Recently I read about the Bachelor Honours Class and immediately gained interest in the program. With this motivation letter I would like to apply for the Bachelor Honours class
First I would like to introduce myself. I am Mctwigt a student living in Rotterdam. After graduation of pre-university with the profile Economics and Society at the Comenius College I went to study Economics at the Erasmus University. Being in the first year of the Bachelor after the first two blocks I really enjoy studying economics. I would like to mention that I have Dyslexia but I don’t have any problem with it and it sure will not hold me back in doing what I want. I am always very driven and sure about what I want. I am determined to achieve my goals. I am also very inquisitive and that comes in handy when studying, because of this I do a lot of research to better understand certain aspects of the study and when I run into difficulties I don’t hesitate to ask others about it or try to figure it out on my own.
The reason that I am interested in the Bachelor Honours Class is because I really like to extend my economic knowledge and have an extra challenge in addition to my study. I enjoy my study in Economics on the Erasmus University very much and have developed an interest in the field of economics. Even though I have dyslexia I like to challenge myself to go further explore my capabilities and broaden my knowledge of economics. When I had a conversation with my mentor he told me that with my grades the Bachelor Honours Class is possible and although my average grade is not an eight he told me that I could try to apply for participation. Being part of the Bachelour Honours Class also means being part of a group of motivated student who know what they want and having a better relationship with the science of economics and the Erasmus University. This is my reason for applying.
I think that I would do well in the Bachelor Honours Class, because I am a motivated student who is driven and straight forward. I am also a student who is determined and shows a large interest in economics and the surrounding aspect of the science, like mathematics for example. I see the Bachelor Honours Class as an expansion to that what I already know about economics and as an extra challenge next to my study. These are the reasons why I would like to be selected for the Bachelor Honours Class.
I would like to explain my interest in this position in person. Looking forward to your reaction.
Ik zou in ieder geval beginnen met je naam en gegevens boven de brief te zetten en de datum. En dan zoiets als aanhef:
"To the admission board for the Honours Class Bachelor programme"
En afsluiten met "Looking forward to your reaction" komt een beetje bot over. Maak er dan zoiets van: "I would like to explain my interest in this position in person and will be patiently waiting for a positive answer from your side".
En dan "Yours sincerely,
Je naam"
Being in the first year of the Bachelor after the first two blocks I really enjoy studying economics << rare zinquote:Op zondag 16 januari 2011 00:36 schreef mctwigt het volgende:
Kan iemand aanvulling geven en commentaar op deze brief?
Recently I read about the Bachelor Honours Class and immediately gained interest in the program. With this motivation letter I would like to apply for the Bachelor Honours class
First I would like to introduce myself. I am Mctwigt a student living in Rotterdam. After graduation of pre-university with the profile Economics and Society at the Comenius College I went to study Economics at the Erasmus University. Being in the first year of the Bachelor after the first two blocks I really enjoy studying economics. I would like to mention that I have Dyslexia but I don’t have any problem with it and it sure will not hold me back in doing what I want. I am also very inquisitive and that comes in handy when studying, because of this I do a lot of research to better understand certain aspects of the study and when I run into difficulties I don’t hesitate to ask others about it or try to figure it out on my own. am always very driven and sure about what I want. I am determined to achieve my goals.
The reason that I am interested in the Bachelor Honours Class is because I really like to extend my economic knowledge and have an extra challenge in addition to my study. I enjoy my study in Economics on the Erasmus University very much and have developed an interest in the field of economics. Even though I have dyslexia I like to challenge myself to go further explore my capabilities and broaden my knowledge of economics. When I had a conversation with my mentor he told me that with my grades the Bachelor Honours Class is possible and although my average grade is not an eight he told me that I could try to apply for participation. Being part of the Bachelour Honours Class also means being part of a group of motivated student who know what they want and having a better relationship with the science of economics and the Erasmus University. This is my reason for applying.
I think that I would do well in the Bachelor Honours Class, because I am a motivated student who is driven and straight forward. I am also a student who is determined and shows a large interest in economics and the surrounding aspect of the science, like mathematics for example. I see the Bachelor Honours Class as an expansion to that what I already know about economics and as an extra challenge next to my study. These are the reasons why I would like to be selected for the Bachelor Honours Class.
I would like to explain my interest in this position in person. Looking forward to your reaction.
I would like to mention that I have Dyslexia but I don’t have any problem with it and it sure will not hold me back in doing what I want. << even verder op staat de volgende zin >>
Even though I have dyslexia I like to challenge myself to go further explore my << gebruik deze zin en laat de komma tussen dyslexia and I weg alsmede go tussen to en further weglaten.
I am always very driven and sure about what I want. I am determined to achieve my goals << very driven en determined komt op hetzelfe neer. Wat zijn je doelen dan? probeer deze zin te gebruiken: I got my heart set on becoming the best <wat wil je worden> and i'm willing to do whatever it takes.
I am also very inquisitive and that comes in handy when studying, because of this I do a lot of research to better understand certain aspects of the study. << mooi woord dat inquisitive, ik zou er iets van maken als: i got a very inquisitive nature and because of this (rest van de zin).
and when I run into difficulties I don’t hesitate to ask others about it or try to figure it out on my own. << verwissel de volgorde. Nu klinkt het alsof je eerst anderen vraagt voordat je het zelf probeert. dat komt niet goed over.
I enjoy my study in Economics on the Erasmus University very much and have developed an interest in the field of economics.<< is het niet study on? en hoe ik het lees staat er dat je pas interesse in econom hebt gekregen nadat je bent gaan studeren. wat een beetje raar zou zijn.
The reason that I am interested in the Bachelor Honours Class is because I really like to extend my economic knowledge and have an extra challenge in addition to my study << the reason weg laten. probeer het challenge gedeelte iets netter te laten klinken.
When I had a conversation with my mentor he told me that with my grades the Bachelor Honours Class is possible and although my average grade is not an eight he told me that I could try to apply for participation << maak er: i discussed applying for the bachelour honours with my mentor. het is grade average. misschien: and although my grade average does not meet the required eight, my perseverance and genuine interest will hopefully be taken into account.
Being part of the Bachelour Honours Class also means being part of a group of motivated student who know what they want and having a better relationship with the science of economics and the Erasmus University. << student moet meervoud zijn. also zou ik weglaten.relationship klinkt heel rare in deze context. ik zou het woord: appeals er in proberen te verwerken.
I think that I would do well in the Bachelor Honours Class, because I am a motivated student who is driven and straight forward. << heb je al eens gezegd.
am also a student who is determined and shows a large interest in economics and the surrounding aspect of the science, like mathematics for example. << heb je al eens gezegd.
I see the Bachelor Honours Class as an expansion to that what I already know about economics and as an extra challenge next to my study. These are the reasons why I would like to be selected for the Bachelor Honours Class. << heb je al eens gezegd. misschien: For me the Bachelor Honours Class would be a marvelous way to explore additional facets of Economics and quench my never-ending hunger for information.
Heel veel dingen zou ik veranderen. Het is aan jou zelf waar je het mee eens bent. Je wilt in ieder geval duidelijk maken dat je gemotiveerd bent, dus zorg ervoor dat dit goed over komt.
Ik zou verder de structuur van je brief veranderen want dingen komen dubbel voor (of ik heb fout gekopieerd). Misschien moet je zeggen dat je supergemotiveerd en leergierig bent en daarom denkt dat de bachelor house wel iets voor jou is (direct achter elkaar)
Het is mij in ieder geval wel duidelijk dat je gemotiveerd bent en ook moeite hebt gedaan voor je brief. Maar de zinsopbouw laat nog te wensen over.
Als ik morgen scherp ben zal ik hem even doorlezen! (Ben nu bezig met mijn CPE examen voor te bereiden dus dit is wel een mooie oefening)
Na even snel doorkijken kom ik wel tot de conclusie dat het niet echt hoogstaand Engels is.
De brief verstuur ik via de mail en de programme instructorsquote:eigen straat+huisnr
postcode+stad
To the admission board for the Bachelor Honours Class.
January 15th 2011
Dear sir, madame,
Recently I read about the Bachelor Honours Class and immediately gained interest in the program. With this motivation letter I would like to apply for the Bachelor Honours class
First I would like to introduce myself. I am NAAM a student living in Rotterdam. After graduation of pre-university with the profile Economie en Maatschappij at the Comenius College I went to study Economics at the Erasmus University. I got my heart set on accomplishing my goals and I am willing to do whatever it takes. I got a very inquisitive nature and because of this I do a lot of research to better understand certain aspects of the study and when I run into difficulties I do not hesitate to try and figure it out on my own or to ask others about it.
I am interested in the Bachelor Honours Class because I really want to extend my economic knowledge and have an extra challenge in addition to my study. I enjoy my study on Economics on the Erasmus University very much and have developed a much larger interest in the field of economics that when I applied for the study. Even though I have dyslexia I like to challenge myself to further explore my capabilities and broaden my knowledge of economics. I discussed applying for the Bachelor Honours Class with my mentor and he told me that with my grades the Bachelor Honours Class is possible. And although my grade average does not meet the required eight, my perseverance and genuine interest will hopefully be taken into account. Being part of the Bachelour Honours Class also means being part of a group of motivated students who know what they want and having a better appealing with the science of economics and the Erasmus University. This is my reason for applying.
I think that I would do well in the Bachelor Honours Class, because I am also a student who is determined and shows a large interest in economics and the surrounding aspect of the science. For me the Bachelor Honours Class would be a marvelous way to explore additional facets of Economics and quench my never-ending hunger for information. This is why I should be selected for the Bachelor Honours Class.
I would like to explain my interest in this position in person. And will be patiently waiting for a positive answer from your side.
(ik kwam ook deze nog tegen ergens en vond het wel professioneel klinken: Realizing the limitations of the written page, I would welcome the opportunity to participate in a personal interview to answers any of your questions and better present my qualifications. I look forward to speaking with you soon.)
Sincerely,
naam
studentnummer
Enclosures:
Resume
Grade list
zoals of de site staat
For the application you need to send your grade list, resume and a motivational letter of at least one page to the programme instructors. In the motivation letter you should provide your reasons for applying, introduce yourself and explain why you should be selected for a place in the honours class.
Als je toevallig iemand kent die Engels is of het studeert oid zou ik het even door laten lezen op grammaticale fouten en samenhang, dat is voornamelijk de reden waarom ik zei dat het naar de prullenbak verwezen zou worden, inhoudelijk is het best redelijk. In ieder geval zou ik je zinnen wat meer aan elkaar koppelen en zaken zoals dat je het met je mentor besproken hebt eruit laten, dat is voor hun niet zo relevant. Misschien wat meer vertellen over hoe je denkt dat de Honoursclasses je gaan helpen bij je ontwikkeling. Je kan trouwens ook beter je laatste suggestie voor een afsluitende zin gebruiken, denk ik.
Dit is het beste om te doen, want deze brief is veels te jip en janneke.quote:
Ik wil niet lullig zijn, maar deze brief zou ook in de vernieuwde vorm meteen naar de prullenbak verwezen worden door menig Engelstalig instituut, nu is dat hierbij geloof ik niet het geval dus dat scheelt. Ik wil er best opbouwende kritiek van maken, maar het feit is dat het moeilijker is om zoiets te corrigeren dan om het helemaal opnieuw te schrijven.
Als je toevallig iemand kent die Engels is of het studeert oid zou ik het even door laten lezen op grammaticale fouten en samenhang, dat is voornamelijk de reden waarom ik zei dat het naar de prullenbak verwezen zou worden, inhoudelijk is het best redelijk. In ieder geval zou ik je zinnen wat meer aan elkaar koppelen en zaken zoals dat je het met je mentor besproken hebt eruit laten, dat is voor hun niet zo relevant. Misschien wat meer vertellen over hoe je denkt dat de Honoursclasses je gaan helpen bij je ontwikkeling. Je kan trouwens ook beter je laatste suggestie voor een afsluitende zin gebruiken, denk ik.
Dat...quote:
Ik wil niet lullig zijn, maar deze brief zou ook in de vernieuwde vorm meteen naar de prullenbak verwezen worden door menig Engelstalig instituut, nu is dat hierbij geloof ik niet het geval dus dat scheelt. Ik wil er best opbouwende kritiek van maken, maar het feit is dat het moeilijker is om zoiets te corrigeren dan om het helemaal opnieuw te schrijven.
Als je toevallig iemand kent die Engels is of het studeert oid zou ik het even door laten lezen op grammaticale fouten en samenhang, dat is voornamelijk de reden waarom ik zei dat het naar de prullenbak verwezen zou worden, inhoudelijk is het best redelijk. In ieder geval zou ik je zinnen wat meer aan elkaar koppelen en zaken zoals dat je het met je mentor besproken hebt eruit laten, dat is voor hun niet zo relevant. Misschien wat meer vertellen over hoe je denkt dat de Honoursclasses je gaan helpen bij je ontwikkeling. Je kan trouwens ook beter je laatste suggestie voor een afsluitende zin gebruiken, denk ik.
Naar mijn mening zouden ze nu wat langer wachten met in de prullenbak gooien, maar ja dat is mijn meningquote:eigen Straat+huisnr
postcode+plaats
To the admission board for the Bachelor Honours Class.
January 15th, 2011
Dear (persoon aan wie gericht)
Recently I have read some information on the Bachelor Honours Class and I immediately gained interest in the program. In this letter of motivation I would like to apply myself for the Bachelor Honours class
First I would like to introduce myself. I am NAAM and I am a student living in Rotterdam. After my graduation of pre-university secondary school in subjects concerning Economics and Society (Dutch name: Economie en Maatschappij) at the Comenius College I started to study Economics at the Erasmus University. I got my heart set on accomplishing my goals and I am willing to do whatever it takes. I got a very inquisitive nature and because of this I do a lot of research to better understand certain aspects of the subjects taught and when I run into difficulties I do not hesitate to try and figure it out on my own or to ask others about it.
I am interested in the Bachelor Honours Class since I truly want to extend my economic knowledge and I would like to have an extra challenge in addition to my studies. Following intense and interactive lectures by experts in the fields of economics is something that really got my interest. I enjoy my studies on Economics on the Erasmus University very much and I have developed a much larger interest in the field of economics then before I applied for Economics. Even though I have dyslexia I like to challenge myself to further explore my capabilities and broaden my knowledge of economics. I have discussed applying for the Bachelor Honours Class with my mentor and he told me that with my grades the Bachelor Honours Class is possible. Although my grade average does not meet the required eight, my perseverance and genuine interest will hopefully be taken into account. Being part of the Bachelour Honours Class also means being part of a group of motivated students that knows what they want and that feels a stronger connection with the science of economics and the Erasmus University.
I think that I would do well in the Bachelor Honours Class, as I am a student who is determined and shows a large interest in economics and the surrounding aspect of the science. For me the Bachelor Honours Class would be a marvelous way to explore additional facets of Economics and quench my never-ending desire for information. These are a few reasons why I believe I should be selected for the Bachelor Honours Class.
Realizing the limitations of the written page, I would welcome the opportunity to participate in a personal interview to answer any of your questions and better present my qualifications. I look forward to speaking with you soon
Yours sincerely,
NAAM
Enclosures:
Resume
Grade list
En gezien mijn Engels in het begin is dat denk ik wel met een flinke schuit zout te nemen. Ik vind het typen va neen Engelse brief wel kut, gezien ik hier nooit vaak mee heb geoefend op dit niveau... Op de middelbare kreeg ik met wat simpele jip en janneke taal met een 7.5. Ik schrok zelf wel toen ik mijn brief herlas van de OP, gezien ik toch veel Engels lees zou je denken dat een brief dan wel te doen is... not 
zoals?quote:
niet "apply myself", om maar te beginnen
Zijn even gauw wat voorbeelden.
Je bent hier interpunctie vergeten.
Zo is de zin overzichtelijker:
After my graduation of pre-university secondary school, in subjects concerning Economics and Society, I started a study Economics at the Erasmus University.
Je profiel in het Nederlands hoeft er niet bij, het is zo duidelijk genoeg.
Ook maakt het niet uit op welke school je dit hebt gedaan, zolang je maar een volwaardig diploma hebt.
Ik zou de zin zo doen.
First of all I would like to introduce myself, I am NAAM a student living in the city of Rotterdam.
________________________________________________________________________________
I got my heart set on accomplishing my goals and I am willing to do whatever it takes.
Deze zin heeft nog een kleine toevoeging nodig.
I got my heart set on accomplishing my goals and I am willing to do whatever it takes to achieve these goals.
________________________________________________________________________________
Let goed op je interpunctie.
I got a very inquisitive nature and because of this I do a lot of research to better understand certain aspects of the subjects taught and when I run into difficulties I do not hesitate to try and figure it out on my own or to ask others about it.
Ik zou de zin zo doen.
I got a very inquisitive nature, because of this I do a lot of research to understand certain of the aspects which are taught in class better. Also when I run into difficulties I do not hesitate to find someone how can help me to solve my problem.
[ Bericht 22% gewijzigd door SawIt op 18-01-2011 20:28:30 ]
Zoietsquote:Recently I have (moet past simple zijn) read some information on the Bachelor Honours Class and I immediately gained interest in the program. In this letter of motivation I would like to apply myself for the Bachelor Honours class. <-punt
First of all I would like to introduce myself. I am (my name is is netter) NAAM and I am a student living in Rotterdam. After I graduated secondary school in subjects concerning Economics and Society (Dutch name: Economie en Maatschappij) at the Comenius College, <- komma I started embarked on an Economics study (denk ik) at the Erasmus University. I got have (netter) my heart set on accomplishing my goals and I am willing to do whatever it takes. I got have a very inquisitive nature and because of this I do a lot of research to improve my understanding of certain aspects of the subjects taught and when I run into difficulties I do not hesitate to try and figure it out on my own or to ask others about it.
I am interested in the Bachelor Honours Class since I truly want to extend my economic knowledge and I would like to have an extra challenge in addition to my studies. Following intense and interactive lectures by experts in the fields of economics is something that really got has my interest. I enjoy my studies on Economics on at the Erasmus University very much and I have developed a much larger interest in the field of economics then than before I applied for Economics. Even though I have dyslexia I like to challenge myself to further explore my capabilities and broaden my knowledge of economics. I have discussed applying for the Bachelor Honours Class with my mentor and he told me that with my grades the Bachelor Honours Class is possible (a possibility?). Although my grade average does not meet the required eight, my perseverance and genuine interest will hopefully be taken into account. Being part of the Bachelor Honours Class also means being part of a group of motivated students that who know what they want [[and that feels a stronger connection with the science of economics and the Erasmus University. ]] <- deze zin is fout, ik weet niet wat je hier probeert duidelijk te maken.
I think that I would do well in the Bachelor Honours Class, as I am a student who is determined and shows a large interest in economics and the surrounding aspect of the science. For me the Bachelor Honours Class would be a marvellous way to explore additional facets of Economics and quench my never-ending desire for information. These are a few reasons why I believe I should be selected for the Bachelor Honours Class.
Realizing the limitations of the written page, I would welcome the opportunity to participate in a personal interview to answer any of your questions and present my qualifications in a better way. I look forward to speaking with you soon
Plus dan wat die mensen boven mij nog zeidenquote:
After my orientation interview with Dr. PIET on July 2nd, I am even more confident that the [Uni] [Programma] would be an excellent start for an ambitious career in information technology.
Thank you for your time and consideration. If you require any further information, please feel free to contact me by telephone at [Mobiel] or by E-mail at [Mailadres].
Looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
[Naam]
Deze deed het ook goed (liet zien dat je extra informatie had verzameld en echt met het onderwerp bezig bent:
I have checked with human resource departments at the four major consultancy firms (i.e. KPGM, Ernst & Young, PWC and Deloitte) and the [Mijn programma] program of [Uni] is held in great esteem.
Daarnaast staat er heel vaak "Economics" in en gebruik je "I" teveel (naar mijn mening).
Heb je al een voorbeeldbrief bekeken? Er zijn er namelijk zat beschikbaar.
Er staan ook nog wat kleine zaken in. Voorbeeldje "way to explore" way zou ik vervangen door opportunity.
[ Bericht 3% gewijzigd door Marver8 op 18-01-2011 22:49:36 ]
Is dit zo goed geschreven?:
quote:After my Bachelor of Economics I would like to embark on a research master. Becoming a researcher is one of the goals I have in my life, and being part of the Honours Class is somthing that will help me becoming a researcher.
Ik zou zeggen: Is one of my goals in lifequote:
Ik wou het volgende nog in mijn brief stoppen.
Is dit zo goed geschreven?:
[..]