quote:
I lost my sunglasses this weekend. I was at a friend's house with two Turkish girls, one of them was called Thelma, (I forgot the other girl's name but it sure as hell wasn't Louise) who sat on the couch smoking pot and talking shit. It was boring as hell, so I went outside, walked a couple of blocks, turned some corners, until I found a small liquor store were I bought a bottle of whisky. Then I went back to the house and told the girls: 'You two are boring the shit out of me. Drink.' I gave them a glass each, which they nipped and nipped and nipped and by the time they were done with their first glass I already finished the entire bottle. I felt sick. I never feld so sick in my entire life. I didn't know what I wanted to do, so I wrote a suicide note in French (God knows why I wrote it in French), got out of the house, lost my lunch, dinner, the whisky and a couple of intestines on the pavement, walked back home, undressed, lied down on the couch and then...I'll be honest with you guys, I stuck a lighter up my ass. First time in my life I did that. I didn't feel good, but it didn't feel particularly bad either. It was OK. Then I tried to masturbate which was very hard. I fell of the couch two times, asleep about five times, and I forgot what the hell I was doing again about twelve times. It took ages, but when I finally came, I really did come. Shot myself right in the face. Then my roommate came home. She saw me there lying on the couch, naked, with a lighter up my ass and cum on my face and said: 'WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING MAN?' I told her: 'Shit. I don't know. I don't know. I think I'm gonna sleep now.' 'YEAH! YOU SHOULD! YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT!'
Next morning I woke up and much to my suprisement I felt OK. No hangover, no headache, no urge to throw up, I felt OK. I went back to my friend's house where I was the night before. I asked the guy: 'Hey, did you see my sunglasses? I think I left them here yesterday.' He said: 'Yeah. Thelma took them with her. She told me you'd know where to find her.' 'OK.' 'So how are you doing buddy?' 'Yeah, I'm OK, I'm OK. You?' 'Fine. I got some good news for you.'
De rest doet er niet zo toe. Dit was donderdagavond. Vrijdagavond was nog een stuk leuker. Zaterdag viel een beetje tegen.
"The world will note that the first atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima, a military base."