SPOILER

A Tennessee man was arrested Friday at a Murfeesboro bar on Friday night — following his attempt to initiate sexual congress with an nonreciprocating table and an ATM machine. According to the police report, Lonnie Hutton, 49-years-old, walked up to the ATM at the Boro Bar and Grill and dropped his trousers, exposing himself. Then, drunkenly enacting techniques from the ancient Kama Sutra, proceeded to make a “late night deposit.”

When the police found him, he was wandering around naked from the waste down thrusting his hips in the air. When the officers sat Hutton down at a picnic table, he found the lumber grade to be of his liking and proceeded to have sex with the table. Given this is wood, a joke about nailing or screwing would be appropriate, but one just hopes he went with the grain and didn’t pick up any splinters.

According to News 2, “Hutton smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech, bloodshot eyes and was unsteady on his feet.” He was charged with public intoxication and booked into the Rutherford County jail, and is scheduled to appear in court on July 1. Presumably, his first love, the ATM machine, wasn’t willing to post the $250 bond

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Op donderdag 22 mei 2014 20:13 schreef SgtPorkbeans het volgende:
Dit is al oud nieuws toch

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“Hutton smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech, bloodshot eyes and was unsteady on his feet.”

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Op donderdag 22 mei 2014 22:09 schreef El_Matador het volgende:
Spermabank.

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and proceeded to have sex with the table.

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Op zaterdag 24 mei 2014 11:04 schreef Ulx het volgende:
Meestal naait de bank de klant. Dat een klant probeert een bank te naaien hoor je minder vaak.

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Op donderdag 22 mei 2014 21:35 schreef Pinkelotjeblauw het volgende:
Misschien vindt hij zo,n pinpasgleuf lekker strak. 3 keer foute pincode en dat ding gaat slikken.