Name: Jim "The Carrier" Norton
Birthday: every day LOLOLOLLOL
Birthplace: mom's cunt
Current Location: closer to a grammar school than allowed by law
Eye Color: bloody-stool brown
Hair Color: also brown
Height: tall enough to get on the rides at Coney Island
Right Handed or Left Handed: tug with my right, asshole tickle with my left
Your Heritage: my Irish great-grandmother was raped by a Hun, which by default makes me a silly goose
The Shoes You Wore Today: patten leather with a buckle, like shirley temple used to wear
Your Weakness: an invalid laying sideways with her mouth open
Your Fears: that I will be overheard making the Yummy noise glancing at an older gentleman in a rest area men's room
Your Perfect Pizza: oven crusted with lightly seared placenta, covered with ostrich shit
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: I'd like to stop needlessly kicking retarded people
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: "If I knew that was your baby, I never would have fucked it"
Thoughts First Waking Up: "Whose black cock is this?"
Your Best Physical Feature: my taint
Your Bedtime: 10 minutes after my tranny movies end
Your Most Missed Memory: being face down in a pillow with whiskey being breathed into my face from the side by my uncle
Pepsi or Coke: hot dog water
MacDonalds or Burger King: MEAT IS MURDER!
Single or Group Dates: I prefer single dates and group shits
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: whatever kind Jim Jones drank
Chocolate or Vanilla: ice cream is for faggots
Cappuccino or Coffee: ice lattes with an extra shot of jizz
Do you Smoke: only when babysitting
Do you Swear: yes, I frequently tell people to "buzz off" and "go jump in a lake"
Do you Sing: I tend to hum Lionel Ritchie songs while I'm being raped
Do you Shower Daily: I prefer to have dogs lick the sweat off my balls and neck
Have you Been in Love: yes, but as soon as my balls emptied I hated her
Do you want to go to College: only if I can major in ass eating
Do you want to get Married: yes, to Laci Peterson
Do you belive in yourself: why the fuck should I?
Do you get Motion Sickness: only when fucking fat girls
Do you think you are Attractive: yes, when compared with burn victims
Are you a Health Freak: I take my AIDS cocktails every day
Do you get along with your Parents: I did until I killed them for insurance money
Do you like Thunderstorms: yes, because they cause youngsters to huddle under my covers
Do you play an Instrument: I play the spoons
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: no, but I've purchased it for minors
In the past month have you Smoked: a salmon and some almonds
In the past month have you been on : cialis
In the past month have you gone on a Date: do prostitutes count?
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yes, to buy my grandmother an athletic supporter
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: why would I eat a box full of black people who act white?
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: it smells like pussy
In the past month have you been on Stage: I am the headliner
In the past month have you been Dumped: yes, on my chest
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: in the kiddie pool
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: 2 babies and a prosthetic cock
Ever been Drunk: one night while driving Billy Martin home
Ever been called a Tease: a cancer patient once called me that while I dangled morphine over his face
Ever been Beaten up: by a couple of concerned parents
Ever Shoplifted: I smuggled a gerbil out of the store in my hiney
How do you want to Die: I want to be sawed in half while blowing Jack Klugman
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: a negro
What country would you most like to Visit: Wyoming
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: black and blue
Favourite Hair Color: green
Short or Long Hair: chemo whispy
Height: under 4 feet
Weight: 75 pounds and willing to vomit
Best Clothing Style: torn off
Number of I have taken: what the fuck does this question mean?
Number of CDs I own: 3, all Huey Lewis
Number of Piercings: clit, but accidentally
Number of Tattoos: either a tear drop on the face or cartoon characters on her cunt lips
Number of things in my Past I Regret: 5,679
http://www.myspace.com/jimnorton
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