Hilarische sport quotes. Om te lachen.

De BBC kwam vandaag weer met een overzicht van quotes van het afgelopen jaar. Er zitten een paar hilarische tussen . Kom je er zo nu en dan eentje tegen, post ze hier . Ik heb die van voetballers uitgefilterd , die vind je hier.


"There were a couple of girls shouting at me from the floor. At first I thought they fancied me but then I worked out they were shouting at me to miss. I don't really listen to women when they shout at me. If I was at home with the wife I'd just go to the bedroom and ignore her."
Peter Manley, runner-up in the PDC World Darts Championship - and evidently living in the 1950s.

"The Americans have started a fightback...and Stewart Cink is literally on fire here today."
Talksport commentator on the Ryder Cup.

"Will Andrew Strauss have a pull or will he put it away for a while?"
Nasser Hussein pondering whether Andrew Strauss would show a bit of self-discipline in his second innings in Brisbane.


"And the winner of the women's race was Deena Kastor with a time of 2 minutes 20."
Sue Barker declares the bionic woman the winner of the London Marathon.

"Manny always performs better with the wood in his hand."
ESPN analyst commenting on Boston Red Sox player Manny Ramirez's fielding errors.

"Gul has another ball in his hand and bowls to Bell who has two."
CMJ on TMS, day two of the Old Trafford Test.

"It's a funny game isn't it? One minute you're a statue, the next you're a pigeon."
Peter Alliss on Tiger Woods losing at the World Match Play Championship at Wentworth.

"A lot of snooker players are too intense and serious. I want to be like Billy the Kid."
Hotshot Ronnie O'Sullivan.

"The scoreboard says I have lost but what it doesn't say is what I have found... you have given me your shoulders to stand on to reach for my dreams. In my last 21 years I have found you and will take the memory of you for the rest of my life."
Andre Agassi gives a retirement speech Hollywood would be proud of.

"I started right after the competition by going to a pub and taking two shots of vodka. After that, I don't know if what has been said is true or not."
Swedish shot putter Jimmy Nordin, who was kicked off his country's European Championship team for being drunk.

"I put on a video of one of his recent fights and it made my eyes water, there were so many low blows. I want a big family so I was straight on the phone to sort out some insurance for my meat and two veg!"
Super featherweight Kevin Mitchell before his Commonwealth title fight with Ghana's George Ashie. Mitchell won the contest on points, with everything intact.

"I hear Peter Ebdon swims a mile every day. That means that in a year he could be 365 miles away. That is the best that we can hope for after this. If this was a boxing match it would have been stopped on Sunday night to spare the fans any more punishment."
Snooker promoter Barry Hearn on the tedious World Championship final between Ebdon and Graeme Dott.

"I think he is taking everyone for a ride. It's fairyland. And given that we are not Snow White and the Seven Dwarves I think that what he did was unsporting and against everything."
Renault boss Flavio Briatore accuses Michael Schumacher of unsporting behaviour to deny Fernando Alonso pole position for the Monaco Grand Prix.

"Hansel and Gretel and Dizzy's double hundred - they're one and the same. An absolute fairytale."
Aussie nightwatchman Jason 'Dizzy' Gillespie on his 200 against Bangladesh.

"It would have been a great week if we could have turned the scoreboard upside down!"
Spaniard Sergio Garcia after finishing second from bottom in the Masters.

"I'm not the biggest fan of Elvis Presley. He's all right, he gets the job done. But he's not quite 50 Cent or Eminem."
Andy Murray disses The King.

"I have thought about dropping an atomic bomb on Sydney but I wouldn't gain anything from it."
Jelena Dokic's father is a tad unhappy about his tennis star daughter's decision to leave Serbia and return to live in Australia.

THE ASHES
"My focus is the next two Tests but then I'll sit back and have a couple of beers and smokes."
Shane Warne on his impending retirement.

"I'm a big believer that the coach is something you travel in to get to and from the game!"
Warne has a dig at Australia coach John Buchanan.

"That's a tough one, isn't it?"
Glenn McGrath when asked which England batsman had caused him most trouble over the years.

"I have prepared for the worst case scenario, but it could be even worse than that."
Monty Panesar on the abuse he could face in Australia.

"We've had the plans for the batsmen pinned up in the toilet area so you can read them when you're having a number two. When we find who nicked the plans we are stringing him up by his ding-dang-dos and we're chopping 'em off."
Matthew Hoggard reacts well to the news that England's bowling plans for Australia had found their way into enemy hands.

"Australia's not all it's made out to be. I'd much rather be on Blackpool beach than Bondi beach."
GB rugby league star Leon Pryce.


"I hope for his sake he has a long and illustrious career. But when he finds out what women are all about we'll see, won't we?"
Martin Adams questions whether new World Masters darts champion Michael van Gerwen, 17, will be able to stay focused on the bullseye as he gets older.

"Is that how I look when I'm drunk?"
A sober (ish) Lee Westwood looks at his Ryder Cup team-mates as they celebrate during the mother of all parties.

"Guinness ability, that's why they picked me for the team, there was no other reason whatsoever."
Darren Clarke gets stuck into the Ryder Cup celebrations.

"I come from the land of Mexican food - Arizona."
US Ryder Cup captain Tom Lehmann.

"People have been asking me what the Irish - in one word - will bring to the Ryder Cup... alcohol. And if I could just add something to that - plenty of it!"
Putts weren't the only thing Paul McGinley was sinking at the K Club.


"He must be amphibious."
Mark James at The Open after Sergio Garcia threw the ball to a person in the crowd with his left hand.