- The thing is, the best way to understand Theresa May’s predicament is to imagine that 52 percent of Britain had voted that the government should build a submarine out of cheese.
- Now, Theresa May was initially against building a submarine out of cheese, obviously. Because it’s a completely insane thing to do.
- However, in order to become PM, she had to pretend that she thought building a submarine out of cheese was fine and could totally work.
- "Cheese means cheese," she told us all, madly.
- Then she actually built one.
- It’s shit. Of course it is. For God’s sake, are you stupid? It’s a submarine built out of cheese.
- So now, having built a shit cheese submarine, she has to put up with both Labour and Tory Brexiters insisting that a less shit cheese submarine could have been built.
- They’re all lying, and they know it. So does everybody else. We've covered this already, I know, but it’s cheese and it’s a submarine. How good could it possibly be?
- Only she can’t call them out on this. Because she has spent the past two years also lying, by pretending she really could build a decent submarine out of cheese.
- So that’s where we are.