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"Dit is Shana. Shana is dik, dom en lelijk. 'Oh God, ik ben zo'n mislukking' denkt ze. 'Ik wil naar een wereld vol van idiote gemaakte schattigheid, idiote mensen en onzin.

Zie daar ! Gaia Online, mijn paradijs !

Eenmaal aangesloten maakt Shana een avatar aan. Ze kleedt deze mooi aan, zodat ze er aantrekkelijk uitziet (ter compensatie van haar afstotelijke look in het echte leven). Stiekem voelt ze zich wel trots bij de 10 dagelijkse berichten bestaande uit een variatie van "omg ur avi is teh hotn3ss !".



In het echte leven zouden mensen spontaan kotsen en schijten tegelijk als Shana dit tegen ze zou zeggen. Maar in deze virtuele wereld is ze aantrekkelijk, en niet weerzinwekkend. Geen enkel bericht is zonder de mislukte gemaakte schattigheid. Walgelijk, als je je bewust bent van de berggorilla die het heeft getypt.

Gelukkig zijn er ook andere dingen te doen op Gaia.




Shana gaat Role-playen ! Haar mislukking in het echte leven vergeet ze terwijl ze een aantrekkelijke vampier genaamd ~~xXShaDowCastErXx~~ neukt. Het maakt niets uit dat al dit geestdodend idioot is, want zo is Shana ook.

"Oh hoe diep zijn de diepten van mijn onsterfelijke vampierenziel" denkt ze bij zichzelf. "Ik ben zo poetisch begaafd, laat ik poezie gaan schrijven." Wat ze echter niet weet, is dat de brei van cliche beelden en uitdrukkingen die zij bij elkaar schijt eerder van het Down-syndroom dan van talent getuigt.

Daarna...

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Op vrijdag 10 augustus 2007 19:15 schreef Secretus het volgende:


* Iedereen wil zo populair mogelijk worden, en worden opgemerkt, dus posts met lettertype 50, felgroen, zijn eerder de regel dan de uitzondering.

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Op vrijdag 10 augustus 2007 19:24 schreef alwaysthebest het volgende:
Die lay-out ook.

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Op vrijdag 10 augustus 2007 20:25 schreef hugecooll het volgende:
Dat is toch die site met dat belachelijk veel gebruikte forum? (meer posts als dat India inwoners heeft)

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Op vrijdag 10 augustus 2007 20:04 schreef zquing het volgende:
ik ken mensen die het spelen

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Op vrijdag 10 augustus 2007 20:36 schreef PainDivine het volgende:
emo's duh

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Op vrijdag 10 augustus 2007 20:40 schreef PainDivine het volgende:
wat is er mis met naruto / hentai?

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Op vrijdag 10 augustus 2007 20:40 schreef PainDivine het volgende:
wat is er mis met naruto / hentai?

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Op vrijdag 10 augustus 2007 20:43 schreef PainDivine het volgende:
uhm nee niet echt, hoe ziet zoiets eruit?

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Omg hai ^___^ I’m Ai-san and I absolutely luuuv @_____@ anime <3 and my fav is naurto!!! Okies so anyways, im going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot husband sasuke!! <333333333 OMFGZ HE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN KAWAII IN PERSON!!! Supa kawaii desu!!!!!!!! ^______________________________________^

When I walked onto Tokyo street =^____^=I looked up and saw…SASUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 333!!!! “ KONNICHIWA OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SUPA SUPA SUPA KAWAII SASUKE-SAMA!!!!!” I yelled n____n then he turned chibi then un-chibi!! he looked at me [O.O;;;;;;;;;;;] and then he saw how hot I am *___* he grabbed my hand and winked ~_^ then pulled me behind a pocky shop o_o and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HIS TOUNGE TASTED LIKE RAMEN!!! RLY!! >.> <.< >.< *(^O^)* *(^O^)* *(^O^)*] then I saw some baka fat bitch watching us and I could tell she was undressing him with her eyes!!!!!!! [ -_____________-;;;;; OMG I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! (?_?) (?_?) (?_?)] so I yelled “UH UH BAKA NEKO THAT’S MY MAN WHY DON’T YOU GO HOOK UP WITH NARUTO CAUSE SASUKE-SAMA LOVES ME!!! (?_?)” then sasuke held me close =^____^= and said he would only ever love me and kissed me again!!!!!!! ** (*O*)/ then we went to his apartment and banged all night long and made 42 babies and they all became ninjas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!! (^________<) ^_________________^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
__________________

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Op vrijdag 10 augustus 2007 20:45 schreef Egotripper het volgende:

[..]

Weet ik niet. Ik heb ze gelukkig nooit ontmoet
maar ze typen zo
[..]

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Op vrijdag 10 augustus 2007 20:43 schreef PeZu het volgende:

[..]

naruto _!

hentai _____________!

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Op vrijdag 10 augustus 2007 20:46 schreef PainDivine het volgende:

[..]

omg wtf? O_O roflcopterlmaozedongwtfbbq!!!
das humor

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Op vrijdag 10 augustus 2007 20:48 schreef PainDivine het volgende:
wattes

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Op vrijdag 10 augustus 2007 20:51 schreef PainDivine het volgende:
O_O tja ik hang ook nie op zulke tyfussites (behalve deze), dus mijn tere zieltje is nie door die crap aangetast
arme jullie though

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Op vrijdag 10 augustus 2007 20:55 schreef NickW het volgende:
Talpa

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Op vrijdag 10 augustus 2007 20:55 schreef Egotripper het volgende:

[..]

Oh wel soms is het best grappig
Sommige mensen zijn echt dom daar. Zoals als een meisje dat met haar cyber bf aan het praten was en vroeg of hij echt een jongen was. Ik zei dat het een hermafrodiet was en toen dumpte ze hem.

Pwned

O nee wacht eigelijk was dat best kansloos

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Op vrijdag 10 augustus 2007 20:55 schreef Egotripper het volgende:

[..]

...Zoals als een meisje dat met haar cyber bf aan het praten was en vroeg of hij echt een jongen was. Ik zei dat het een hermafrodiet was en toen dumpte ze hem.

Pwned
...

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Purble Baby Toaster
Anal Refuge Community

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[insert.cool.name.here]
etc.

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naruto9914
narutoluver334
Sasuke249

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Op vrijdag 10 augustus 2007 21:38 schreef Pool het volgende:
Kun je ook op dat forum komen zonder te registreren? Registreren lukte me namelijk niet, omdat ik bij het openingsscherm mijn muis al heb ondergekotst.

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Op vrijdag 10 augustus 2007 21:30 schreef DoorgestokenKaart het volgende:
Die spamthread is ook grappig. Zo ongeveer 5 posts per seconde.

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" I Was A Japanese Schoolgirl " (nsfw)

I'm not sure how many of you know this, but Japan is a country fraught with dangers and difficulties, especially for young girls in our teens. Naturally, there are the obvious threats such as the occasional Godzilla rampage, prehistoric giant insect infestations, and the fact that Tokyo Tower acts as a beacon to nearly all malevolent alien beasts. But only in the past several decades has my country's real national threat been discovered and documented. The greatest threat to my people, and to people like me, is the tentacle monster, or "sex beast."

It all started when a young schoolgirl happened to be on a school trip to the seaside with her class, and was walking through the shallows during low tide, hunting for seashells. She discovered a young squid that had gotten stuck inside one of the small pools just out of reach of the waves. Feeling sorry for the afflicted creature, she carefully scooped its gelatinous, wriggly body out of the water and tossed it into the surf, freeing it from its fate of certain death.

Unbeknownst to her, that had been no ordinary squid. In reality, it was a member of a court of highly-intelligent alien beings, all of which had made their homes in the ocean surrounding Japan. The small creature immediately rushed home to tell its comrades about its ordeal, excitedly describing the kindness and compassion of the human female that had rescued it. The creatures were highly interested. They had been searching for quite some time for suitable hosts to use for the gestation of their eggs. You see, although the beings had arrived on our planet in great numbers, they had arrived without females, as all of theirs had fallen ill with a strange disease and perished during the trip. But they were highly adaptive, and had the ability to adapt their reproduction to virtually any species they encountered, producing powerful, combinational offspring. That simple rescue had sealed the doom of Japanese schoolgirls everywhere.

What followed was nothing short of horrific. The creatures emerged in hordes from the sea, transforming into grotesque, tentacle-ridden masses that grew in size upon touching the open air. They spread like a plague through the islands, making their homes in dark alleys, sewers, and anywhere else they could hide. Some were even skilled enough in their transformations to make themselves appear human. Once situated, they began their unwholesome task - to find as many schoolgirls as they could within their lifetimes and impregnate them. It was a gruesome thing, and many girls lost their lives before the creatures could determine the correct level of force that was needed to subdue and mate with a human female. Those that did survive suffered horrible fates - either giving birth to demonic offspring and going mad from the experience, or not surviving at all, as many of their children were gifted with beyond-human strength and destroyed their mothers from within the womb before even being born. The children of these women often had human emotions and mentalities, but were nearly always born in the natural shape of their fathers. Instinctively, they all knew that they were part of a different race of beings, and joined their fathers and brethren in the continued preying upon the human female population.

Although it was often argued that the creatures meant us no harm and only wished to reproduce, it was an understatement to say that they were unwelcome. Many attempts to eradicate them were made by countless individuals and organizations, each with little to no success, and only dead bodies to show for it. The creatures were too strong for normal weapons to phase them, and too crafty to be trapped or manipulated. Although they could communicate with us, they refused to listen to our pleas to be left alone. And for years, it was a constant fear for every girl to appear alone on the street.

Many said this was no way to live. But after so many failed attempts, few dared to oppose the creatures, despite their insatiable appetites for pretty girls. Like them, I also thought it was hopeless, and that the only thing I could do was be careful not to fall victim to one of the creatures. My mind was changed however, the day my best friend Miki was brutally ravaged and killed by an overzealous fiend by the name of Gnozo.

Every neighborhood had at least one resident "sex beast," as we called them. Ours was Gnozo, and he had a reputation for violence. Those who did survive his attacks - and weren't too traumatized by the event to remember - were able to tell us that he had difficulty restraining himself, and exerted more force than sex beasts normally used when mating. Few human women - much less young girls of fifteen and sixteen - had the strength and flexibility to outlast him enough to survive. Miki had been petite for her age, and was never what you would call "strong." She had been shy, small, and cautious nearly all her life. None of us would have expected her to be taken, as she was always so careful. But however it happened, Gnozo got his slimy tentacles on her, and in a single night of carnal pleasure, had nearly torn her fragile body in half. We only hope that she died quickly, however little that could console her family.

On the day of her funeral, I made a vow to her headstone that her life would not have been taken in vain. I was going to find a way to kill the sex beasts. And the first on my list was Gnozo. I didn't care if I had to use my own body as bait to do it. I was going to have my revenge!

End Prologue

Lol, should I continue?

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Op vrijdag 10 augustus 2007 21:57 schreef Pool het volgende:

[..]

http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=31066933

Die radioactiviteit van 1945 is toch langer blijven hangen dan ik dacht. Dit komt uit de categorie 'Writers' uit de 'Artist's Corner'. Zoals bij ons TTK zeg maar.

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Op vrijdag 10 augustus 2007 21:47 schreef DoorgestokenKaart het volgende:
[afbeelding]

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Gaia Online 433 up, 127 down


Gaia Online, is an anime roleplaying community. It's a massive message board with gaming aspects. You gain "gold" for everything you do on the site, from clicking links, to posting. You use this gold to purchase clothing, and items for your avatar. Which represents you on the boards.

It's a addicting site, which will consume your life! Currently, in the alpha testing phases. It as of now contains one game. A fishing game, it's rather fun. This site it among the biggest on the net, and is for the older crowd, sitting itself far away from "neopets" or anything of that sort.

www.gaiaonline.com is a really awesome site, yo'

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Op zaterdag 11 augustus 2007 01:18 schreef sitting_elfling het volgende:
speelt TS .. niet .. WOW!??????????

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Op vrijdag 10 augustus 2007 21:53 schreef Secretus het volgende:
En er zitten dus ook serieus huisvrouwen en moeders 30+, 40+ op dat forum.
Dan moet je toch serieus gehandicapt zijn.

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Op zaterdag 11 augustus 2007 01:22 schreef Secretus het volgende:

[..]

... Nee ?

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Gaia Online 111 up, 128 down

The worst invention of anyone on the internet. Collectively known as gaiafags. Spend time being stupid, unfunny attention whores who think they're japanese.

Holy SHIT the concept of Gaia Online is gay.

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Op zaterdag 11 augustus 2007 15:27 schreef OldJeller het volgende:
Het is wel het grootste internetforum dat bestaat, FOK! staat op nummer 11.

Bekijk http://rankings.big-boards.com/ het lijstje met grootste fora op internet.

Ik stel voor om een war aan te gaan met andere grote fora, om te beginnen met: gaiaonline.

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Op zaterdag 11 augustus 2007 16:06 schreef Secretus het volgende:

[..]

4chan heeft Gaia Online al een keer geraid, maar omdat het zo gigantisch groot is, is het zeer lastig