EXT. BEEKMAN THEATER-DAY
Alvy stands in front of glass doors of theater, the ticket taker behind him
just inside the glass doors. The sounds of city traffic, car horns honking,
can be heard while he looks around waiting for, Annie. A man in a black leather
jacket, walking past the theater, stops in front of, Alvy. He looks at him,
then moves away. He stops a few steps farther and turns around to look at Alvy
again. Alvy looks away, then back at the man. The man continues to stare.
Alvy scratches his head, looking for Annie and trying not to notice the man.
The man, still staring, walks back to Alvy.
1ST MAN
Hey, you on television?
ALVY
(Nodding his head)
No. Yeah, once in a while. You know,
like occasionally.
1ST MAN
What's your name?
ALVY
(Clearing his throat)
You wouldn't know it. It doesn't matter.
What's the difference?
1ST MAN
You were on ... uh, the ... uh, the Johnny
Carson, right?
ALVY
Once in a while, you know. I mean, you
know, every now-
1ST MAN
What's your name?
Alvy is getting more and more uneasy as the man talks; more and more people
move through the doors of the theater.
ALVY
(Nervously)
I'm ... I'm, uh, I'm Robert Redford.
1ST MAN
(Laughing)
Come on.
ALVY
Alvy Singer. It was nice nice ... Thanks
very much ... for everything.
They shake hands and Alvy pats the man's arm. The man in turn looks over his
shoulder and motions to another man. All excited now, he points to Alvy and
calls out. Alvy looks impatient.
1ST MAN
Hey!
2ND MAN
(Off screen)
What?
1ST MAN
This is Alvy Singer!
ALVY
Fellas ... you know-Jesus! Come on!
1ST MAN
(Overlapping, ignoring Alvy)
This guy's on television! Alvy
Singer, right? Am I right?
ALVY
(Overlapping 1st man)
Gimme a break, will yuh, gimme a break.
Jesus Christ!
1ST MAN
(Still ignoring Alvy's protestations)
This guy's on television.
ALVY
I need a large polo mallet!
2ND MAN
(Moving into the screen)
Who's on television?
1ST MAN
This guy, on the Johnny Carson show.
ALVY
(Annoyed)
Fellas, what is this-a meeting o' the
teamsters?
You know.. .
2ND MAN
(Also ignoring Alvy)
What program?
1ST MAN
(Holding out a matchbook)
Can I have your autograph?
ALVY
You don't want my autograph.
1ST MAN
(Overlapping, Alvy's speech)
Yeah, I do. It's for my girl friend.
Make it out to Ralph.
ALVY
(Taking the matchbook and pen and
writing)
Your girl friend's name is Ralph?
1ST MAN
It's for my brudder.
(To passersby)
Alvy Singer! Hey! This is Alvy-
2ND MAN
(To Alvy, overlapping 1st man's speech)
You really Alvy Singer, the ... the
TV star?
Nodding his head yes, Alvy shoves 2nd man aside and moves to the curb of the
sidewalk. The two men follow, still talking over the traffic noise.
1ST MAN
-Singer!
2ND MAN
Alvy Singer over here!
.
A cab moves into the frame and stops by the curb. Alvy moves over to it about
to get in.
ALVY
(Overlapping the two men and
stuttering)
I-i-i-i-it's all right, fellas.
(As Alvy opens the cab door, the
two men still behind him, Annie
gets out)
Jesus, what'd you do, come by way of
the Panama Canal?
ANNIE
(Overlapping Alvy)
Alright, alright, I'm in a bad mood, okay?
Annie closes the cab door and she and Alvy move over to the ticket booth of
the theater as they continue to talk.
ALVY
Bad mood? I'm standing with the cast of
"The Godfather."
ANNIE
You're gonna hafta learn to deal with it.
ALVY
Deal! I'm dealing with two guys named
Cheech!