een hele leuke sijt, ik zal wat verhaaltjkes posten die het lezen vwaard zijn.

Dear Deborah,

I am a 25 year-old American man trying to please The Lord by living a life of Catholic perfection. I think I am doing okay; your anti-erection ring has worked wonders by helping me to resist the evil temptation of masturbation, and I send all of the heathens, pagans, Jews, and Islamics at work to your site on a regular basis. My problem is actually with my neighbor: he is a 65 year-old AIDS patient with cancer and glaucoma. Now, I know that, since he is infected by HIV, he must have engaged, at one time, in the abominable practice of sodomy, but I still feel sorry for him, and try to help out from time to time. The last time I visited, though, I smelled something funny, a scent I recognized from my days in Vietnam (as a missionary, converting the poor chinks). I believe my neighbor is snorting "pot". Not only I am concerned for his health, but I know this meets with God's disapproval and am deeply troubled that it is happening in my neighborhood (or, as you may say, neighbourhood). Should I alert the authorities? Is my family in any danger from this drug crazed madman?

Awaiting your reply,
Confused in the USA

Dear "Confused in the USA"
You should contact the police immediately if you suspect your neighbour is taking pot. It is one of the most evil substances on the planet and your family is in grave danger as pot addicts are prone to violence and psychotic behaviour. Arm yourself and don't be afraid to shoot your neighbour should he be acting suspiciously.

Do not have a shred of sympathy for him just because he is old and diseased. His body is riddled with AIDS and this can be only contracted through indulging in buggery or injecting drugs. Therefore, your neighbour rejects all of Gods' teachings and he has no morals. Be sure you and your family wash thoroughly and ensure your home is regularly disinfected, just to make sure that his evil viruses cannot find a home. The AIDS virus thrives in dirty locations, such as anal cavities and used syringes.

The best we can do is to pray for his imminent demise, as he is 65 it will be too late to make him repent and it is too dangerous for you to attempt this. Sure you may have braved the savages in Vietnam, but an old age AIDS-infected drug fiend is far to dangerous for you to handle.

Your best move is to call an armed police response unit (is this what you Americans call a SWAT team?), tell them that you live next door to a crazed drug fiend and you fear for your life. Emphasise your work as an evangelist, hopefully they will not ask too many questions and will just turn up and shoot him.

I, and the other members of the BCC, will pray for you so that you have the strength and guidance to sort out this problem.

Deborah

Dear Deborah,

I am writing in regards to my daughter. We are good Catholics, and I have done my best to raise her after her father passed away when she was five years old. She is currently seventeen, and lately I have been catching her masturbating often. I have tried everything from devices to putting things on her fingers, and nothing stops her!

My question is this: Are there any clinics or homes I can send her to where they help with this problem? Would anyone within your organisation be willing to accept her in order to curb this sin? I can pay well for her room and board.

Thank you!

Mrs N. Nasaki

Dear Mrs Nasaki
It's always a terrible shock when we discover our dearest loved children are wicked masturbators, but we should not stop loving them while we can still save them. It is sad to read that though you have brought your daughter up to be a good Catholic she is now under the control of Satan and is being lured into a life of compulsive depravity.

If the devices are not working, the best thing you can do is to send her to us. We have taken in many youths who are on the verge of joining Satan's vile legion of genital stimulators and have turned many around into God-fearing Christians.

If your daughter is unable to control her urges by the age of 18, I recommend you bring her to us. Our program of strict biblical instruction and isolation from the evils of modern living will be ideal in saving her soul. We have access to all the latest anti-masturbation equipment and will do whatever it takes to make your daughter comply. Even the most difficult offenders can be treated if you are willing to sign a consent form that gives us the right to operate on your daughter, as a last resort, should all our other efforts to turn her fail.

I, and the other members of the BCC, will pray for you so that you have the strength and guidance to sort out this problem.

Deborah

Hehe, die hele site is leuk.

Aftrekken zou een duivelse bezigheid zijn, bedankt voor de anti erectie ring Deborah.

Simpele zielen.

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Op zaterdag 27 juli 2002 15:00 schreef DeStedebouwer het volgende:
Ik heb die eerste mail gelezen. Shit man.

Aftrekken zou een duivelse bezigheid zijn, bedankt voor de anti erectie ring Deborah.

Simpele zielen.

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Op zaterdag 27 juli 2002 14:57 schreef LenL het volgende:

[veel tekst]

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En ik maar denken dat deze dag niet zo leuk boeiend zou worden!

* Kyori bedankt Lennart *


[edit]
over The Atheist Movement:

"They want no one to oppose them as they use the internet as a propaganda tool to promote sickening practices such as masturbating and listening to rock music."

OMG!

[Dit bericht is gewijzigd door Kyori op 27-07-2002 15:09]

Die homepage van jou Echt lache!

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Op zaterdag 27 juli 2002 15:07 schreef DeStedebouwer het volgende:
Kweenie maar volgens mij heb ik daar geen zin in.

Die homepage van jou Echt lache!

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[Dit bericht is gewijzigd door SportsIllustrated op 27-07-2002 15:18]

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He despises Satanists, fornicators, homosexuals, goths, criminals, atheists, Jews and scientists, but He is fast loosing patience with fat people who blame their demise on their glands.

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The BCC reject all forms of violence against other people as it runs contrary to Jesus' teachings. However there are cases when violence is justified, for example in the classroom and the courtroom. We support the death penalty and think that as well as murder, treason and male rape, execution should also be applied to crimes such as heresy, blasphemy, witchcraft, vampiricism and lunacy. Heretics, blasphemers and Atheist Movement agents should be publicly burnt at the stake. As Pope Innocent IV decreed, torture can be used to extract confessions from sinners.

"I was a 300lb fatso who used to constantly eat to please Satan. I knew if I was fat when I died I would not fit through the Gates of Heaven, I would be too heavy to sit on a heavenly cloud and my chunky fingers would be unable to pluck the strings of an angelic harp. I did this to ensure I would go to Hell. However I saw the light after reading 'The Shocking Truth' website and became a Catholic. I knew self pity wouldn't make me into a slim person so I bought the 'Jehovah's Fitness' video and within just two months I lost 180lbs. I now have a beautifully toned body that I now know pleases God."
Patsy Barkin, Delaware USA

[Dit bericht is gewijzigd door Wisp op 27-07-2002 15:18]

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Op zaterdag 27 juli 2002 14:57 schreef LenL het volgende:
I believe my neighbor is snorting "pot".

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We have access to all the latest anti-masturbation equipment and will do whatever it takes to make your daughter comply. Even the most difficult offenders can be treated if you are willing to sign a consent form that gives us the right to operate on your daughter, as a last resort, should all our other efforts to turn her fail.

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ze zijn bereid dat meisje gewoon te besnijden, stellertje hoerenneukers!!

walgelijk gewoon... zeker een paar keer teveel dat stoffige dikke boek op hun kop gekregen van hun pa(stoor)

(+44) 0208 045 231.

The lines will be open from Tuesday to Friday, 1000 to 1630 (GMT).

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Op zaterdag 27 juli 2002 15:18 schreef LenL het volgende:
Haha, je kunt ze ook bellen

(+44) 0208 045 231.

The lines will be open from Tuesday to Friday, 1000 to 1630 (GMT).

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dit kan je je toch niet voorstellen mensen, kom op! get a life , ga ff een goed stephen king boek lezen ofzo

- Evil Jewish academic attempts to rubbish Jesus' carpentry skills ()

- Pitt & Johnson: Manufacturers of anti-masturbation equipment and chastity preservation tools

- Constructive Racism

- Arrange your son's castration

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Op zaterdag 27 juli 2002 15:18 schreef dr.dunno het volgende:
Tot hieronder lag ik dubbel, al ben ik zelf vanuit een ver verleden en officieel katholiek...
[..]

ik ben tegen elke vorm van religieus extremisme en zéker die vormen waarbij anderen en met name kinderen de dupe zijn, gvd wat zijn die amerikanen toch ook eikels

ze zijn bereid dat meisje gewoon te besnijden, stellertje hoerenneukers!!

walgelijk gewoon... zeker een paar keer teveel dat stoffige dikke boek op hun kop gekregen van hun pa(stoor)

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Op zaterdag 27 juli 2002 15:20 schreef dr.dunno het volgende:

[..]

LenL, je ondertitel vink wel grappig, zullen wij ze bellen?

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dit kan je je toch niet voorstellen mensen, kom op! get a life , ga ff een goed stephen king boek lezen ofzo

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Op zaterdag 27 juli 2002 15:20 schreef Zander het volgende:
Nog meer *kuch* interessante artikelen van die site:

- Evil Jewish academic attempts to rubbish Jesus' carpentry skills ()

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This deluxe item is used to eradicate lustful thoughts from the wearer. The helmet monitors brain waves and emits a nausea-inducing low frequency when sexual thoughts are detected. The wearer can be "tempted" with images of a sexual nature by looking into a visor (sold separately).

The perfect item to test whether your child is pure in thought.

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he doesn't want no one inside when he's working and now i know why! one evening i've discovered him using his hand to masturbate his member while readin a magazine. luckily he hasn't see me. I was shocked!! The day after when he was at work i searched in the box and i 've found a lot of those disgusting magazines.

I was really really shocked. From then i stopped to sleep with him. Now i want to say and i hope to not be insulted, that i believe that sex between a man and a woman, must be only for procreation. and for nothing else. and from when our first daughter has born, i've started to often sleep with her in her bedroom. and so on and also in these days i do the same. and after the discover i always sleep with my daughters. i am disgusted by him, i don't want to be touched by him, and when he touches our daughters with his dirty onanist hands i must force myself to not shout!!!!

Anna,
this is one of the most disgusting stories I have ever read. Your husband is a sick pervert. I know you want to help him, but you must consider the facts: this is a man who works 12 hours a day doing manual labour yet he still has enough energy when he comes home to masturbate. I think he might be addicted, obviously his evil habit has never been checked and he has always found ways to satisfy his sick compulsion. You are quite right not to sleep with him and you must do your utmost to keep his big filthy masturbatory hands off your poor children.

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[Dit bericht is gewijzigd door Wisp op 27-07-2002 15:27]

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Op zaterdag 27 juli 2002 15:23 schreef Zander het volgende:
Het ligt er hier ook wel heel dik bovenop dat je die verhaaltjes met een klein korreltje zout moet nemen... wel een grappige site verder.

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Op zaterdag 27 juli 2002 15:23 schreef Zander het volgende:
Het ligt er hier ook wel heel dik bovenop dat je die verhaaltjes met een klein korreltje zout moet nemen... wel een grappige site verder.

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deze site is misschien dan wel een complete hoax net als www.manbeef.com , maar amerikanen zijn mafkezen en er zijn zat mensen die echt zo denken, vergis je daar niet in

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Op zaterdag 27 juli 2002 15:26 schreef Wisp het volgende:

[..]

haha arme kerel, vind je het gek dat je gaat rukken als je zo'n vrouw hebt

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The BCC, together with Pitt & Johnson, are currently working on a new range of anti-masturbation devices, some of which are designed for females. We hope to have them available shortly as they are currently being tested in Kosovo

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Op zaterdag 27 juli 2002 15:31 schreef Wisp het volgende:

[..]

hehe

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* LenL is gedwongen gereformeerd

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Those of you who think it's funny hiding razor blades in the envelopes, read this: We are now getting our children to open all our mail, so every time one of you sick fiends sends a blade in the post you are cutting the little fingers of a child.

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"Buying the anti-masturbation pants made a drastic improvement to our son's life. No longer does he stay indoors playing with himself. He is a much healthier boy now who spends most of his time outdoors with a group of friends who beat up blacks and homosexuals."
Mr & Mrs Bishop, Texas USA

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[Dit bericht is gewijzigd door Sakura op 27-07-2002 15:41]

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Dear Deborah,

I'm 18 years old and I live in New York city the spawning ground for all evil in the world and I'm deeply concerned for my sister who's 16 years old and is dating a black man! What should I do I know she engages in sexual activities with this subhuman because I hear her cries in the night. I know she's confused and misguided and just following the example set by my mother who left my father for and Arab man. I am very very concerned for my little sister but every time I confront her she argues the point of equality and how he loves her, but I know that these are the ramblings of someone high on marijuana and malt liquor that fills the ghettos where this horrible man is from what should I do? Should I abandon my sister? I pray for her every night. What should I do? Please answer me I need your help.

Don

Dear Don
A truly disturbing story. You are quite right to be concerned about your sister for dating a black man, I can think of nothing more abhorrent! I would be furious were one of my children ever date a black person, there is nothing more evil than race-mixing. I say that not because I am a racist but for other obvious reasons. If this practice were to spread could you imagine the horror? The white race would be extinct and the world would be full of half castes. It does not bear thinking about.

To stop this nightmare becoming a reality race-mixing should not be tolerated. Your own mother has set you and your sister a terrible example by getting together with an Arab, one of the most dangerous and evil races stalking the earth.

As you know there are two types of black person: the minority "good blacks" are respectable people who go to church to worship the Christian God, have good jobs and adopt the ways of the white man. But the man your sister is with sounds to me like one of the "bad blacks" a surly, maligned individual with an attitude problem who lives in a wasteland, takes drugs, despises white people and on the rare occasions when the talks tries to sound like a Jamaican. _{ik zou hierom lachen als het voorgaande er niet stond} If he isn't dead or in prison by the time he is 25 he will find God, but not the Christian one as he will join the sinister Nation of Islam.

A course of action I would recommend would be to contact your local Ku Klux Klan as they might be able to help you, but I am not sure whether the organisation has branches in New York. Otherwise pretend to give your approval to the relationship and ask your sister's boyfriend to supply you with drugs. When you know he will be carrying drugs phone the police and inform them you know of an evil black drug-dealing cop killer. Tell the police you have set him up and he will definitely be carrying drugs. The police should give him a good beating and arrest him, but knowing the New York police they will probably shoot him first for being black.

I, and the other members of the BCC, will pray for you so that you have the strength and guidance to sort out this problem.

Deborah

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Wat trouwens ook wel een 'leuke' site is, en wel serieus bedoeld, is "Christian Spotlight on the Movies". De recensenten daar vonden zelfs 'The Piano' en 'Magnolia' zedenloze films.

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Op zaterdag 27 juli 2002 15:41 schreef Zander het volgende:
Natuurlijk bestaan er ook echt fanatieke religieuze types, maar het sarcasme ligt er hier zo dik bovenop...

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weet je zeker dat je niet toevallig hoopt dat het niet zo is?

vraag me af wat ze van CoF vinden

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Op zaterdag 27 juli 2002 15:46 schreef dr.dunno het volgende:
weet je zeker dat je niet toevallig hoopt dat het niet zo is?

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Op zaterdag 27 juli 2002 15:06 schreef Kyori het volgende:

[..]

[afbeelding].

En ik maar denken dat deze dag niet zo leuk boeiend zou worden!

* Kyori bedankt Lennart *


[edit]
over The Atheist Movement:

"They want no one to oppose them as they use the internet as a propaganda tool to promote sickening practices such as masturbating and listening to rock music."

OMG!

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misschien toch maar ff voor de zekerheid erbij zeggen dat the shocking truth gewoon als grap bedoeld is...? alhoewel er dus wel ook echt mensen zijn die zo denken

[Dit bericht is gewijzigd door sweek op 27-07-2002 15:51]

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Tell the police you have set him up and he will definitely be carrying drugs. The police should give him a good beating and arrest him, but knowing the New York police they will probably shoot him first for being black.

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The BCC reject all forms of violence against other people as it runs contrary to Jesus' teachings.

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Op zaterdag 27 juli 2002 15:51 schreef Wisp het volgende:
ze spreken elkaar ook nogal tegen steeds
[..]

[..]

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http://free.freespeech.org/shockingtruth/bradpitt.html
http://free.freespeech.org/shockingtruth/spice.html
http://free.freespeech.org/shockingtruth/exposed2.html
http://free.freespeech.org/shockingtruth/placebo.html

om ff aan te tonen nogmaals dat dit NIET serieus bedoeld is allemaal

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Op zaterdag 27 juli 2002 15:41 schreef Postduif het volgende:
Kan de topictitel aub veranderd worden, want dit is _NOGAL_ generaliserend or whatever you want to call it.

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Molko also plans to release 666 albums before the band split up. So far they have released three, but the potential to make another 663 exists as Molko has recorded numerous albums of whistling that his record company are unwilling to release at the present.

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Your best move is to call an armed police response unit (is this what you Americans call a SWAT team?), tell them that you live next door to a crazed drug fiend and you fear for your life. Emphasise your work as an evangelist, hopefully they will not ask too many questions and will just turn up and shoot him

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Op zaterdag 27 juli 2002 16:52 schreef ToXiCitY het volgende:

[..]

Wat willen ze nou, dat je lief bent voor je naasten of dat je iedereen die ook maar een klein beetje iets verkeerd doet gelijk maar moet laten afknallen door een zootje SWAT?? Ze kunnen heel Nederland dan wel platbombarderen omder het mom van "crazed drugs people". Ik heb helemaal geen problemen met gelovigen (behalve als ze -lees: Jehova's- je dingen gaan opdringen) maar dit zijn gewoon wereldvreemde randdebielen.

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Op zaterdag 27 juli 2002 15:17 schreef Wisp het volgende:
[afbeelding]

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AM10: Vaginal juices detection cream - £9.99
- apply to hands, underwear or cucumbers to detect traces of vaginal juices
- cream will turn purple if it comes into contact with vaginal juices

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Op zaterdag 27 juli 2002 20:03 schreef schatje het volgende:

[..]

Dale Winton, openlijk homosexueel, is een presentator bij de BBC!!

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Op zaterdag 27 juli 2002 15:11 schreef LenL het volgende:

[..]

homepage van wie?

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first noticed that there was something peculiar about Mr Pitt when I watched one of his films, Thelma and Louise. Every time he appeared in a scene I noticed that my penis became erect. Now I am not a homosexual, so I can only assume that it was an example of Pitt's sinister mind control technique.

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Op zaterdag 27 juli 2002 23:13 schreef xman het volgende:

[..]

Zie je ik wist wel dat er meer aan de hand was

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Brad Pitt even uses his Satanic powers to disrupt my sleep. He enters my dream in spirit form and persuades me to participate in detestable practices with him. He only does this to cause me embarrassment in the morning. My bed sheets are never out of the washing machine since Mr Pitt started using his powers on me.

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We have access to all the latest anti-masturbation equipment and will do whatever it takes to make your daughter comply.

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[Dit bericht is gewijzigd door Basson op 28-07-2002 01:49]

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Op zondag 28 juli 2002 01:47 schreef Hiawatha het volgende:
Holy shit, wat een een enge berichten. Ik was al tegen geloof, maar na het lezen van dit soort berichten wordt mijn afkeer van geloof alleen maar groter. Wat een ontzettende wereldvreemde sukkels!! Wel typisch dat het weer Amerikanen zijn...

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Have you ever wanted your son to have an outstanding voice in the choir? Does the thought that one day your son might indulge in the sickening habit of masturbation disturb you? Well now thanks to the work of Dr Martin Pew and with the help of the British Conservative Catholics we can offer you a service that will improve your son's singing voice and will also ensure he never masturbates: castration.

Although castration has been forbidden in the western countries since the last century, it is still legal in the small island of St Egdums' which is located in the Pacific Ocean south of Hawaii. This is where Dr Pew's (pictured on right) surgery can be found and, in conjunction with the BCC, we are making it possible for parents all over the world to raise their sons as castrati.

The last occidental castrato died in 1922 and I have spoken to many priests who bemoan the fact that castration is illegal. What church would not be proud to boast of a choir full of castrati? In the last centuries, boys who were castrated were famous for their magnificent voices. Due to the surgical intervention they had undergone, their voices did not change with puberty. As they grew older their lung capacity, chest's size, physical endurance and strength were generally greater than those of the normal male. As a result they were able to sing very powerfully.

Who knows, perhaps after your son has been castrated he could be the next Farinelli? We urge all parents to consider having their sons castrated by Dr Pew who offers a safe and inexpensive service. It has been a very long time since the world heard the unique voice of a castrato and with proper training your son could sing the magnificent operatic pieces of the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries.

Not only will your son have a special voice but he will never be able to pleasure himself with the dirty, depraved and horrible practice of masturbation. I'm sure that any Catholic boy would be delighted to undergo this operation. So don't hesitate parents, arrange your son's castration now by clicking on the MERCHANDISE section of this site.

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The next time something queer happened to me was when I went to the cinema to see Interview with the Vampire . I should point out that I only went to see this film for educational purposes, I wanted to research for an article on how flirting with issues such as vampirism and the undead in popular culture was dangerous.

I don't know what happened when I was in the cinema, but my suspicions about Brad Pitt proved to be correct. The film started and I blacked out. The next thing I remembered was being ejected from the place with my trousers covered in semen. Obviously evil Mr Pitt had made a demon possess my body and perform an act of shame in a public place. I know this is the case because I am not a homosexual.

The misery doesn't stop there, as well as having the overwhelming urge to masturbate whenever I see Brad Pitt, I also face abuse from his minions. I have to walk past construction workers when I go to work and I am constantly taunted with wolf-whistles. They are sick! I strut like a man and look very masculine with my neatly trimmed moustache and a tight white vest over my puffed out chest. I am a paragon of masculinity and am not a homosexual.

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"I strut like a man...": een vrouw?

Het zal wel aan mij liggen, maar is de schrijver nu een man of een vrouw?

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Op zondag 28 juli 2002 12:02 schreef Hiawatha het volgende:
"I know this is the case because I am not a homosexual.", in combinatie met Brad Pitt: een man?

"I strut like a man...": een vrouw?

Het zal wel aan mij liggen, maar is de schrijver nu een man of een vrouw?

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Op zaterdag 27 juli 2002 21:59 schreef DeStedebouwer het volgende:

[..]

Van jou.

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Dr Martin Pew's surgery is located on the island of St Egdums', one of the few places where castration can be carried out legally. Dr Pew will castrate any boys under the age of 3 years, as if the operation is carried out at an older age the child could be traumatised and grow up disturbed by the experience.

We are aware that a plane trip to St Egdums' would be arduous and expensive, so the BCC and Dr Pew have a created a special mail order service. All you have to do is to post your son to us in a specially prepared parcel available from the BCC and we will take care of the rest. Make sure you use plenty of bubble wrap and a generous amount of cotton wool. And don't forget the air holes! It might also be an idea to mark you parcel "fragile".

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BK516: "Mein Kampf for Children"
by Tobias Depson & Adolf Hitler
£7.00
127 pages - paperback cover
An edited version of Adolf Hitler's classic. With cartoons, puzzles and quizzes to stimulate the inquisitive young mind and keep him interested in Nazi race theories and the Jewish Problem.

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deze video mag toch niet in je collectie ontbreken...

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Op zondag 28 juli 2002 23:13 schreef cptmarco het volgende:
[afbeelding]

deze video mag toch niet in je collectie ontbreken...

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Op zaterdag 27 juli 2002 15:41 schreef Zander het volgende:
Natuurlijk bestaan er ook echt fanatieke religieuze types, maar het sarcasme ligt er hier zo dik bovenop...

Wat trouwens ook wel een 'leuke' site is, en wel serieus bedoeld, is "Christian Spotlight on the Movies". De recensenten daar vonden zelfs 'The Piano' en 'Magnolia' zedenloze films.

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Casper het Vriendelijke Spookje: (very offensive) "While angels are definitely at work in the world, few are seen as clearly as these Hollywood ghosts are. My biggest gripe with this movie is about 10 uses of curse words or crude references!"

DrDolittle (very offensive) "Dolittle reminds his daughter the importance of being and loving yourself. It is also from this experience that he finds this needs to hold true for himself as well. I would have told her to NOT be like herself, but to be like Christ. (...), with the furry critter's display of rudeness, vulgarity and arrogance, they almost seemed human and this alone may be just enough for some to stay away from this movie."

Shakespeare in Love is 'Extremely Offensive' want "There is some language and a scene of violent swordplay, but neither element is omnipresent in the film. Still, there is the omnipresent and bothersome sexuality"

Rain Man is 'Very Offensive', "Warnings: Charlie is foul-mouthed, using "F*" early and often. There's a very brief glimpse of Charlie's girlfriend as she gets out of the bathtub and puts on her robe. We hear her and Charlie making love under the covers"

Hahaha, dit is echt humor van de allerbovenste (dikkeboeken-)plank.

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Op zaterdag 27 juli 2002 14:57 schreef LenL het volgende:
http://free.freespeech.org/shockingtruth/

< LAP TXT >

Hehe, die hele site is leuk.

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Sorry dat ik het zeg hoor maar asl ik dit lees kan ik hét geloof toch echt niet serieus nemen!
Er zijn heel wat kortzichtige mensen op deze aardkloot en voor sommige mensen heb ik echt medelijden... En mensen die dit soort extreem gedrag aan de dag leggen maken mij echt fok!ing boos