: twee grapjes.
I will work to elevate you. Just enough to bring you down
Yes, I'm being condescending. Yes, that means I'm talking down to you
Yes, I'm being condescending. Yes, that means I'm talking down to you
Kiwi's zijn helemaal goedquote:
en grapjes over mannen en/of vrouwen zijn ook vaak leuk
[ Bericht 12% gewijzigd door zeemonster op 10-02-2008 11:19:19 ]
Goeiemorgen
Mad world, Good thing that I'm crazy!
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
hoi
Alle hoeren kunnen vertrekken, zolang de man nog z'n handen heeft om zelf te kunnen trekken.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in a large group
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in a large group
*hardlopen op het strand is*
"L'homme naît sans dents, sans cheveux et sans illusions, et il meurt le même, sans cheveux, sans dents et sans illusions" - Alexandre Dumas
. Thuis!
je moet gewoon LE-ZEN | If you had one chance, one opportunity, to seize everything you ever wanted, in one moment. Would you capture it? Or just let it slip?
Het weekend is bijna voorbij.. nog leuke dingen gedaan?
Ik ben weer helemaal in me nopjes
Ik ben weer helemaal in me nopjes
Camera 1... 1!
Hoi Het was heerlijk op Kijkduin vandaag. Lekker een end gelopen en op een terrasje gezeten. De sproeten komen weer op
Het was heerlijk op Kijkduin vandaag. Lekker een end gelopen en op een terrasje gezeten. De sproeten komen weer op
Oops! Did I just roll my eyes out loud?
♥ Huisje, boompje, fietstas ♥
♥ There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way ♥
♥ Huisje, boompje, fietstas ♥
♥ There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way ♥
Sproetjesquote:Op zondag 10 februari 2008 17:32 schreef m@x het volgende:
Hoi
!!!
je moet gewoon LE-ZEN | If you had one chance, one opportunity, to seize everything you ever wanted, in one moment. Would you capture it? Or just let it slip?
Ik heb je niet eens gezien!!!quote:Op zondag 10 februari 2008 17:32 schreef m@x het volgende:
Hoi
En ik hoorde ook pas vandaag je voicemail van gister
Was vandaag lekker in Hoek van Holland heerlijk weer en wat kwam ik tegen 
heerlijk weer en wat kwam ik tegen Zelf wat foto's geschotenquote:HOEK VAN HOLLAND - Eerst de vader en later een legertje politiemensen hebben zondagochtend in en rond de duinen van Hoek van Holland intensief gezocht naar een 7-jarig jongetje.
Het knaaptje, samen met zijn 35-jarige vader uit Assen op familiebezoek in De Lier, ging met pa een wandeling maken maar was ineens spoorloos. Eerst probeerde de vader zelf zijn kind te vinden maar later schakelde hij de politie in. Lopend, met auto’s en zelf de helikopter werd het gebied afgestruind en uiteindelijk vonden agenten het knulletje in ’s Gravenzande. Daar werd hij weer overgedragen aan zijn dolgelukkige vader.
Ik was ook in Hoek van Holland vandaag... niets gemerkt 
wel heerlijk weer
wel heerlijk weer
Mad world, Good thing that I'm crazy!
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
* ook_gek heeft lekker in bed gelegen tot 16uur whehe
Alle hoeren kunnen vertrekken, zolang de man nog z'n handen heeft om zelf te kunnen trekken.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in a large group
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in a large group
tsss een hele mooie dag voorbij geslapenquote:Op zondag 10 februari 2008 20:15 schreef ook_gek het volgende:
* ook_gek heeft lekker in bed gelegen tot 16uur whehe
Mad world, Good thing that I'm crazy!
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
! Ik ga gewoon mijn bed in, kan mijn ogen niet open houden!
je moet gewoon LE-ZEN | If you had one chance, one opportunity, to seize everything you ever wanted, in one moment. Would you capture it? Or just let it slip?
er zijn nog genoeg andere mooie dagenquote:Op zondag 10 februari 2008 21:40 schreef Chiquitina het volgende:
[..]
tsss een hele mooie dag voorbij geslapen
Alle hoeren kunnen vertrekken, zolang de man nog z'n handen heeft om zelf te kunnen trekken.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in a large group
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in a large group
En we zijn weer aan het werk...
Gloeiende, wéér een koplamp stuk... Kan ik weer die lamp vervangen. Is inmiddels al de derde keer
Gloeiende, wéér een koplamp stuk... Kan ik weer die lamp vervangen. Is inmiddels al de derde keer
"L'homme naît sans dents, sans cheveux et sans illusions, et il meurt le même, sans cheveux, sans dents et sans illusions" - Alexandre Dumas
