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Good evening Achmed.
Good evening, infidel.
So you're a terrorist.
Yes, I'am a terrorist.
What kind of terrorist?
A terrifying...terrorist.
Are you scared?
Not realy no.
Argh. And now?
Not really no.
Argh aargh. How 'bout now?
No.
God dammit!
Oh oh, i mean eh, Allah dammit!
Silence, i kill you!
So eh, Achmed...
No no, is Achmed.
That's what i said.
No you said Achmed, it's Achmed, ch ch ch ch!
Silence, i kill you!
How do you spell it?
What?
How do you, how do you spell your name?
Oh you'l see a A, C, flemggg...
Silence, I kill you!
So achmed, if you are a terrorist i suppose you have some sort of specialty?
Yes, I am a suicide bomber.
Ah, so you're finished?
What?
You you're done your job?
No i haven't.
But, you're dead?
No i'm not. I feel fine.
But you're all bones!
It's a fleshwound.
Silence, i kill you!
What the hell happened to my feet?!
Some of thees, what the hell,
oh wait a minute, what the hell, what are you doing, what is stopping no no
what are you doing?
stop touching me!!
I kill you
All right just hold one, we fix this
Ok wait what are you doing holy crap i'm in the air wait wait
Aha
Wait something is stuckwards holy crap i dont wanna...I need some lediments
Just sit still
Ok I will not move my ass
You idiot, you don't have an ass
Is that walter?
Yeah.
He scares the crap out of me!
Please do not put me back in the suitcase!
Why?
He has gas.
Saddam's musterd gas was nothing compared to a Walter farth.
ahh ahha ahh ahh!
It's not funny, he will kill us!
Allright listen Achmed, i've got something to tell you!
what?
Your realy are dead.
Are you sure? The just got my flu shot!
You really are dead.
Wait, if i'm dead... who, that means I get my 72 virgins!
Are you my virgins?
I hope not.
Why?
There's a bunch off ugly ass guys out there!
If this is paradise, if been screwed!
Well did they say it's were only female virgins?
Holy crap!
Wait, i can have Clay Akon
Ahahahahahaha
I told a joke!
Ai, so listen Achmed, where did you come from?
You're freaking suitcase.
Ahahahaha, I told another one!
Look if you've been in my suitcase all this time how did you get thru security at the airport?
Oh that's easy, they opened the case and I told: helloooo, I am Lindsey Lohan!
Ah, I told another joke! I can do this crap too!
Ok, here's another one. Two judes walk in the bar...
No, no.
what?
No.
What, you don't let judes in your bar? You racist bastard.
What I mean is I don't want rascist jokes in my act.
Oh ok. How'bout if I kill the judes?
No!
I'm kidding. I would not kill the judes. No. I would toss a penny between them and watch them fight to the dead!
Ahahahahaha
Yes, yes, I did the same thing with two catholic priest when I tossed in a small boy!
Ahahahaha
yes, yes, and the winner had to fight Micheal Jackson!
Will you st..
Ahahahaha
Achmed!
What?!
Stop doing this!
Well you can't tell jokes like that!
Why not, I'm killing so to speak.
Well you can't tell jokes like that.
Why?
It offense people.
Oh, I'm dead, what do I care?
What do you want me to do? Knock knock jokes?
Probably better.
Ok, knock knock.
Who's there?
It's me, I kill you.
So look, as a suicide bomber you've got training.
Offcourse, we have the suicide bomber training cab
Ah, is that a nice facility?
It used to be.
What happened?
New guys.
The idiot kind of practice.
What do you guys learned from that?
No casion, no casion, no casion. (??)
So you guys have any kind of motto?
Like what?
You know, like we're looking for a few good man?
We looking for some idiots with no future.
So where do you get your recruits?
The suicide hotline.
Ahahhahah
That was dark was it not?
Hmmhmm.
So what exactly happened to you?
Huh?
What happened?
If you must know, I am a horrible suicide bomber.
What happened?
I had a premature detonation!
I set the timer on 40 minutes but it went of in 4 seconds.
You know what that's like, right?
Mister hurricane?
Ahahahahaha
So Achmed, what exactly happened to you?
Well, I was getting gasoline and I answered my cellphone.
Can you here me now... Pochhh!
At first I thougt it was becouse I was over my minutes.
That's to bad.
It's ok, I took that foreign basterd with me!
So eh, what's it's like to die, do you see a white light?
You think I'm enough to watch the explosion yes?
No some people say that when they die they see a white light. What did you see?
I saw flying carparts.
What was the last thing that went to your mind?
My ass.
Ahahah
Walter told me to tell that joke!
So you never saw a white light?
No but I saw a blue Prius!
Do you really have one of those vehicles?
Yes...
Hahahaha
That is not a car, that's a luchbox.
Did you know when you're going down the highway in a prius if you put your hand at the window the vehicle will turn?
You did al this for a bunch of virgins?
Are you kidding me, I kill you for a klondike bar.
So, I gues you're muslim?
I don't think so.
You're not muslim?
No.
Why?
Look at my ass, it says made in china.
Walter says i'm just a stinking halloween decoration!
Ahahaha
So do you like being in DC?
I think some idiots must live here.
Why?
For example the washington monument.
Yes?
It looks nothing like the guy.
It looks more like a tribute to Bill Clinton!
Ahahahaha
What do you think of Bush?
Oh, I love bu... Oh you mean the president? I'm sorry.
Good evening, infidel.
So you're a terrorist.
Yes, I'am a terrorist.
What kind of terrorist?
A terrifying...terrorist.
Are you scared?
Not realy no.
Argh. And now?
Not really no.
Argh aargh. How 'bout now?
No.
God dammit!
Oh oh, i mean eh, Allah dammit!
Silence, i kill you!
So eh, Achmed...
No no, is Achmed.
That's what i said.
No you said Achmed, it's Achmed, ch ch ch ch!
Silence, i kill you!
How do you spell it?
What?
How do you, how do you spell your name?
Oh you'l see a A, C, flemggg...
Silence, I kill you!
So achmed, if you are a terrorist i suppose you have some sort of specialty?
Yes, I am a suicide bomber.
Ah, so you're finished?
What?
You you're done your job?
No i haven't.
But, you're dead?
No i'm not. I feel fine.
But you're all bones!
It's a fleshwound.
Silence, i kill you!
What the hell happened to my feet?!
Some of thees, what the hell,
oh wait a minute, what the hell, what are you doing, what is stopping no no
what are you doing?
stop touching me!!
I kill you
All right just hold one, we fix this
Ok wait what are you doing holy crap i'm in the air wait wait
Aha
Wait something is stuckwards holy crap i dont wanna...I need some lediments
Just sit still
Ok I will not move my ass
You idiot, you don't have an ass
Is that walter?
Yeah.
He scares the crap out of me!
Please do not put me back in the suitcase!
Why?
He has gas.
Saddam's musterd gas was nothing compared to a Walter farth.
ahh ahha ahh ahh!
It's not funny, he will kill us!
Allright listen Achmed, i've got something to tell you!
what?
Your realy are dead.
Are you sure? The just got my flu shot!
You really are dead.
Wait, if i'm dead... who, that means I get my 72 virgins!
Are you my virgins?
I hope not.
Why?
There's a bunch off ugly ass guys out there!
If this is paradise, if been screwed!
Well did they say it's were only female virgins?
Holy crap!
Wait, i can have Clay Akon
Ahahahahahaha
I told a joke!
Ai, so listen Achmed, where did you come from?
You're freaking suitcase.
Ahahahaha, I told another one!
Look if you've been in my suitcase all this time how did you get thru security at the airport?
Oh that's easy, they opened the case and I told: helloooo, I am Lindsey Lohan!
Ah, I told another joke! I can do this crap too!
Ok, here's another one. Two judes walk in the bar...
No, no.
what?
No.
What, you don't let judes in your bar? You racist bastard.
What I mean is I don't want rascist jokes in my act.
Oh ok. How'bout if I kill the judes?
No!
I'm kidding. I would not kill the judes. No. I would toss a penny between them and watch them fight to the dead!
Ahahahahaha
Yes, yes, I did the same thing with two catholic priest when I tossed in a small boy!
Ahahahaha
yes, yes, and the winner had to fight Micheal Jackson!
Will you st..
Ahahahaha
Achmed!
What?!
Stop doing this!
Well you can't tell jokes like that!
Why not, I'm killing so to speak.
Well you can't tell jokes like that.
Why?
It offense people.
Oh, I'm dead, what do I care?
What do you want me to do? Knock knock jokes?
Probably better.
Ok, knock knock.
Who's there?
It's me, I kill you.
So look, as a suicide bomber you've got training.
Offcourse, we have the suicide bomber training cab
Ah, is that a nice facility?
It used to be.
What happened?
New guys.
The idiot kind of practice.
What do you guys learned from that?
No casion, no casion, no casion. (??)
So you guys have any kind of motto?
Like what?
You know, like we're looking for a few good man?
We looking for some idiots with no future.
So where do you get your recruits?
The suicide hotline.
Ahahhahah
That was dark was it not?
Hmmhmm.
So what exactly happened to you?
Huh?
What happened?
If you must know, I am a horrible suicide bomber.
What happened?
I had a premature detonation!
I set the timer on 40 minutes but it went of in 4 seconds.
You know what that's like, right?
Mister hurricane?
Ahahahahaha
So Achmed, what exactly happened to you?
Well, I was getting gasoline and I answered my cellphone.
Can you here me now... Pochhh!
At first I thougt it was becouse I was over my minutes.
That's to bad.
It's ok, I took that foreign basterd with me!
So eh, what's it's like to die, do you see a white light?
You think I'm enough to watch the explosion yes?
No some people say that when they die they see a white light. What did you see?
I saw flying carparts.
What was the last thing that went to your mind?
My ass.
Ahahah
Walter told me to tell that joke!
So you never saw a white light?
No but I saw a blue Prius!
Do you really have one of those vehicles?
Yes...
Hahahaha
That is not a car, that's a luchbox.
Did you know when you're going down the highway in a prius if you put your hand at the window the vehicle will turn?
You did al this for a bunch of virgins?
Are you kidding me, I kill you for a klondike bar.
So, I gues you're muslim?
I don't think so.
You're not muslim?
No.
Why?
Look at my ass, it says made in china.
Walter says i'm just a stinking halloween decoration!
Ahahaha
So do you like being in DC?
I think some idiots must live here.
Why?
For example the washington monument.
Yes?
It looks nothing like the guy.
It looks more like a tribute to Bill Clinton!
Ahahahaha
What do you think of Bush?
Oh, I love bu... Oh you mean the president? I'm sorry.
Naast Walter, Peanut, Achmed, Sweet Daddy D, Bubba J en Jose Galipenjo On a Stick is er natuurlijk ook nog Melvin the Superhero
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein -
- Albert Einstein -
het is een Suicide Bomber Training Camp en "Location, Location, Location".quote:Op zondag 2 december 2007 12:49 schreef KosterT het volgende:
So look, as a suicide bomber you've got training.
Offcourse, we have the suicide bomber training cab
Ah, is that a nice facility?
It used to be.
What happened?
New guys.
The idiot kind of practice.
What do you guys learned from that?
No casion, no casion, no casion. (??)
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein -
- Albert Einstein -
Thanks!quote:Op zondag 2 december 2007 12:57 schreef Zeus1981 het volgende:
[..]
het is een Suicide Bomber Training Camp en "Location, Location, Location".
Die training camp was wel zo logisch, en die andere hoorde ik gewoon verkeerd...
Verbeter je de rest ook nog even?quote:Op zondag 2 december 2007 12:57 schreef Zeus1981 het volgende:
[..]
het is een Suicide Bomber Training Camp en "Location, Location, Location".
I liked it. I was good at it. It made me feel alive.
Nee, dat waren de enige die ik zo in een oogopslag zag...quote:Op zondag 2 december 2007 13:20 schreef Harajuku. het volgende:
[..]
Verbeter je de rest ook nog even?
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein -
- Albert Einstein -
Dit is wel het minst grappige stuk uit zijn hele "Achmed ..." show, zooo enorm lamequote:Op zaterdag 1 december 2007 18:18 schreef Za-giniipiggu het volgende:
Silence! I kill you, infidel! [ afbeelding ]
En zelf grappen bedenken kan die vent ook al niet, want "Its only a fleshwound" is 100% gejat van Monty Python (quest for the holy grail; gevecht met The Black Knight).quote:Op zondag 2 december 2007 05:31 schreef VoreG het volgende:
[..]
Ja flashwood reuze grappig!.
Het is flesh wound...
Dusss, samenvatting:
1. Eensch is met klacht.
2. Achmed The Dead Terrorrist
Achmed The Dead Terrorrist 
Alleen van die Walter moet ik soms glimlachen. Maar die Achmed, nee, dat gaat nergens over. WTF is er zo grappig aan dat "I kill you"
"Unless you have an IQ higher than mine, I’m not interested in what you think."
Dr. Walter Bishop
Dr. Walter Bishop
quote:Op zaterdag 1 december 2007 18:26 schreef Fiskus het volgende:
[..]
4vwo
De grap van dat I kill you is volgens mij de manier waarop hij het steeds zegt... In het begin is het heel krachtig, maar aangezien niemand bang is van deze "enge terrorist", wordt hij steeds onzekerder.quote:Op zondag 2 december 2007 14:21 schreef Cypress_Hill het volgende:
Alleen van die Walter moet ik soms glimlachen. Maar die Achmed, nee, dat gaat nergens over. WTF is er zo grappig aan dat "I kill you"
Walter is idd heel leuk:
Jeff: So how long have you been married, Walter?
Walter: 45 years
Jeff: And what was the happiest time (of year) of your life?
Walter: 46 years ago.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein -
- Albert Einstein -
Die doen het 'm ja, steeds snel terugkijken met die wenkbrouwen zo omhoog, gewoon superdroog.
Ta mère bien.
Dat heb ik na 2 keer ook wel weer gezien.quote:Op zondag 2 december 2007 16:21 schreef EvilMarc het volgende:
Heb je die wenkbrouwen erbij niet gezien ofzo ?
"Unless you have an IQ higher than mine, I’m not interested in what you think."
Dr. Walter Bishop
Dr. Walter Bishop
geweldig stukkie...
ik heb em gesampled en als beltoon
voor de liefhebber:
http://www.nilestriple.nl/shyte/killyou.mp3
[ Bericht 1% gewijzigd door NielsTriple op 02-12-2007 20:29:19 (url tags gezet) ]
ik heb em gesampled en als beltoon
voor de liefhebber:
http://www.nilestriple.nl/shyte/killyou.mp3
[ Bericht 1% gewijzigd door NielsTriple op 02-12-2007 20:29:19 (url tags gezet) ]
Acht van de negen stemmen in mijn hoofd zeggen me dat ik niet gek ben, de negende neuriet de Tetris melodie.
ɹǝıɥ ɥɔız ʇpuıʌǝq n
ɹǝıɥ ɥɔız ʇpuıʌǝq n
Blijkbaar niet, want je kan nog reageren. Als je dood bent kan je niet reageren.quote:Op zondag 2 december 2007 17:57 schreef motorbloempje het volgende:
heb me doodgelachen
onterechte klacht
Achmed welquote:Op zondag 2 december 2007 19:23 schreef slindenau het volgende:
[..]
Blijkbaar niet, want je kan nog reageren. Als je dood bent kan je niet reageren.
.
heeeej, ik zie et! vreemd... misschien als ik zelf de url tags zet:quote:Op zondag 2 december 2007 20:12 schreef helldeskr het volgende:
www.nilestriple.nl/shyte/killyou.mp3
wtf ?
Hij pakt de extensie niet mee ?
Nieuw scriptje ?
http://www.nilestriple.nl/shyte/killyou.mp3
*edit: nu wel
Acht van de negen stemmen in mijn hoofd zeggen me dat ik niet gek ben, de negende neuriet de Tetris melodie.
ɹǝıɥ ɥɔız ʇpuıʌǝq n
ɹǝıɥ ɥɔız ʇpuıʌǝq n
Ik heb hem ook als beltoon maar eigen sample gemaakt, stuk leuker dan die van jou in iedergeval vind ik
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