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21 ECONOMIC MODELS EXPLAINED WITH COWS
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the shit out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy...
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive...
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the shit out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy...
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive...
An unstable system is a system that is not stable
VIKING LONGSHIP
You have two cows
You compose a long beautiful saga about how one became the universe and the other will be saved from the apocalypse. Then you rape and pillage some more cows.
You have two cows
You compose a long beautiful saga about how one became the universe and the other will be saved from the apocalypse. Then you rape and pillage some more cows.
Op woensdag 24 sept. 2008 schreef Danny het volgende:
Dagonet doet onaardig tegen iedereen. Je bent dus helemaal niet zo bijzonder als je denkt...
Mijn grootste bijdrage aan de FP.
Dagonet doet onaardig tegen iedereen. Je bent dus helemaal niet zo bijzonder als je denkt...
Mijn grootste bijdrage aan de FP.
A MONGOLIAN HORDE
You have two cows
You dress them up as horses and ride them to the conquest of a continent.
You have two cows
You dress them up as horses and ride them to the conquest of a continent.
Op woensdag 24 sept. 2008 schreef Danny het volgende:
Dagonet doet onaardig tegen iedereen. Je bent dus helemaal niet zo bijzonder als je denkt...
Mijn grootste bijdrage aan de FP.
Dagonet doet onaardig tegen iedereen. Je bent dus helemaal niet zo bijzonder als je denkt...
Mijn grootste bijdrage aan de FP.
DUTCH CORPORATION
You have two cows
You smoke some pot, and hallucinate about the cow sticking it's finger in the dike.
You have two cows
You smoke some pot, and hallucinate about the cow sticking it's finger in the dike.
TVK
When the priest killed a maiden in the metal church
Armored saints and warlocks watched the slaughter
Rage of the slayer forced the pretty maids
To kiss the Queen in crimson glory
Armored saints and warlocks watched the slaughter
Rage of the slayer forced the pretty maids
To kiss the Queen in crimson glory
LAS VEGAS CORPORATION
You have two cows
You sell the rights to place tattoo-ed ads for casino's on all visible parts of the cows
You have two cows
You sell the rights to place tattoo-ed ads for casino's on all visible parts of the cows
FOK CORPORATION
You have two cows
You brag on the internet that your cows are the best and give the most milk and if someone would harm them you would rip their heads of, when in fact you only have imaginary cows and if someone would try to take them you would sit quietly in a corner and cry your eyes out and post a topic on it.
You have two cows
You brag on the internet that your cows are the best and give the most milk and if someone would harm them you would rip their heads of, when in fact you only have imaginary cows and if someone would try to take them you would sit quietly in a corner and cry your eyes out and post a topic on it.
"We are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further." - Richard Dawkins
Goed topic!
Op vrijdag 11 september 2009 18:32 schreef jogy het volgende:
Ik ben zo trots op je dat ik je in brons wil gieten, in de achtertuin wil zetten met een tuinslang door je mond als appelsjapfontein.
Ik ben zo trots op je dat ik je in brons wil gieten, in de achtertuin wil zetten met een tuinslang door je mond als appelsjapfontein.
bagger
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Disclaimer: Typfouten en geen gebruik van leestekens, hoofdletters en onzin voorbehouden.
Disclaimer: Typfouten en geen gebruik van leestekens, hoofdletters en onzin voorbehouden.
A ZIMBABWE CORPORATION
You buy 2 cows for 1 million Zimbabwe dollars
You milk them and sell the milk for 10 million Zimbabwe dollars
When you reach the baker you still can't buy a bread because it costs 100 million dollars
You buy 2 cows for 1 million Zimbabwe dollars
You milk them and sell the milk for 10 million Zimbabwe dollars
When you reach the baker you still can't buy a bread because it costs 100 million dollars
He Who Controls The Present Commands The Future. He Who Commands The Future Conquers The Past
quote:Op woensdag 17 september 2008 00:17 schreef Klautje het volgende:
A MAGIC TRICK
You see 2 cows
Now you see none
Now you see my penis
Haha
MOROCCAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
And then you steal two more.
You have two cows.
And then you steal two more.
"We meet every day at the same cafe, six-thirty and no one knows she'll be there."
quote:Op woensdag 17 september 2008 00:46 schreef Adelante het volgende:
MOROCCAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
And then you steal two more.
CORPORATION
have Therefore
become A 
Now
are 
SPOILEROm spoilers te kunnen lezen moet je zijn ingelogd. Je moet je daarvoor eerst gratis Registreren. Ook kun je spoilers niet lezen als je een ban hebt.© Bafnek
quote:SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
In Memphis, Tennessee, a woman is not to drive a car unless a man warns approaching motorists or pedestrians by walking in front of the car that is being driven.
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