=====

If I ever gotta get married, I'm 'ma go to the woods of Africa... and find me a crazy, naked ZEBRABITCH.
Gotta be butt-nacked, on a zebra.
With a big bone through her nose, and a big plate lip... and a big FUCKED UP afro!
And I'm 'ma bring her home, and lock her up.
'Cos you can't let her mingle with American women, 'cos they'll be comin' in your kitchen, talk to your woman, and throw a monkeywhrench in your whole program!

=====

-Come and give your aunt Bunny a Kiss
-Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
-What's the matter honey? Why won't you give your aunt Bunny a kiss?
-Whaaaaaaa... She's got a moustache!

=====

Venereal disease ain't what it used to be. VD is new and improved now.
When back in the day you had gonorrhea, you'd go to the docter, get a shot, clear it right up.
Then they came out with herpes. You keep that shit forever, like luggage.
And now they got aids.
That scares me. Aids just kills motherfuckers...
I say, what's next? I guess you just put your dick in and explode.
And the girl be laying on the bed going: "Maybe I should see a docter about this".

=====
_{Quotes zijn overigens "uit het hoofd", dus kunnen net iets afwijken als je de videoband er bij op zou zetten...}

Wie vult aan......

i got an icecream you can't afford it
you can't afford it
you can't afford it
cos yer daddy is an alcoholic

quote:

---

Op donderdag 20 juni 2002 17:36 schreef Pushit het volgende:
GI Joe is swimming under water.....
and then the big brown shark came.....

---

No, i´ve got fire shooting out of my dick!

men broer is em kwijtgeraakt

quote:

---

Kill the white people, ohhoooh.
We gonna make them hurt.
Kill the white people, yeaheah.
But buy my record first, ohhooh, yeaheah.
Why don't you buy my record.

---

--edit--
typo

quote:

---

Op donderdag 20 juni 2002 17:39 schreef Sjaakman het volgende:

[..]

..and he started to venture into the cave from whench they came....
And GI Joe got stuck, and GI Joe got stuck in the water

---

quote:

---

Op donderdag 20 juni 2002 17:56 schreef Tain het volgende:

[..]

Van 1 van zijn soort Comedy Factory optredens

--edit--
typo

---

die was ,niet zo goed vond ik
maareh jive jones , how to be a ho

foepfoepfoepfoep BANG !!

eddiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee, met zo'n lange diepe stem
zoiets ongeveer, moet em dringend ergens vinden (= kopen )

ik moet nog es goed kunnen lachen

weet iemand of ik die ergens in eindhovzn kan vinden ?

[doe ik niet maar doe maar net alsof het er wel staat]

Eddie: No I didn't....

Mr. T: Maybe you didn't...I'm gonna beat up the fool who told me them lies!

De "Jedi mindtrick"

tegen Stevie Wonder: Steve, you know you're my boy and everything, but you know all that singing 'n shit...you don't impress me...

You wanna impress me, take thw wheel for a while, motherfucker!

quote:

---

Op donderdag 20 juni 2002 18:19 schreef ASSpirine het volgende:
in een micheal jackson mietjes stem
tito, stop picking on me...

---

quote:

---

Op donderdag 20 juni 2002 18:09 schreef ASSpirine het volgende:
en als oemfoefoe tegen hem praat

eddiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee, met zo'n lange diepe stem
zoiets ongeveer, moet em dringend ergens vinden (= kopen )

ik moet nog es goed kunnen lachen

weet iemand of ik die ergens in eindhovzn kan vinden ?

---

quote:

---

Op donderdag 20 juni 2002 18:56 schreef shmoopy het volgende:
"It wasn't me."

---

bij welke was het ?
raw of delirious ?

quote:

---

Op donderdag 20 juni 2002 18:58 schreef ASSpirine het volgende:

[..]

shaggy ?

bij welke was het ?
raw of delirious ?

---

"Then they smiled at me and said 'goenigoegoe'.....
What the FUCK does goenigoegoe mean ?"

"Hey Eddie Murphy! FUCK YOU!
Fuck you Eddie... I know you...
I see you on television...
Your the FUCKY man right ? Ah I love it !
Hey suck my dick eh ! Suck it you black motherfucker !!"

"Camatamalada people say... U-HEH...
HEEEEEEEY...
That's a James Brown lyric.. He wrote that shit. James writing a song going 'hey I need a word here... HEEEEEEEEY... yeah that's pretty good!"

"Mick Jagger's lips are so big, black people be goin' 'you got some bigass lips"

"Hey boy slow down. Don't go messin' 'round and come too fast. I'll clinch up my buttcheeks and rip your dick off!!"

"18 year old in the audience can I hear you ??"
* iedereen juicht *
"yeah see, you all don't know how to fuck yet..."

such as my favourite president Abraham Lincoln, i hold here in my hands the copy of the slavery law, and as i discovered... he didn't sign it

(audience laughs)

i don't think that's funny, cause technicaly this means i'm your slave and you are slave owners

If you walk on the street tomorrow and you want yourself a black nigro, by all means, take him home with you

But grabbing a black man on the street is as you know very dangerous
I understand that not all black nigros watch this program, so we need a password, and that is : Hey you Alabama porch monkey, come home with me

if he comes with you, that means he saw it and by all means, enjoy yourself with your slave

but if he answers: SAY WHAT ?!
you'd better give him 50 bucks and run for your live

(best of eddie murphy saturday night live)

die liedjes die hij in het begin van die video zingt als buckweat
je versta er echt niets van, en die ondertitling ???

quote:

---

Op donderdag 20 juni 2002 17:56 schreef Tain het volgende:

[..]

Van 1 van zijn soort Comedy Factory optredens

---

#reggae muziek#
And then we'll kill the white people....
But buy my record first.
#reggae muziek#

Ik heb die "Best of Eddie Murphy's Saturday night live" videoband.

quote:

---

Op donderdag 20 juni 2002 17:58 schreef ASSpirine het volgende:

[..]

and then my mom walks into the bathroom and see my brother lying in the water and me with a GI JOE up my ass

---

quote:

---

Op donderdag 20 juni 2002 17:59 schreef ASSpirine het volgende:

[..]

saturday night fever of zoiets...

die was ,niet zo goed vond ik
maareh jive jones , how to be a ho

---

quote:

---

Op donderdag 20 juni 2002 19:18 schreef Danny het volgende:

[..]

Volgens my delirious.
"yeah I fucked her. I make loooove to you..."

---

quote:

---

Op donderdag 20 juni 2002 21:34 schreef ASSpirine het volgende:
< KNIP >
die liedjes die hij in het begin van die video zingt als buckweat
je versta er echt niets van, en die ondertitling ???

---

[coole "gangsta" stem]
If I would have been on the streets and shit, and somebody would come up to me and say: "Hey yo nigga, bail this cotton", I would say "SUCK my dick master".
[/coole "gangsta" stem]

The first dude who came of the boat said that shit...
-"Bail this cotton"
-"Fuck you motherfucker!"
#geluid van een zweep#
-"Dude, we'll bail the shit"

quote:

---

Op donderdag 20 juni 2002 18:00 schreef monkee het volgende:
my mom could throw her shoe like a fucking boomerang!!

foepfoepfoepfoep BANG !!

---

quote:

---

Op donderdag 20 juni 2002 18:35 schreef jerney het volgende:

[..]

EDDIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!! YOU TREAT ME LIKE ANIMAL!

---

- (uit raw als hij in losangeles is geloof ik) flikkerpolitie :> woehoeoeoeooeoe pull over

You Dropped your Ice Cream...
You Dropped Your Icecream!!

etc...

[/showbizz holywood sing-along style]

"Say norton ; how would you like to fuck me up the ass ? See i know you wanna, and you know that i know that you wanna. So norton ; I'm gonna bend over, and when i do, start fucking !"

Die is echt geweldig!
Zal morgen eens de quotes posten, nu slaap

quote:

---

Op maandag 24 juni 2002 00:47 schreef Bass het volgende:
because, you are on the weeeeelfare
wanna lick ? zoink !

---

quote:

---

"Say norton ; how would you like to fuck me up the ass ? See i know you wanna, and you know that i know that you wanna. So norton ; I'm gonna bend over, and when i do, start fucking !"

---

quote:

---

Hammena-hammena-hammena-hammena-hammena!

---

What have YOU done for ME lately?

I don't see no ring on my finger!!

Ediieee, I want to talk to you Eddiiee, I don't like the way you treat me Edddiieee, You treat me like animaaal, Eddiieee, I want Half!!!

_{uit Raw of Delirious, dat ie het heeft over dat je vandaag de dag er niet meer op los kunt neuken door alle ziektes die er rondzwerven}

puhlll ovehr, puhlll ovehr

quote:

---

Op donderdag 19 september 2002 16:59 schreef vijv het volgende:
OeeeeeeeewOeeeeeeewOeeeeeeeew

puhlll ovehr, puhlll ovehr

---

quote:

---

Op donderdag 20 juni 2002 18:35 schreef jerney het volgende:

[..]

EDDIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!! YOU TREAT ME LIKE ANIMAL!

---

"Hey little guy, just seen rocky"

doctor i've got a nasty disease on my dick. Doc: you 've got a burning sensation while peeing? No asshole! there are flames comming out of my dick!!1!#~$~@%^%~~%

quote:

---

Op vrijdag 20 september 2002 10:31 schreef japy het volgende:
murphy coming to a doctor:

doctor i've got a nasty disease on my dick. Doc: you 've got a burning sensation while peeing? No asshole! there are flames comming out of my dick!!1!#~$~@%^%~~%

---

Fire shoot out my dick.
My dick is a blowtorch.
I can't even pee inside the house, I'd burn the house down.
I have to go outside and pee.

I'm gonna moonwalk all up and down yo ass!

Over z'n voorprogramma ( delerious )

The busboys fuck everything that moves. If they come to my house, the fish stop moving.

III would like to talk to yoooouuuu.... Abooouuut some of the thiiiings that you do in your show... NOW!!!!!

[/Bill Cosby mode]

[horror films]
when a white man sees blood in the toilet, he be going:
"hmm, that's peculiar"
[/horror films]

[saturday night live]
I WAS THE FIFTH BEATLE!!
[/saturday night live]

[buckwheat sings]
oona panoona bankaaaa

wookin' pa nub in aw the wong paces, wookin' pa nuuub

am da barba ob dabil, bigaro, bigaro

fee times a mady
[/buckwheat sings]

Suck my dick eddiieee

Uit Coming to America, de scene in het zwembad als er opeens een vrouw boven water komt.

Man die shows die roeleren !!!!

"I thought I saw a bone in your shoe..."

"a woman with a big plate lip, a bone trough her nose and a BIG FUCKED UP AFRO !"

"she leaves me standing in the kitchen with a naked bushbitch, and a attitude..."

"Eddy !!! Eddy!!! you treat me like animal!!!"

"cos you got a welfare burger..."

* SpikeAlike fluit liedje van clint eastwood

"why did you eat the icecream of the floor?"

" I like to watch mothers loose it and beat their kids..."

"but I wan't mcdonalds hamburger.."

kan nog wel uren doorgaan

Mr T....

"hey boy! you look mighty cute in them jeans!
Why don't you bent over and..."

"I'm gonna beat up the fool that told me lies..."

lydia...

"respect eddy.. R. E .S .S .E .C .P. T respect eddy"

"It's my house and if you don't like it, get the fuck out !"

richard prior

" why does shit be teasing your ass? just get the fucker out right ?"

"and what is really fucked up when your ass don't cooperate and break the shit in half... you'd be mad because you know you'll be wiping your ass for like five hours and shit..."

"you know you'd be straining for a long time and this one piece of pebble comes out, piece some shit this big right... well put your head up your ass then and say, is that all I'm gonna get motherfucker ?"

"afterwards right, afterwards you've done all the shitting you'd gonna do for the whole day and you'd flush the toilet and wait a second.

one chunk comes back... what does that chunk want ? "

Ik hou nu maar op, maar mijn dag is weer goed

quote:

---

Op woensdag 14 mei 2003 10:43 schreef GhostMan84 het volgende:

[horror films]
when a white man sees blood in the toilet, he be going:
"hmm, that's peculiar"
[/horror films]

[buckwheat sings]
oona panoona bankaaaa

wookin' pa nub in aw the wong paces, wookin' pa nuuub

am da barba ob dabil, bigaro, bigaro

fee times a mady
[/buckwheat sings]

---

Give me the gasoline and the match...
Now, That's a FIRE!

Ohw no problems for your cousin,

just roll him around on the lawn!

quote:

---

Op dinsdag 20 mei 2003 12:58 schreef SpikeAlike het volgende:

[..]

Welke show was dit ? dat van die horror film ken ik nog wel.. maar ik geloof niet dat dat uit raw of delirious was... ik geloof dat het over the poltergeist ging he ?

---

dat andere stuk is van saturday night live

quote:

---

Op zondag 18 mei 2003 18:07 schreef fratsman het volgende:
"Lydia! The bitch is falling off the stairs again!"

---

"I'm halfway down now!"

ode

"I just came here to say, my daughters in the tv-set. That you don't think I killed her or anything, but I came home and she was in the TV."

-"But Mr. Murphy, didn't you try to save your daughter?"

"Hey, I ain't no cable repair man. I tried to switch the channel, shit didn't work, I got the fuck out!"

"little white dude walked up to me and said:
this your suitcase?
YEAH THAT'S MY FUCKING BAG!
WHY MOTHERFUCKER?
A BLACK MAN CAN'T HAVE A SUITCASE?"

Goenigoegoe!

[girlfriend]
-Hey baby, where you going?
-Excuse me?
-I said, where you going?
-You don't own me.
-You my woman, ain't ya?
-I don't see no rings on these fingers! First of all, let me tell you something. I never answered to my father and I ain't answering to no man either. There's nothing that a man can do that I can't do for myself. I'm my own person.
And men hear all that shit and they just go "okay"
-But where you gonna be?
-I'm a be where I'm at!
[/girlfriend]

_{denk dat Bombie nog wel wat te melden heeft over Dexter St. Jock}

....That Michael is a special kinda guy.......

....What the fuck is James saying? I don't know man but he pays...keep playing......

.....I believe that children are our future....teach them well and......let them leave the way..... Deze moet je echt horen pm te kunnen lachen

Heb RAW zeg met vanmiddag via P2P gedownload nadat ik dit topic had gezien. Fantastico!

The best of Saturday nightlife heb ik op video. Supert

"be somebody.... be a ho"

....gimme some of those and box of juicyfruits....and the mooly is gonna pay for it

say what!!

gotta love Eddy

quote:

---

Op woensdag 21 mei 2003 02:08 schreef djbambam het volgende:
...and If I took Brooke Shields to the grammy's you all lose your mind......because you all know Brook will get fucked that night.....

---

quote:

---

Op dinsdag 20 mei 2003 19:23 schreef Fling het volgende:
_{denk dat Bombie nog wel wat te melden heeft over Dexter St. Jock}

---

Dexter's the man, no?

quote:

---

Op dinsdag 20 mei 2003 23:27 schreef Nimitz het volgende:
MEESTERLIJK!

Heb RAW zeg met vanmiddag via P2P gedownload nadat ik dit topic had gezien. Fantastico!

---

quote:

---

The best of Saturday nightlife heb ik op video. Supert

"be somebody.... be a ho"

---

*zingt* (op melodie van Little Richard's Tutti Frutti)

I know a girl, named Daisy.
The girl is fat and lazy.

She got flaps to the east,
Flaps to the west,
The bitch got long ass flappy breasts.

quote:

---

Op woensdag 21 mei 2003 02:09 schreef Bombie het volgende:

[..]

WELL!
[..]

"What yer crying 'bout?
I would make love to you con-stant-LY."

Dexter's the man, no?

---

And she comes back from the Bahama's floating on air, singing "I shot the sheriff".
And you think it was the weather, so you say "Hey baby. You need to get away more often".
And she be going like "Uhuh".

[american black momma stem]
I can't believe that motherfucker did this to me!

"heel snel gepraat als een amerikaanse black momma"... him and his fat bitch, he's got a whole alot of nerve. you know what... a... a..... HALF. I take half his shit!
[/american black momma stem]

foepfoepfoepfoep

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You missed me bitch!

Fuckin' priceless!

Maar als je die quotes leest en niet hoort, zijn ze niet leuk .

quote:

---

Op vrijdag 4 juli 2003 23:42 schreef SufferingJanet het volgende:
ik zeg maar twee woorden; Richard Pryor

---

quote:

---

Op zaterdag 5 juli 2003 00:02 schreef deantoine het volgende:

[..]

---

tranen van het lachen krijg je van die shows, en dat overkomt me niet zo gek vaak...

quote:

---

Op woensdag 14 mei 2003 10:43 schreef GhostMan84 het volgende:
[dronken vader]
this is my house ... and if you don't like it...
you can get the fuck out!
[/dronken vader]

[horror films]
when a white man sees blood in the toilet, he be going:
"hmm, that's peculiar"
[/horror films]

[saturday night live]
I WAS THE FIFTH BEATLE!!
[/saturday night live]

[buckwheat sings]
oona panoona bankaaaa

wookin' pa nub in aw the wong paces, wookin' pa nuuub

am da barba ob dabil, bigaro, bigaro

fee times a mady
[/buckwheat sings]

---

??? ?? ???.

Masterrrrrrrrrrr.
Mijn pa heeft hem op video, jammer dat ik geen videorecorder heb.

quote:

---

Op zaterdag 5 juli 2003 00:20 schreef Cici het volgende:

[..]

Laatste nummer, ondetiteling:

---

?una paloma blanca

wookin' pa nub in aw the wong paces, wookin' pa nuuub

?da da in the wrong places..........(?)

am da barba ob dabil, bigaro, bigaro

?i am de barber of seville(?), figaro, figaro

fee times a mady

?three times a lady

[/buckwheat sings]

denk ik.....

quote:

---

Op zaterdag 5 juli 2003 00:20 schreef Cici het volgende:

[..]

Laatste nummer, ondetiteling:

??? ?? ???.

Masterrrrrrrrrrr.
Mijn pa heeft hem op video, jammer dat ik geen videorecorder heb.

---

?una paloma blanca

wookin' pa nub in aw the wong paces, wookin' pa nuuub

?working.......in all the wrong places, working...... (?)

am da barba ob dabil, bigaro, bigaro

?am the barber of seville(?), figaro figaro

fee times a mady

?three times a lady
[/buckwheat sings]

denk ik

en sorry voor het engels

quote:

---

Op maandag 24 juni 2002 11:37 schreef insan1ty het volgende:
Hey boy, heeyy booyy, you look mighty cute in them jeans!! Bend over noww..

---

Zijn imitaties van Bill, Prior, Michael Jackson en Mr. T zijn echt geweldig!

"I Fuck Mike up!"

"Yall can't dance!"

"NNNOOOOWWW!!!"

Zijn shows zijn btw te downloaden vanaf www.cabaretmp3.nl (spam?)

quote:

---

Op zaterdag 5 juli 2003 13:02 schreef ljurk9 het volgende:
>knip<
Zijn shows zijn btw te downloaden vanaf www.cabaretmp3.nl (spam?)

---

I did some jokes about Mr. T, and Mr. T was gonna fuck Ed up. I was scared, coz you all see Mr. T, and he don't look like you know, like he can't fight, he looks like he can whip some ass, right?

And I was petrified. I was walking at party's and people'd say "Yo man, Mr. T was just here lookin' for you" He would walk up to people saying "I'm whipping that mothers ass when I see him..."

Then I watched his show, coz I didn't know him. I watched his show to see what kind of guy he is, and the character of the show ain't to bright, so I figured if he came up to me I can use the Jedi Mind Trick on him.

And Mr. T would walk up going "I heard you did some jokes about me!" "No you didn't." "Maybe I didn't" "I'mma gonna beat up that fool that told me them lies".

You know, coz I fuck Mike up, you know. Michael weighs but a buck or five, you know, I'd bust that ass. My manager said "You know, we don't know everything about Michael Jackson, he might be this bad motherfucker behind closed doors. You know, behind closed doors, he might be completely different"

And I'd be at a party and have Micheal walking up to me one day he'd be like this (high pinched voice) "Can I talk to you for a minute?" (audience laughs)
"Yeah, eh, what's your motherfuckin' problem man? Well how come you keep fuckin with me then huh? What's with all the motherfucking jokes?
You don't like my clothes? Well now, what's your motherfucking problem!? You know that Michael Motherfucking Jackson that would bust your ass?? I'll moonwalk all up and down your ass, motherfucker! You mind your motherfucking business. If I hear some more shit, I'mma put this glove up your ass! I see you later."

quote:

---

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Op dinsdag 20 mei 2003 23:27 schreef Nimitz het volgende:
MEESTERLIJK!
Heb RAW zeg met vanmiddag via P2P gedownload nadat ik dit topic had gezien. Fantastico!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

En heb je Delirious al gezien? Roelt ook

---

God, zit het topic net weer te lezen en ze blijven echt fantastisch.

quote:

---

Op woensdag 9 juli 2003 15:58 schreef MakzBokz het volgende:
I was scared though I'd be at party's and he was lookin' for me, I'd just leave, coz I don't wanna fight Mr. T.
Then I find out that Michael Jackson was lookin' for me, and I was like...
Yo when I found... My manager called me up and said "Yo man, Michael Jackson is MAD" I was like "...So?"

You know, coz I fuck Mike up, you know. Michael weighs but a buck or five, you know, I'd bust that ass. My manager said "You know, we don't know everything about Michael Jackson, he might be this bad motherfucker behind closed doors. You know, behind closed doors, he might be completely different"

And I'd be at a party and have Micheal walking up to me one day he'd be like this (high pinched voice) "Can I talk to you for a minute?" (audience laughs)
"Yeah, eh, what's your motherfuckin' problem man? Well how come you keep fuckin with me then huh? What's with all the motherfucking jokes?
You don't like my clothes? Well now, what's your motherfucking problem!? You know that Michael Motherfucking Jackson that would bust your ass?? I'll moonwalk all up and down your ass, motherfucker! You mind your motherfucking business. If I hear some more shit, I'mma put this glove up your ass! I see you later."

---

Then a voice from the wall says:
GET OUT!!
'We love the house, we can't stay!"

"Lemonade, that cool refreshing drink."

I'd be at party's, there is always two or three homosexuals at a party, the'd be standing out, looking at you, they'd be looking at ye... "He's an aassshole..."

I can't travel the country freely no more, I can't go to San Fransisco. They got 24 hour homo-watch waiting for me. As soon as I got off a plane, they'd be like
"He's here, yesff, yessff It's him yes it's HIM" And the cars are comin', rushing across town, going Woowooowoowwoowooww.

And there won't be no siren, there'd be a real fag sittin' on the roof, going "Woowooowwooowwooooww Heeieiieeeuuuuww.... Pull ovah...

Pull ovah! Pull ovah! I'm gonna read him his rights 'You have the right to remain silent, everything you say van and will be held against you in a court of law You have the right to an interny.., now turn 'round, I'm gonna frisc you. Are you carrying any conceiled weapons? Are you carr... What is this? What is this? Lay down on the floor and spread 'em... WOOOOO!!!"

Hij had nooit in kinderfilms moeten gaan spelen

alhoewel die eerste film waar hij met dieren ging praten nog wel een beetje grappig was. maar dat was denk ik vooral vanwege die cavia die door Chris rock ofzo werdt gedaan